The Mutts Nuts

Not only is he cwazy but we love him in the above term as he is the BEST too!

Ive just had Jo and her cute kiddlies over and he has been spoiled rotten with affection. Little Alex was besides himself with glee as Eddy chased him in and out of the house. Ruth tried to get a look in when she could and Jo didn't have a second to bond with him at all.

We had such a lovely 2 days albeit me having to snick in a bit of work time here and there. We did find time to "walk off" our tea and take Edds for a trot last night via our own geocache that mark set up a few weeks back. Alex couldn't wait to get hold of the leash and feel important. I was looking forward to showing them my favourite park only I got bitten en route, AGAIN, by a stinking ridiculous if not monstrous insect from the land of venom and evil and now my arm has just about fallen off. I screamed when I felt it bite me not because it hurt, because it didn't really, but because I react pretty bad to bites. So I rang Mark to come and pick us up. I was a bit shaky, so much so I just wanted to go home and bury my head in a pillow and cry. However, after daubing the bite with antihistamine and necking half of Ellies Piriton liquid (which was total pukesville - vomit would have been tastier if not creamier) the bite disappeared until the morning and now the bit eis throbbing and my arm is falling off at the elbow. Well not exactly but you can imagine, it don't look pretty.

From what I remember this looked like offending little sod.

I said to Jo that it wasn't a gauzy flying insect but it looked like an armoured insect (obviously hard as nails and fit for nuclear war on my arm). I described the shape as a stealth bomber (because Im good at identifying aircraft, you ought to see my collection of tail numbers I have. Its quite the scene) so I have hunted the net down and I believe I was bitten by a distant relative Atilla the Hun but in insect form.

You know, babies I can deliver.

Blood I can bear.

But insect bites that ultimately pustules the size of an adult human head in 36 hours and renders your limbs falling off is not funny.

Jo left this afternoon but before she went, I took pics of the kids in the garden because overcast weather is perfect for photo shoots. I only had the use of one arm and considering this fact, I think I did a coolio job. Jo,who you may remember wedding photos of from May this year (she has had her fashionably cut in a bob), looks especially adorable . She is a really gentle, kind and heartwarming person who put up with a few of my disdains mainly due to my new lens being delayed because to some v. crap excuse so I cancelled and bought a different and cheaper lens).

They have gone home now and I have been beavering away on some papers for Crafts Beautiful October Issue plus a new regular feature article that Im responsible for which has been tripled in size from a small section to a whole page. The article focuses on what I get up to on a weekly basis, my best finds and projects I have made with them. Its a whole new concept for me as Im usually commissioned for projects of a certain topic selected by the editor but Im so grateful to have a free rein on the page - Kate Hemmings is such the sweetest girl at Aceville and she trusts me not to make odd projects!!!!. Ive even had a dabble doing some decoupage with Jolly Nations super cute cut outs (decoupage, never thought I'd see the day), chopped up endless DCWV Nannas Nursery collection papers, fab Doodlebug (as ever) and these neat little stamps by Lindsay Mason by Funstamps.

Finally if you are in the Oswaldtwistle area of Accrington on sat/sun, come and see us at Dawns studio along with Paula Pascual, Leonie, Dawn, Clare Curd and hundreds of other craft daft dudes.

Thunderbolts and lightening...

...are very very frightening.
To quote but a Queen classic!
Last night, in the small hours of the morning we were awoken by a boom of thunder and a whimpering pooch. Poor little dude. He was scared to death. Not only that but it was baking hot in the house and you lie there without a stitch of clothing on you, spread-eagled hoping that if you are going to get burgled, it wont be tonight because I ain't going to be a pretty sight for the thief if he ventures into the bedroom (who is obv looking for my rubies and emeralds which, incidentally are under the floorboards). I woke this morgen with my hair stuck to my face and quite clearly looking stunning.
Id love to regale how excruciatingly boring most of my afternoon was but then you would only sue me as you feel the urge to slit your wrists or indeed hang yourself from the banister. Instead all I can rejoice in for the next few days are these:

1. Jo and her kids are coming to see me for two days. I took Jo's wedding pics in May and she is coming to pick them up and play craftiness with me. Her kids will probably kill each other with boredom unless I tempt them with the Wii fit and sweeties. Belle is not here for them to play with, she is still at Mums and whom came out in a severe allergic rash this afternoon. Mum took her to her docs who prescribed antihistamines and believe it or not, the rash cleared soon after. Scared me half to death it did.
2. The Luxurious Angels Experience has opened the doors to day trippers which will accommodate locals who don't feel the urge to stay the night. Im so excited about this event and Im currently looking for ACE sponsors for one of my classes but I know you will ultimately enjoy it(Id rather die than give a bad class; my promise to you... hoping that I don't really die but you know what I mean). A day delegate will receive 3 classes, cropping space, lunch and evening meal, make and take plus entry into little competitions they have running. Use the contact form on the website to make further enquiries.

Oh I just remembered something exciting I did this afternoon. I booked for belle and I to go to Paris on our own for a few days next month. It was DIRT cheap and the best of it all is that we are staying at the foot of Sacre Coeur - the most amazing sight in Paris (it appeared in the film Amelie....you have to watch that film if you love magic, happiness, whimsical romance, vintagey stuff. Oh and its in french with subtitles so you watch it once to read and watch it again to soak up the imagery). As for Paris in general, you can stuff the Eiffel Tower, Ive been to Blackpool often enough to be fed up of iron erections. As beautiful as the Eiffel is, its just too monstrous to be tenderly adored. I do love the ride around Paris even though they drive worse than the Spanish (we saw two crashes in the space of 3 seconds the last time we were there). But going back to Sacre Coeur, at the top,you can get these amazing crepe suzettes filled with chocolate (ok, Ill be having fruit on my diet) and Ellie is besides herself with glee. Im planning an open top bus ride around all the haunts and hopefully she can help me with the lingo as she is learning French at school. Although, to be fair, when I went to Paris in Oct 2006 the locals were really mean to me when I tried to speak in French. Parisians hate the English but fear not. I am prepared and shall go out armed with a stale baguette and offer a duel to any offending offender.

On a final note from Belle on the phone tonight she said that she was worried I might make her eat frogs legs.
No darling, I soothed, I shall just give you the usual mouse poo and spider juice (her daily attic prison treat).
Delicious.

Bed time.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Mondays are officially plop

As of today I hate Mondays.

They are pointless and ought to be renamed Moanday.

I'm so hot and bothered, Ive drank 15 litres of cold apple juice and I'm still hot.

Eddy has slept most of the day and in between jobs I have fanned him by wafting my skirt over his head.

He has been sick every night (through the night) for a week and we are worried. We have given him new worming tablets tonight to see if that helps if not its back to the vets again.

Anyway, I digressed.

Im not a fan of summer as I am very much an Autumn girl. I like cool weather and I like nips on the cheeks (both sets of cheeks ;)). Although whilst we ought to rejoice in the warmth of summer all I am glad about is light nights and the odd BBQ (loves BBQ food, like... a lot!).

I also went back to a slimming club tonight.

Blech.

I am heavy.

I had to go back and Liz, the club leader was so good to me (I was almost in tears - mainly because they had got in the industrial scales in - just for me. And I thought I might break them. Im kidding about the scales, mind, but its a viable option).

So tonight Mark and I had a blow out on lardy food and tomorrow I shall be virtuous and venture to the gym with a skip in my step knowing that the fridge is laden with strawbs, yogs and ice cold water. I shall lose 2 stone. I shall. I............................... might.

Im not sure a summer diet is easy to stick to as I like soups and baked potatoes in winter. In summer I just want to eat cold food but not always necessarily salad.

God, I'm just destined to be wobbly forever.

And I really am wobbly.

I may have a thin face but I have a seriously enormous rear end, I own 23 bellies and my bra is made from two wedding marquees (one for each cup) with a ships anchor chain for each strap.

Ive had a funny year with my weight.

I lost some and then gained some and then lost lots and then gained lots.

I think being on the road and away from home doesn't help.

I'm gonna shape up and ship out of the land of wobblebot.

Gawd help us.

So on to better things.

Ive got some photies from the weekend at Mums party. It was a BBQ that my father had planned for Mums and his friends and family. The booze was stacked up high and there were 96 bread buns on the go with as many burgers to go with them as well as kebabs, chicken drums, steaks and all the gubbins that goes with it.

And only one glass got broke!I decided not to drink. Im just off alcohol (good thing really as it ruins diets). My sister chose not to drink which meant we could revel in the joy of everyone else's merriment. Becky and I stayed in most of the afternoon as it was scorching and my Belle and her Charlotte wilt in that type of heat. As I was about to go and mingle, this fella walks in the garden and I shout "who the hell is that" to my mum. Turns out its my Great Uncle Bob (Ive only ever met him once before) and the more I looked at him the more I could see my father in him. But then my uncle Johnathon turned up later (dads bro) and we think my brother looks more like him instead of my dad. I tell you, its a funny old world we live in (I shall let YOU decide!).

Johnathon, Bro and DadMy mum and dad don't half thinks its funny that we think like that! And really, my brother is really my brother and not my cousin because my bro is the spit of my dad in his mannerisms.

Later on in the day I put some of my new lipgloss on various members of my family. Its called "Sexy Motherpucker" by a company called Soap and Glory. Fab and vintagey, kitsch and catchy - you will love their packaging. Basically its a lip plumping gloss that stings like hell and feels like you have just been punched in the gob. Its all a bit of fun although I have to say that it doesn't give you a tremendous trout pout.

Me, my sis, my cousin Jess, my cousin Emily and my Auntie Jaq.

By early evening my sweet sister in law, Kerry, sang to us with full emotional power singing (Im amazed by you by Lonestar - click here for a youtube audible blast from the past). She really ought to try for X factor... he he heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I love her!

Talking of music, my sweet mother received a nano iPod, a blaster box to play it through and some wirelass speakers from us all. She really does love her music although she is stuck in a 60's timewarp and by tea time, I was sick of hearing it over and over and over - hence kerry getting in the groove with a bit of stuff we youngsters love. At one point, you know, I had to go into the kitchen and turn off Ruby Murray who Im sure wasn't around when my Momma was born. And there was me thinking that Ruby was a slang name for a curry... I didn't know she was real.

It was a real good day mixing with friends and family. The kids watched movies, the adults fell in ice buckets, sausages got burned to which the dogs had a blast! I snapped various action shots - some that are too alcohol related to show on here but you can guess what I mean (mainly hand motions and flicks). I took this lovely picture of my cousin Marybeth who also had a blast using my camera. She has a natural eye for it and I cannot wait for her and her sister Emily to come and spend two weeks with us next week where I shall teach them a bit about photography.

Isnt she pretty?

Its a pity my poor belle had her eyes closed in almost every shot I took of her so when she comes home this Sunday - I have a little shoot planned with her. Even though I haven't seen her for a week, she sure hasn't half grown up.

Off to bed, Ive got demonic wobble issues to fight with and if I pray hard enough, I might wake up a size zero.

Toodle ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

How funny....

....was Mo on BB9 tonight, eating those chillies?

I swear I gave myself a hernia watching that.

**sigh** - just gettin' over it, actch. Tickled me something rotten, it did!

Ive just been sorting my pics from Mums b'day party yest and had to share this of me and my boy. Mark took a cracking picture of us after we had taken him for a wee trot around the park. This boy coupled with the endless hugs I get from my squishy girl, belle, makes me so, so happy and I think it shows! I can't decide which one of my new actions I like with the image although Im always game for the classic beauty of black and white. Another picture for the album.

Ok, back to the grindstone. Im just putting the finishing touches to a little array of layouts I have made using chipboard from Bubbly Funk. Im besides myself with scrapping glee :)

Sneaks at Studio Calico

Studio Calico's kit this month has been the BEST since I started last October.
Its screams colour, glitz and groovacious patterns. It has bits you will want to buy again and again - they are so usable and indeed a tad delicious.
It is the kit to buy if you want to pep up some summer images and the stamps? OMG... the stamps are generously fabulous.
And don't get me started with the add on's because you will want them all.
Who else gives you the most perfectly co-ordinated kits on this slightly frazzled planet?

Check out Studio Calico's launch at midnight EST or 5am UK time (go on, its bright and summery enough to get up that early. And you might even catch the worm!)

Where there is pain.....

...there is pleasure.

RIP 28-70mm Sigma fat boy

And long live a slightly better if not more perfect 24-85mm.

Thank god for insurance.

Our best friend

Whilst belle is away at my mommas (being spoiled rotten) I have been filling my days with this little dude.
If you do not know the character of a Dachshund, let me tell you this.
They are fiercely loyal to their owners and are territorial in looking after you.
You can leave them for 20 seconds or two days and they greet you with the same enthusiasm - everytime.
They love to stay within touching distance of you (Eddy lives under my skirt as I stand and scrap).
They are loving, gentle creatures and great with kids.
You can't help but adore them even if they eat your shoes.

We took Edds out for a lovely walk tonight. It was a beautiful evening and he loves us both to take him out. He feels like a real show off when we both take him. Infact if one of us take him for a trot, he will refuse to budge! He absolutely loves running through long grass and he jumps like a freaky bunny throughout. As he plummets through the overgrowth, his ears flap like crazy and tongue hangs out of his mouth in sheer excitement. He expects a hug and a cuddle at every trick and submits for a belly rub at every opportunity. We love him so much that he is so spoiled with affection. He knows this and we know this. Its how you should be with your doggies.

I wonder what tricks we will be up to tomorrow.

:( :( :(

All was going well. Perfect, lubbly and happy.

I had secretly sneaked over to my mums house on Monday (2.5 hours drive from here) to meet up with my sister and her two kiddlies (a 2 hour drive for her as well) and dad let us into the house whilst Mum had lunch with her friends. She had no idea we were all going to surprise her on her return and she broke her heart with happiness that we did that! Of course then I get choked up, my sister gets choked up and mums friends ball their eyes out. Then my brother came over later (he had to work but it was 1.5 hours drive for him) and we were altogether and happy and celebratin'.

Like I say all was perfect.

Then my sis went home (cry, cry) and we came back from a restaurant to settle in for the night at Mums.

And I was emptying the car, on my own as everyone had gone in to eat cake.

Then I tripped over.

And in my hands was my prized Macbook Pro and on my arm was my prized D200 complete with my most favvo 28-70mm Lens.

Forget that I was almost dead in the middle of the street.

Oh yeah.

For before my very eyes was the end of my 28-70mm lens life and the beginning of the end of my mac book.

Hmmm, nice wound. I suddenly am catapulted back to being 8 with grazed knees like that. Classy.
Although now it seems the camera is in full working order (it took the following pics) and I am still alive and Mark, Belle and Eddy are healthy so that's all that matters right?

And of course Im insured.

But do you ever wonder where the rewind button is?

And here we are on Weds with a chock block full blogging session about to appear before your very eyes.

**Hang on, let me send the dog out. It smells rather stanky in here. That dog is a danger to the ozone and all my belongings**.

Hmmmm, fresh air and Maya Gold chocolate suddenly replenishes the green mist.

Ahem.

Anyway, I want to take you back to last week and finish off telling you about my trip to London. Id written about Tues and Weds but need to finish Thurs, Fri and Sat.

Thurs 10th

Clare and I woke up for breaky in our fake fabulous hotel. There is one small room appointed for the residents in which to scoff the first meal of the day. To be honest, this room is a bit spesh. It has a rather ornate table with extra groovy ornate chairs to match. There is a beautiful sideboard finished in gilded mouldings and beneath it lies a glass cabinet filled with accompaniments you would expect to line a dining table. It is dated but in a very antiqued fashion and I quite like it. When Clare and I sat down we noticed that amongst the furniture was this rather ugly piece of unfabulous furniture which did not match the decor. It had that fablon style lining and on each shelf were doyleys and a tray of cutlery. We commented on how much it was hurting our eyes. The waitress/porter/clerk/cleaner came to our table and took our order. She asked what would we like for breaky. We had a choice of cereal and toast or cooked breakfast and toast. And cooked breakfast consisted of one egg and one rasher of bacon. Not one to moan (much) I opted for the cooked breakfast because after all I am made out of lard. Whilst the waitress had gone to cook our breakfast, Clare nudged me on the shoulder and pointed in the vicinity of the ugly cupboard.

And we both burst out laughing.

And I mean squealed with laughter (and leaked a little, eeeks).

That ugly cupboard was being lowered through the floor and we then realised that ugly cupboard was actually a incredibly groovacious dumb waiter. And when the cupboard had gone, all that was in its place was some flooring which was the top of the cupboard.

And I didn't take a picture because I was dead on the floor from over laughter.

Then the waitress come cook come prime minister brought our food and she said nobody had laughed at that event before but she was smiling and was probably thinking we were only allowed out from the sanatorium for a week. She tossed her head back and laughed and flicked us a few toffee's to see us through the day.

We took the tube down to Westminster from Sloane Square. It was oh-so-cosmo taking the tube to work. I used to travel by tube to work in 1992 for a while when I lived in Nottinghill. I don't miss the soot up my nose nor the heat of the tube. I certainly do not miss horrible body odour from commuters holding the hand rail nor having my face shoved into some matted beard of a really smelly man.

Wouldn't you agree that there is at least one smelly man on every tube or is it that I attract said smelly man complete with halitosis and BO?

Upon exiting westminster we were met with the sight of the Houses of P. You just can't top that big ben fella with his glorious, proud flanks of amazing architecture. Clare and I stood for a while taking in this wondrous sight as everyone else hopped, skipped and jumped about their daily business.

We got to the QEII centre in good time, unpacked 17,000 boxes and made the table up for the guests to arrive. Clare had designed two lovely cards and we were expecting 200 guests that day and 200 the next. All taking home two mags and £9 worth of products. Every one of our guests thoroughly enjoyed their Design Objectives experience and it was a pleasure to meet them.

That night we bummed around Chelsea harbour and ate out in a fabulous thai restaurant where I tried buffalo (posh beef) and chatted with some great people from Jolly Nation, Personal Impressions and QVC themselves.

It was then back to our fake fabulous hotel for Clare and I and I really couldn't wait to go to breakfast again. Just to laugh my head right off its shoulders.

Friday 11th

The day pretty much went like the day before but with even more lovely guests to share a joke or two with. I even got to meet the mother of Sam Nixon (from The Bill) who is as craft daft as the next man. The end of the day saw us wrap up the show and whilst being at the end of the room next to the Mic's, clare could not resist getting up and having a sing song. i kid you not, the girl has got balls of steel and she had everyone in fits of laughter as she sang "and now, the end is near, and so I face, the final curtain.......". That then ran into a Back street Boys track I can't recall but by then I was gasping for air from laughing so hard. She is so much fun to be around. I love working with her.

Of course we had to celebrate the end of a good show with a few drinkie-poo's so it was over to the nearest "pab" as they say in Landan. Ooooh did I get a little bit wasted or what? We spent most of the night with Dawn and JJ and some darling girls from QVC. It got to about 10 and we had not even had tea so we scurried over to Drury Lane to this amazing and I mean amazing and I don't lie about this kind of stuff restaurant. I have never been anywhere so theatrical, fabulous, cosy, enlightening and superb. Its a Turkish restaurant that's all close and cosy. There are little wells filled with tables and cushions and above those wells are mezzanine turrets with more tables and cushions. Its the most spectacular place I have ever sat in. The food was not completely fabulous but it was just so fun to sit quite intimately and casually around the most groovacious table ever. Wine and conversation flowed and it was one of those evening where you just don't want it to end. But of course they do. Anyway, Its called Sarasota's on Drury Lane. Go there and be happy :)

So it was back to our fake fabulous hotel for one more night and I did not want to get up at 5.30am to get the train to Kettering to work in a shop all day demoing. the though filled me with dread because I was knackered.

Saturday 12th

Had to skip our breakfast due to catching the train at the crack.

It left at 6.30am prompt and I was prepared to get an hours shut eye on the train before Traci picked me up and whisked me off to Prima Crafts in Warwick. Two seriously grumpy guys got into a kerfuffle on the train and I stood up between them (bold as brass but secretly crapping my pants) and asked them to not be so aggressive. They could see the fear in my eyes and they took their argument on the platform where they were arrested shortly after by the transport police. It got nasty, shall we say. I mean what could I do, a girl has got to catch up on her beauty sleep. I wasn't about to let two guys fighting over luggage space ruin my zzzzzzzzzzzz's.

Traci met me at the station with a lubbly coffee and we set sail for Warwick. I wondered how I would manage to stay awake. But you know, when I got there and freshened up and slapped a bit of mazzy on, it was all systems go. I am so pleased that the shop had a record selling day running out of Flocking and Big Bytes. The shop owner, Emma, really enjoyed the demo and I enjoyed being in the company of Rosie and Hannah who kept filling me up with conversation and cake. It was a fabulous little shop with the nicest of shopkeepers and customers. I'm so glad I went and I wouldn't have swapped it for anything.

Traci then picked me up and took me to her house where I went to another Thai restaurant with her daughter too. Traci is such a delight to be around and I couldn't have asked for more perfect days than these. Except of course when I flamin fall over and smash all my bones and belongings.

Pappa poo pants :(

Anyway, Friday (just gone) and QVC.

Holy shag bags, I had the train journey from hell.

My train was due to arrive at 12.30 which meant I had 1.5 hours to luxuriate in the smog of Landan.

I took my phone to be charged on the train (you know, they have sockets!!!!) but when I sat down and took out my charger it turned out to be my old charger for my old phone.

Pants.

And my phone was dead.

And the train was already an hour late arriving which meant I had half an hours grace to get to Chelsea Bridge from Euston upon arrival in Landan.

Fine, I thought.

I had a tube ticket prepaid to ease the speed.

Wrong.

Speed is not a word Virgin understand.

God bless him but Richard Branson has not got a scooby on what its like being a third rate passenger on what is commonly known as the Pandolina service (meant to be very very fast). Except I think it was called "Piss-about-ina" that day.

Every conceivable thing that could go wrong on a journey, did.

We ended up skirting round the midlands to avoid a points issue and there was me, frantic and trying to cope with this guy who was complaining most audibly.

"I wanted to get the carriage that had one man on it and then he had to be asleep" he said.

"Yup, and I bet you also wanted a gold encrusted seat complete with a personal masseuse too - on a Friday. Aint happening babe." I thought.

Then he huffed and puffed when a baby started crying.

And inwardly I started crying.

I was going to be very very late.

Had I of known morse code I could have sent kinetic signals to QVC or indeed tied a note to a carrier pigeon to fly direct and deliver my "please excuse me".

The guy sat opposite, who I thought was Irish and turned out to be Canadian (who had just spent two weeks in Ireland and had lost his accent so quick....random) offered me his phone to call my hubs. Only his phone was still connected to Canada and I had to fathom how to call the Uk from his phone even though I was in the UK. V. Weird indeed.

I rang mark to call every one at QVC, even the porters, cleaners and key grip guy (I love the term Key Grip. No idea what it entails but I think i want to do Key Grip and see my name on rolling credits at the end of a film). Mark duly rang everyone to tell them i was going to be horrendously late thanks to Richard Bransons major branded company being a complete failure.

I ought to have known booking a virgin train was trouble. The reason why I know this is that when Ellie was conceived, she indeed was conceived through the failure of a Mates condom (also made by Virgin...... condoms by virgin - how frikkin funny is that?)

I know that is TMI but there you go - trivia is power.

Not that Ellie is a failure, mind.

God no.

She is a major success in my eyes.

But still..

Mark does all the PA stuff and QVC and Dawn know I am late and v. peed off about it.

I listen to gold encrusted guy moaning about the air quality on the train, I listen to Irish Canadian guy talking about his life (He was, to be fair, a great guy but I was seeing red throughout the rest of the train journey and I was desperate for a wee and the train lavvies are hardly hygienic, even after a good bleaching).

So we arrive ten thousand years late and I hail a cab. I lift up my arm and rain clouds of sweat pour from the anxiety of it all. Cab driver whisks me to QVC and dons his gas mask. And chunders on about all the famous people he has had in his cab but to be fair I did ask him the question and the most famous people he had in his cab was Guy and Madonna - and even then he said they were arguing. No shocks there then, Heat magazine clearly write the truth!

16 sheets later and Im in QVC and in the green room waiting to be called forward. This woman comes over to me, a little wisp of a lady she was and asks am I the make up artist.

No I am not. For I am a scrapbooker. Why, even a life artist (he he heeeeeeeeee).

This lil wisp was Lulu Guinness as she introduces herself to me.

I have heard of her before in Heat magazine (the mecca of all juicy goss and all things spangly). I explain I knew of her name. And she casts a glance over at my handbag and my bag is only a little carry tote and is not strikingly fabulous so therefore she has inwardly labelled me as a loser. I could see the glint of disdain in her eye over the shock of her ruby red lippy.

She only makes v. expensive bags and is showcasing them later that night on telly.

They all sell out in 25 minutes.

400 sheets a piece some of them.

And she didn't offer me one although I think she ought to have for mistaking me for a make up artist. That's sue-able in my eyes and only comforted by a very expensive bag in all honesty.

Didn't happen though.

Liked her bags and loved her uber cool presence.

Sniff sniff.

So anyway.

I get called up for my screen test.

Im quite composed at this stage but inwardly shagged off that I was late.

And it was noted that I was late.

Although they knew I was gonna be late.

So Anthony is my presenter and I get miked up.

The young guy (miking me) practically fainted at the prospect of shoving his hand up my top to feed the mike through had his eyes bulging to the sound of claxons. Classy but cute, I think. I offer to do it myself. It is, after all, a tricky business to get that mike into po-zish.

And they run VT and Im being talked to like they do on the telly!

"Look mum, its me....." I think to myself.

And I manage to get through it using words I normally tongue tie over.

And I am a little nervous but not overly cacking it.

I am displaying Basic Grey layouts from a made up kit to look like I was supposed to be helping to sell it.

It all goes well.

I don't die.

I don't eff it up.

But my cheeks start to burn although I do think it was from relief.

And then it all ends.

And I get the feedback from the gallery saying "a-ok".

And they present me with a copy of the VT.

(watched it later that night and as a result its nil by mouth forever. The camera is not forgiving infact its a nasty little sod and it adds a million pounds although my skin looked fabulous. Have to say that QVC is not HD but will be soon so then my skin will look relatively cack).

Afterwards I meet Clare who had previously had her screen test and successfully passed.

And then we hail a cab to Harrods to meet Dawn and JJ for a celebratory coyk and then back to QVC to help set up craft hour and watch a live show.

God did we have such a scream doing that. We had approximately 45 seconds to whip up 10 cards although really we had longer but it felt like it. I got to play with the melt pot which I LOVED IMMEDIATELY and would so use again. We also got to go to the gallery to see how everything comes together and I was fascinated. You can see how many callers were ringing and how fast the products sell out which they mostly do. Dawns show is a very popular show and she has an army of crafters who just adore their craft. Horses for courses and judgling by the massive cardstock pack at the begining of the show, Im not suprised those little gems sold out.

After the show we went out for a lovely meal on Fulham road then back to our hotel to watch the VT on our complimentry Mac computers in the room (tres swish). I can totally recommend the City Inn at westminster for a night in London.

The next day Clare and I lounged in our room and woke up looking incredibly stunning for our jaunt around Covent garden. As well pulled up to a nice little eatery I saw JK Rowling at a table near by and almost died on the spot. She is just such a heroine to all her readers, more than Harry Potter himself. I admire her and the need for privacy so we didnt bother her whilst she was eating lunch. I did take a picture of her from afar (ive masked out the face of her daughter here) and whilst it was tempting to flog the picture to Heat magazine for like 16 million pounds, I thought better of it.

Clare has "chipped teeth!".

And lastly.

My man.

The hunter gatherer.

In pink.

Started his new job on Monday.

Hooray.

Its just me and the dog from now on at home all day.

Belle is my Mommas for two weeks then her nanna's for one week.

Time to do some much catching uppy.

The end.

For Mum

My lubbly Momma is 60 today.

and I absolutely cannot wait for her party on Saturday so I can see if she looks like your average pensioner! I know she reads my blog every day so I wanted her to wake up with a mahoosive greeting.

Have a great day me old china and I'll ring you tomorrow afternoon xx

I can't cope

Ive just noticed that BG have released 5 collections.

FIVE?

Swoon.

After severely licking the screen for a coupla minutes (and suffering with static shock in the process) I was overcome with emotion.
Seriously, I only thought they were bringing out Euphoria.
Shows how much I know about anything and that is clearly not enough!
Im sure most of you know that they had 5 newbies but I have been a little pre-occupied these last few weeks to even care about new CHA releases.

As this is a fleeting blogpost I just wanted to tell you that both Clare and I passed our screen test for QVC on Friday. Don't ask how I managed to stop myself from crumbling (considering I was under the most darkest spells cast at me that day due to VIRGIN CRAP TRAVEL) but I got through it. Afterwards we met Dawn and JJ who were preparing for a 2 hour craft show that night and Dawn very kindly they asked us to stick around to watch. Unbeknown to us the camera panned around on Clare and I mid show. I had no flaming idea that was going to happen and all I could manage was a wave and then I subsequently died.

Im going to upload all my pictures later but I felt quite the urge to pronounce my love for the new BG. God bless her and all who scrap with her.

Online, delivered

Last year I mentioned that I was going to start an online class understanding the principles of design. Well, clearly, that never started because time was not on my side and it never seems to be neither.

BUT.

I have been badgered into considering it again and thus forcing myself to make time (= lose sleep....hee hee).

Seriously though, its a class concept that brings art, in all forms, together; with scrap booking, cardmaking and photography being the three main interests I love.

Although design principles have been around for centuries and used by great people such as Archimedes to Monet to Michaelangelo to Brunel to Hollywood, design principles are used to bring focus and detail with balance. It allows you give weight to your scrapping/cardmaking/photography. They are proven theories that are the base coat to all pleasing pieces of art/architecture/photography.

And I'd like to share those with you - to help you understand how you can trust white space, balance and detail. I don't claim to be the font of all knowledge but I do understand these principles completely and this is why I find photography and scrap booking so enjoyable.

Simply entitled Principles, I will be starting an online course coupled with input from two of my favourite photographers and Scrap bookers - Anita Mundt and Mary-Ann Hawes. They will also provide input into these theories too.

The course will be delivered to your inbox every Sunday including images of scrap pages, cards and photographs using the topical principle subject for that week plus a link to a private forum to discuss the ins and outs and share information if you need help.

This course will be your bible to understanding design principles such as:

* Rule of Thirds

* Continuance

* Radial symmetry

* Asymmetry

The 6 week course is an investment priced at £20.

If you wish to register an interest, please email me here.

I will then contact you accordingly.

**I leave tomorrow for London. I finally have my screen test with QVC for Design Objectives. I am not as nervous as I thought I might be but then Dawn did give me some majorly expert advice about not swearing/saying "erm"/moving fast/burping etc. Clare and I have plans for wasting time doing this and that and luckily we have been invited to watch a live show on the Friday night. Fingers crossed the camera does not pan on to either of us becuase I might just break out into song and wave to my mum!

I just can't get enough

......of these flower shapes (you can download a template of it in a few posts below this one).

Will I ever get sick of flowers?

No.

Will you get sick of flowers?

Probably.

My pages, my flowers, my girl.

Happy bunny, me.

This was made for a challenge over at Creativity Life (although its not yet appeared there so you can see it here in the mean time). I love BG Sultry rub on's, they fill a little corner for next to no money and of course making the most of core'dinations cardstock for accents makes this a relatively cheapo page to make. And also lots of left overs for many more layouts.

Ive also made a few more layouts on the ideas gallery if you wanna have a peek over here. A case of severe BG overload although I am loving every inch of it :)

And today I had a lovely visitor. Whilst mark spent 5 hours trying to install a new router (don't ask, cos he is in one hell of a crap mood right now!), I entertained my old sergeant from my RAF days. Lee is one of my treasured colleagues from, dare I say, it 16 years ago.

Holy crap, that sounds ridiculous.

Im too young to be able to have freinds from that long ago.

Say its not true.

I just love her even though she made my life hell at times (she knows this and we do laugh about it, erm - NOW!). That's the thing about forces life; the respect you show for your superiors really does have an effect on friendship in later life. I completely respect and admire her as much now as I did then. She came armed with the BEST Indian food which she makes from scratch including her special tandoori paste for our tea tonight. She also brought Belle her favourite potato Far Far's of which was immediately cooked upon their departure. In return for our tea I made her a few cards to take back and we all played in my room and got crafty.

I wanted so badly to take a photo of her because the last one I got was at my wedding 13 years ago and of course she could have a copy too out of the bargain. And there is no pretence in the integrity of that hug. Lee ADORES her daughter Victoria who she has brought up with impeccable manners.My old sergeant is still the old Lee who I loved/cursed on a daily basis and with that great lady what you see is what you get... and I love there is no messing with her! She tells it like it is and more! It makes me laugh to think she is so feisty and yet so lovely. I love to hear about her lovely family of whom she is close to all her sisters and their religion which totally inspires me. I think Hinduism is the most happiest religion on this planet but then that is down to a matter of choice and belief.

It broke my heart when she left but I'm certain we are going to catch up again in August.

I love bullet points

* They are short, concise and straight to the point

* They help shortlist a big list and saves time and energy

* They looks purdy

* I was going to bullet point this entry but in the end, it turned out to be a short excerpt from War and Peace.

From the moment I left home last Tues to the day I got back (yest) a ton of things happened. 99% of the stuff that did happen was lovely. There were no plans of sorts, just a suck it and see type of scenario. I can only but semi bullet the events and I would hate to not catalogue them because I don't want to forget. I see this blog as a blessing as being my online, digital scrapbook. I just clicked back to this time last year and it was an emotional time for belle and I. How weird that yesterday echoed similar feelings.

Hey ho.

Tues

I tootled down to Traci's house in Thrapston by car. Its a 2.5 hour journey and I listened to Coldplay all the way there. I was that engrossed I ended up in Graffam Water which was waaaaay past where I needed to turn off. But I got to her house eventch and we picked up where we left off. Because that's what friends do. And I love her so much because she is so energetic and fun. But I worry about her because she works so hard and absolutely does not get the recognition she deserves. I feel that one day she will :)

All good things.........................

Weds

I caught the train from Kettering to Landan Tarn. I literally got to the station with moments to spare. As I went to pay for my tickets we heard an announcement over the tannoy to explain that my train was running 29 minutes late. Mmmm, what a shocker! So Traci and I decided to take it easy to my platform. And we looked over at my platform and there was a train sat right there. And it was my train. Because East Midlands Trains announcers are great fat liars, it seems. So we ran like hell fire up the stairs, over the bridge and down the stairs. But it all felt like slow motion and I could feel myself shouting "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" (like they do in movies in really really really slow motion). My arm reached out to touch the train because it was right there. It had to wait for me. I needed that train. B*asts. The doors closed just as I approached it and the sniggering guard almost got a thump on the nose for his piggerness.

Dammit.

My legs were like jelly and I knew that my train ticket was invalid now because that train was reserved for my ass. What I had to do was pray that the next train would be conductor free and that i could snag a free ride, in effect.

And it was. . How I prayed to the lord for that nugget of good luckness.

And the best thing was I talked to this amazing woman all the way to St Pancras.

I hate to boast but I always meet the best people on a train.

I love to talk and share views and opinions with complete strangers.

It turns out she is a yoga therapist en route to San Francisco and who lives in a converted factory - all open plan and super duper. I just wanted to be her - she was that fantastic.

So anyway.

St Pancras is a bit special.

All new and shiny and full of the most fabulous boutiques and shops.

But I couldn't stay.

I had to head to my fake fabulous hotel which stood tall and proud in one of the most poshest parts of London.

Eaton Gate stands between Sloane square and Eaton Park (quite very near Buck house).

I hailed a cab from Sloane Square tube and asked him to wizz me to my fake fabulous hotel. He asked if I was sure and I was like "yes, for I am important and in London". Everyone knows that when you are in London you are important.

There is an air of mystery about oneself when one is in London.

And I was wearing a suit jacket so therefore I could have been an executive from Coutts Bank or even a super model (obviously one that wears a fat suit to hide her thin frame).

But he had the last laugh as I was in the taxi for approximately 3 seconds because our fake fabulous hotel was literally 3 seconds from Sloane Square.

No matter, I chucked him a tip for being the usual cheeky chappy taxi driver whom I did not get to ask if he had been busy or indeed near the end of his shift. And whenever I am in London and of course being important, I like to ask if the taxi driver uses the term "Cor Lummy". But that joke is between my sister and I. Although to be fair one taxi driver once said, in response to that "Ere, do you think my name is Dick Van Dyke?". Oh, how my sister and I laughed for days.

So I haul my luggage up the fake fabulous hotel steps and ring the bell. A polish girl answers the door and says "Yeeeeeeeeeeeees".

Holy crap, is this really a fake fabulous hotel or the hammer house of horrors?

I explained I was booked in and she allowed me to enter. I had to fill in forms and then she took me up a rickety lift from the golden ages to my room on the top floor. Oh how I was dying to have a shower and cup of tea on my arrival. But Hmmm, no kettle and no electricity. Well, there was a Tv but even that was attached to a dymo machine and 15 rats were running on a miniature conveyor belt to help fire it up. One had the feeling one was not important anymore but cinder-freakin-ella.

Note our decadent polystyrene ceiling tiles complete with stains and dust? Try not to envy my grey (once white) canopy above the bed and in the reflection of my mirrored wardrobe doors, a quaint little picture of a dufex based swiss cottage on the side of a mountain.

Clare and I loved the random pieces of wood strewn about the room and bathroom.

I was impressed with the stain effect wall paper they had. But you have to laugh, our fake fabulous hotel was just hilarious!

The room was a trifle stifled so I whipped off my skirt to aerate before I took a little lie down on the bed. I decided to open the window which was knee high and thought "hmmm, I'm on the top floor, nobody is going to notice me opening a window in just my t shirt and grundies".

Wrong.

Our fake fabulous hotel was right opposite probably the most poshest private school in the entire world and quite possibly one of those poor kids got to see my hideous behind. Charming thought, really. So anyway, I took a little lay on the bed and rang Clare who actually was already there and right next door. And she presents me with a lovely card and some delish wrapping paper from Paperchase. I know you know how much that means to me. Paperchase sell the best wrapping paper of which I covet and adore from a distance.

We chatted and then got ready for the Lanesborough Afternoon Tea date we had. We took a taxi to be met with men in grey top hats and tails who escorted us out of our hackney into the poshest hotel ever. Apparently its the only hotel that Madonna uses but then why would she, she lives in London. Perhaps she goes there if she has had a little fall out with Guy. Or maybe she uses it because she is mega loaded and can afford the measly £7500 a night suites. Hells bells. I could buy a car with that. Or 10,000 sheets of Basic Grey. Hmmmmmm.

So we walk in and are seated and look at the menu and decide to order the champagne menu which includes strawbs and cream as well as champagne and finger butties and coyks (coyks are cakes but said in a cockney accent). And we thought we would be brilliant and order the Lanesboroughs special blend tea which tasted bloody awful in all honesty. But the coyks were scrumpsh even though this one looked like it was grown in a nuclear processing plant - is anything naturally that green?

And you see the cake on the top tier with gold leaf? Well we didn't know if you ought to have eaten it or not but we did and we are still here to tell the tale. It tasted a bit icky, if the truth be told.We even had a coyk that was minty fresh (its tucked behind the illuminous green number). Now, when you eat things that are minty they taste like a sweetened mint. But god no. Not this little bugger. It tasted like you had just put real fresh peppermint leaf in your mouth combined with a biscuity base and a cream paste that again, tasted really proper minty. Both Clare and I gagged and would have even accepted some Colgate on a rich tea biscuit in lieu of. That little treat is something you ought to serve to your mother in law. Its best avoided if one is to venture there, quite by our recommendation of course. And then when we had polished off the entire three tiers of lard, out came crumpets and scones. Ive never eaten cold crumpets before but I managed to stuff it on whole with raspberry jam.

Clare and I pretended to be kajillionaires by crooking our fingers and gently wiping the corners of our mouths between bites (I even, at one point and even only for a milli second, lifted my nose in the air (as in being posh and also to see if the air smelled sweeter when you did). But it didn't. And Clare only ruined it by passing me a tissue saying that there were some nasties up there that needed evacuating). We scanned the room and dissected each guest there wondering what kind of person they would be and would they be common northerners like us. Beneath where we situated was an Arab family. We had exchanged pleasant smiles throughout our stay and we decided they were royalty and we were probably right when their platinum Amex card was flashed when they paid their bill. Our whole reality was smacked right in the face when Clare replicated their payment method. Only because it just didn't have the desired effect of flashyness when she presented her Abbey National Visa card. In fact, it signalled the end of our "lady what lunches" pretence. But we shall never forget the entire experience for as long as there is Coyk.

Just as we were about to Leave, Dawn and JJ arrived and we went to sit in the Lanesboroughs uber posh bar that can only be described as a red leathered gentlemans room. It was so posh that the free nibbles they served were displayed on a real silver, three tiered miniature cake stand. They invited us to drink some pink champagne and it rounded off our afternoon a real treat. For the record, these two people are generous beyond a fault and are two of the most nicest people in the crafting industry to enjoy time (and mucky jokes) with.

We all then took a trip to Harrods - come on, the sales were on!

We eventually ended up in the perfumery where this incredibly fabulous guy wafted and spritzed us and gave us all our own personal smellometer test. This helped determine our likes and dislikes of sweet/flowery/herby/mechanical grease perfumes. The whole time we were there he gave us the most bizarre rendition of his personal life coupled with his perfume genius. I was just agog. I mean, like - eyes popping right out of their shell. I just wanted to pick him up and put him in my pocket. My regret is that I didn't take a picture of him. But he had done his job properly as I ended up buying some rather deeeelish perfume by Herve Leger. Its a bit gorgeous. Clare bought one of my all time favourite perfumes - Shalimar by Guerlain. Its a classic, die hard perfume and everyone always asks me what I'm wearing when I wear it.

We rounded the day off by struggling with hotel envy at Dawns hotel and a burger supper. I couldn't possibly divulge Clares magic knickers story but let me tell you this. I am permanently damaged through bladder dysfunction from too much laughter. Seriously, who performs surgery on bladder problems on the black market (you know how much I despise the NHS).

It was then back to our fake fabulous hotel and feel our way in the dark through lack of electricity and up early for the day at QVC's Make and Take event at the QEII centre at Westminster.

You will have to wait for the next installment because the skin on my finger tips are bleeding from all this typing.

I got over it

The moment has passed now.

Thanks for hearing me out.

Just a bad day from the start I guess.

Although, to be fair, I did have a couple of happy injections including a call from Dyan who I do not get to speak to a great deal as she is majestically being brilliant every day. That was the call of the century that I got from her today. She is the undo-er of all evil and the spreader of all inspiration. We all have a creative godess we look up to and she is her.

We also got Ellies school report today.

And whilst the state can't make their minds up about just how dark the grey area she falls into, it's her teachers that colour our world. You see, Ellie works to a very low level and that's not so "cool" for her age. But that does not matter. I struggled majorly at school and if its wasn't for the wisdom and charm of my wonderful English teacher who saw magic in my imagination, I would have slinked into obscurity.

Anyway.

On every single page, each teacher delighted in portions of Ellies best work and concluded that she always tries her hardest and is the most polite and well behaved child in the whole class - in every class.

So you see, that report undid the anger in roughly 5 minutes flat.

And the wound in my chest is gone because my little heart is beating in the most flutteriest of manners - like any proud Momma.

And I have little stinging tears in my eyes again because little belle is such a fighter and that takes precedence over any medical hardships, doesn't it?

And my favourite comment from her Geography teacher goes on to explain that Ellie is more concerned, at times, for the welfare of others and is often going up to other children to see how they are feeling. Sniff sniff.

I wonder if she picked that up from me?

I always want other people to have a good time and know they are well. It sets the mood for the day as other peoples behaviour affects my behaviour. I like to think its a good trait.

Here are some pictures I took last week as she completed her homework in my office. Her handwriting is pretty poor but the teachers can read it much better now. And yes, the ruby rose bud lips are on fine form and lucky me - I get to pucker up to those little sugary suckers every single day.

Sweet.

Its all or nothing in this house

Im home.
Dog went mental.
Loved it!
Then Ellie came home.
And she went mental.
Loved it!
Between being licked to death by Eddy the mad "I chew absolutely everything" dachshund and Belle getting in from School I opened a letter addressed to Mark and I.
It was from the Doctor (in Wigan) who told me in January that, with Belle - "what you see is what you get".
That drove me beserk.
Infact I almost had a bloody breakdown.
Anyway, this new letter (from the Doctor in Wigan) was in response to a heart appointment we had in Alderhey a few weeks back and even that appointment was in response to the excellent care we received in the US.
And this Doctor (in Wigan) now sends us an email and claims he thinks Ellie has symptoms of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type 6.
So you can imagine that I run straight to the PC and look it up. And classic signs of this is a prolapsed mitric valve (which she has) and other stuff (which she has).
Now I don't actually think for sure she has it because, as you know, we have been fed a lot of bull over the last 12 years. But Im losing the ability to take my next breath because Im just about sick and fed up of it all.
I really am.
As I am typing now my eyes are just about to lose their vision through tears and Ive got that pain in my chest where it feels like a nuclear bomb has exploded and subsequently ripped out my heart.
You really would think I'd be jumping for joy, though, wouldn't you?
But I am not.
I just can't believe this doctor wrote us off in January and then, on the strength of the hard work the US doctors put into researching Ellies problems, he types a letter as nice as you like and mask himself as being the saviour to the whole story.
Am I wrong to think like this?
Perhaps 12 years of faffing about has just pushed me over the bloody edge.

No matter what.
Belle is Belle and we know and love her as our extraordinary little girl who fills us up with so much emotion and love. Its incredibly difficult to convey just the right words that would convince you of how much we adore that little creature. So regardless of whether she has a syndrome or not - that kid has been put on this earth for a reason and soon enough even you will understand that too.

Summer fields

Ive been taken with all the rapeseed, barley and corn fields lately so I offered to take pictures of Traci and Kiesha as payment for free board and lodgings - hoping there would be a lovely field to take snaps near their home.
But Traci had a better idea.
She took me to a poppy peppered field roughly two minutes drive away (also a place to endure severe hay fever and black mite overload!).
I could not believe my eyes.
The field was literally crimson and my camera almost jumped out of my hands to take its own pictures.

Instead of heading home this evening, I decided to stay an extra night. I figured Traci needed to take some time out because she works like buggery and never stops thinking/doing stuff/being excited (pick one!). She is constantly beavering away to make her business a success and is persistently thinking of exciting ideas to keep the credit crunching world of crafters more eager to feel inspired. I set aside some time to give both Traci and Kiesha a facial massage (I was trained to do this a loooooong time ago whilst working for Virgin Vie.) and it was a gift I could provide that not only costs a couple of squirts of cleanser and moisturiser but also a feeling humble happiness. Couple that with some summery poppy infused photos they gots a day full of wonderful memories.
And my hands feel especially moisturised too :)

Im not kidding - the field was really this red!
And there was a major scattering of these handsome fellas, too!
Traci and Kiesha are such a close set of buddies.


I love natural giggling - even if the subject looks away to mum for re-assurance!Traci snapping in all that redness....... I love this shot!
Traci likes to colour her hair in some pretty WILD shades. She is currently purple but has been notably fuschia in the past!



We fashioned a crown of poppies for artistic (or perhaps photography) effect. Kiesha was flagging at this point and that little crown was starting to itch. So to gain extra snapping time we discussed Frankie - her current love. Can you see how fantastic that smile is? That is purely down to Frankie! Swit swoo.
And then Kiesha, in her infinite "daughter-of-a-scrapbooker" wisdom offered to shake those darn poppies out of her hair. I mean, who is going to say no?
Im kind of glad I didn't go home now and besides, after the mammoth Sunday roast that Traci served up, i think my car would have collapsed.

Demo layouts

Ive kept meaning to upload these layouts from the weekend at Capture the Magic (last week).
Time has not been a good friend to me over the past 7 days and access to a pooter has almost seen me off. Keeping up with emails is something I try so hard to do and if I miss any important freelance work emails or urgent messages from friends and family, then that makes me feel v. sad.
So before I let rip into the last few days spent at QVC (and let me tell you, it was an absolute scream) I shall share these lil pretties and then make way for an epic blog entry this evening. Im currently at Traci's house in Thrapston and missing my guys who are spending a few days in North Wales. Ive missed witnessing Eddy's first time at the beach and spending precious time with them too. Seeing some of these pictures warms the cockles of me 'eart. I can't wait for tonight to zoom up the M1/A50/M6 to go and hug them all to death.















Toodle oooooooooooo

We're going to London

....... to buy a heat magazine.
I just can't stop singing that stupid song.

Nipping on the computer between sittings to just wave hello. I have just about got over the gut bucket overload of Afternoon Tea at the Lanesborough. It was completely worth the money for the experience and to round it off, we upped our game and bought the Champagne menu to include one glass of fizz and some strawbs and cream.

I would have liked to have kept my blog up to date but our hotel is somewhat prehistoric and doesn't have electricity. The conference centre that booked our hotel have clearly no idea of the way a "lady what lunches" likes her room. Hair and dust free would be nice.

Never mind, clean sheets was the award winning factor and to be honest we have not had the time to absorb ourselves in the antiquity of it all.

Back to work.....we have have around 220 women absolutely desperate to make a few cards and have a bit of a sing song on the way.

Poo

Claridges clearly think I am the skank of the earth and has advised me that I must book at least 6 weeks in advance to even be considered for a reservation. It must have been my northern accent that blew my cover.
The Ritz never answer their phone.
The Savoy is closed for refurb.
The Connaught has gone down the dogs.
But we have got a booking at the Lanesborough (The armpit of all swanky afternoon teas however it IS tres posh).
Ive got my hiking boots to scale the three tie cake stand and a doggy bag to take my left overs in.
Quite possibly I might turn on the plummy accent and ask for a delicious cup of tea as opposed to shouting at the waitress "Ey up Lass, get bleeding t'kettle on and don't spare the flamin 'orses".

Turning Japanese

Hi-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Pow.

Jab.

Praying Mantis.

Standing cow (or is that just me?)

Whatever.

Kungfu Panda was funny.

Not hilarious, mind, but funny.

We took belle to see it last night.

She has been waiting WEEKS to see it and she just loved it.

So much so that she came bounding out of the cinema with a skip in her step.

It was worth £18 for three of us to go and see it.

(£18................... extortion!)

As part of my stint in all things cultural, I made this card for last months Studio Calico DT. In the kit you receive this lush Japanese paper to scrap with. Only I thought I'd make a card instead. I cut the shape myself and thought you might like a template to replicate it, should your desire to do so be quite urgent.

If you want to snag the download - click HERE

On another note....... do try and pray or indeed send some extra time to me, please. Ive got 4 hundrety million and one things to do before I go down to London for few days with Clare. Both of us are representing DO at a QVC Make and Take event for special guests. En route I'm going to stay with my lovely friend Traci (you know, the girl with the mad pink hair) and then onwards to Landan Tarn (innit?) to meet up with Clare at our completely 1980's Laura Ashley-esque hotel in Sloane Square. We do have a treat semi planned so fingers crossed that we are accepted for a reservation at Claridges for afternoon tea on weds. Its been something I have wanted to do for, like, EVER. For years Ive dreamt of sipping tea with my pinky all crooked, having palpitations because I can't decide which finger sandwich to devour and then struggle to climb the cake stand (a three tier cake stand - Lord Almighty!!!). And then have the audacity to discreetly break wind and blame it on the nearest Aspidistra (posh and swanky joints like that always have a smelly, stinky soil potted Asp, don't they?). What a hoot!

And Clare is the person to go with so that we will be ladies what lunch in our fake finery of Primark specials and jewels we won in a Christmas cracker. You know, they have 20 different types of tea to choose from let alone all of those cakes that will ultimately end up on my thighs? And seeing as I worked very hard last month, my thighs deserve some more wobbles for the trouble. Clare and I then venture down to London again, next week, for a screen test for QVC. DO will be holding an hour special on their latest products and both Clare and I will be working with a QVC presenter sometime in Sept (if I don't fail my screen test of course. I guess they need to assess that I don't have tourettes ( sh*t, ......dammit - failed already!!!) or a nervous twitch that would cause me to stab the camera man with my x-cut knife). If ever I needed a serious boot up the botty for shedding excess poundage - its that.

Is anyone in receipt of facts with regards to discount liposuction? I will pay in white outline stickers. Like, in abundance.

Loooooooooooooooooooooooong drive

It took me a looooooooooooooong time to get to Capture the Magic for a demo yest.
I'd been looking forward to it for a while now and couldn't wait to share some ideas with Doodlebug flocking, the Big Byte, Prima Paintables, Core'dinations, Urban Lilly and all sorts about cuttlebug embossing folders.
As I drove down I pictured what Vicky's warehouse would look like. I just kind of imagined that because she is primarily an online shop that her unit would be all shelves and racking and a few stacks of papers.. after all, online shopping needn't look like a LCS/LSS.
WRONG.
It is the most massivest, most gi-huge scrapshop I have ever been to in my life.
Even bigger than the scrap section of Michaels in the US.
You should book a coach trip there with your cropping buddies.
I was gobsmacked by its enormity.
LOOK:
And then I had to get down to demoing!
I met some especially nice people including Vicky's staff (Kerry and two other girls who's names completely escape me but they were just the most accommodating of ladies and looked after my sugar intake!). I also met Lesley and Lynn whose company made me feel so more relaxed than I thought I was going to be. I even got to read the new Creativity Life magazine whilst there. I haven't had a copy at all so you can imagine I was dying to see the work contributed by some of my freinds. Its a cracking lil mag.
It really was a super duper pooper scooper of a day that resulted in spending (of course).
I promised some of the shoppers that I would post a download here of a shape they were taken with. I have overused this flower a million times recently and I thought I'd offer it as a template to cut out and use on your cardscraps. You can grab it here
Using Core'dinations card stock, I cut some flowers out and run them through a cuttlebug using some cuttlebug embossing templates (YUM!)I then sanded them to reveal the tonal colour core.Then I scored each petal and folded the score lines to give the flower more depth.You can try scrunching the flower too and leave it like that orYou can score the petals again to give the flower some ooomf!And then you can make a little card or add to a layout. Here I have used Secret Garden papers from papermania. Ive got quite a penchant for green right now. You would never guess, would you? Ive made some cards today using a coupla punches that I bought from Vicky's shop too. I have a passion for Mcgill punches and Vicky has a new batch of them in so I bought these two:
The papers are from the new Papermania Christmas line (which don't look christmassy in this picture because that's the beauty of their new line..... it can be used throughout the year for non holiday style cards). They are utterly delish.
For the centre of the flowers, I dabbed some 3d pop dots into Doodlebug flocking. Strokably divine but be warned....it gets right up your nostrils! **noted that little nugget when I blew my nose later in the day and pink fluff was all over my tissue! - mmmm, altered snot. Classy** I also did a photo shoot whilst I was there.
Jo is a girl I met last year on a photography training day and whose personality is simply calming and lovely. She brought her partner along and also this incredibly delicious creature here, Charlotte.
I swear that every time I take pictures of children, they grow especially more adorable every time. And although Charlotte despised the very black of my dull looking camera to start with, we were best friends by the end of it. She is absolutely if not heartbreaking-ly beautiful.

Been busy

I have made a LOT of layouts and cards this week.
At first I was really hacked off with the amazing amount of short deadlines but Ive managed to nip things in the bud and met them by the skin of my teeth. Some of the projects are for the new Creativity Life Mag website and some for Vicky to demonstrate with at Capture the Magic (tomorrow).
They are only sneaks for now (its not fair on Vicky showing the whole works until Ive finished the demo). Ive worked with a shed load of Urban Lilly each of which has been the best paper to work with as well as Kelly Panacci and Prima Paintables. I didn't think I'd take to the paintables but when I met CD Muckosky the other week, she encouraged us to try watercolours. I quite **likes** them now.
Each layout is speckled with flowery goodness, I mean when you have a little girl there is no escaping some cheery flowers to edge a border or fill a gap. Ive probably over used one particular flower on almost each layout but with core'dinations cardstock, you can make a shape look different on almost every other layout.

BB is on.

Gotta go on my sad little sofa and watch the fireworks begin.

Bargains to be had

One lovely blogger left me a message this week to tell me that Atonement was for sale for a fiver in HMV. And as I was being lunched yesterday in our local town of exciting Wigan (!!), we popped across to pay respects to the evils of over priced DVD's. Atonement fell into my basket amongst some other majorly reduced movies including these:

and the best thing is.....I spent less that £20 on the lot.

But now of course our shopping budget has been cut in half so Ive been looking into my imaginery cook book of "1001 ways to eat your dog, er, I mean furniture" (just add salt I guess).

I meant to mention that I started back the gym this week.

People in the Wigan area may have been experiencing seismic activity as a result of my treadmill sessions. Whilst my shock absorber sports bra takes most of the energy from the exertion, I note that the rivets of the gyms steel girders are becoming more loose on every visit. This is not fair to the other members of Total Fitness and to add insult to injury, I am ashamed of my reflection whilst in the process (think black eyes, face like a ribena berry and sweat spurting out the top of my head like a fountain. Nice).

Im on a fitness campaing of major proportions.

I have to.

Really, I do.

They say the camera adds 10lbs. Only 10lbs onto this whale blubberness will not look good and I don't think everyone in the UK has wide screen tellies neither (I go for a screen test next Friday. Must get manicure. Must retouch my roots. Must stop swearing).

Anyway.

To help shift my poundage and prevent future gym visits turning out to be a health and saftey issue I needed to seek an alternative.

And whilst still in HMV I spied this.

Ive been meaning to buy one for flippin ages but couldn't justify buying the trainers that are supposed to go with it.
Its a Nike + iPod running thingy.
If you do not know what it does, allow me to tell you briefly.
You pop the apple nuggetty bit in a secret compartment in your "Nike training shoe" and attach the iPod bit into your iPod and it talks to you and trains you to run as well as gather the stats of your efforts.
I figured that by shoving the Appley bit in your sock for time being, you can save yourself 60 sheets in cash by not buying the trainers. In the meantime, I wait for a little attachment from Amazon which cost £5 that you fit to your laces and makes the nuggety thing a little more secure than bobbling about in your hosiery.
It only cost £20 and will improve my running schedule whilst I can still listen to my favourite running tracks.
Food budget gone down to zero now.
And Im peckish.
Now where is my dog?

Today...

I will be a lady what lunches.

Hubs is taking me out of this stinking pit hole of a scrap room to aerate the soul and refresh the mind. **note: Loving my Mark as he applies lippy in a scary shade of rouge. Also, didn't know I smoked nor swigged Guinness so eloquently either. Must diet. Clearly. Oh, and mark has a far more fetching handbag than I - the bitch**

Mark thinks I need a break.

Maybe I do.

But I just love making pretties all day long although I have to admit that my mojo keeps running off out into the garden and hiding amongst my twisted ivy leaves or indeed burrowing its naughty head inside my pant pots.

Last night I found it lurking underneath the ballcock.

No matter where it hides, I find it somehow.

Before we head out I have to share some frighteningly worrying news. I think we are going to buy a tent which would spell that we are in fact going to try out camping.

OMG.

Did I really just type that?

I thought camping was for..... well, I don't know. I didn't see us as campers.

But, you know......... have dog, will camp.

Its the rules, isn't it?

Thinking about it, we pass a camping shop on the way to our favourite lunchery.

Perhaps that is the master plan.

Romance is officially DEAD.

Launch Day - bargains to be had

Its the first day launch of Creativity Life - a scrapbook magazine from Design Objectives featuring a host of gorgeous layouts, articles and product surveys. I was chuffed to bits with my photography article in there which will be a regular feature in the mag to help some people get a better perspective of using your camera.

Also its the launch of the Creativity Life website. And if you like a bargain there are a number of limited kits up for grabs priced at £24.99 (rrp £50) including delightful trinkets such as a cats eye queue, basic grey rub on roller, basic grey precision tools set, doodlebug rubs-ons and alphas, core'dination card stock (its a bit special is that stuff!), adhesives, chipboard shapes and some new packs of the gorge papermania papers and their scrummy new stamps.

You wanna take a closer inspection? Come HERE

**keep an eye out for Scrapbook Apprentice in the magazine to be in with a chance to win a years placement on the team and gorge yourself in BG, Doodlebug, WR Memory Keepers and Clearsnap products galore**