Ladies Camera Club

31 Jan 2006

Compo Time!

I entered this into a compo today and loved getting back to faffing about! This is called "Kissy Wissy". Ive scrapped this picture before but I wanted to do this again (I hope by doing that I didnt break any scrapbooking laws!) - to see it in full view, just click the pic.

Ive also done the tagging tagger thing which has been sent to me by 3 million people. So here it is at last.....

First times you got kissed, how was it ??
I was about 10 and it was with Simon Charles. I thought he was lish and we went to Craig Darwells party. All the boys that went actually brought their girlfreinds so everyone were in pairs. Craig thought it would be funny to turn the lights out and simon grabbed hold of me and gave me a massive snog. And he had a polo mint in his mouth at the time and passed it to me. So we did more than swap spit!!! And I didnt really like it neither.

First time you drove a car ? What kid of car was it ?
I learned to drive in various vehicles like metros, polos and fiat uno's. But my first bought car was a Mini and it was the business. If you pulled the choke out whilst driving along it was like turbo power. I still remember the reg and I have pics of it too.

First time you went on a date, where did you go and with whom??
So many - ahem!!! Who was it with now.....mmmmmmmm. I think my first proper "take her out" date was a guy called Mel (yeah, I know!!!) and he took me to see Pretty in Pink at the cinema. I actually wore yellow! I had a bat wing, v neck white top, long yellow skirt, ankle socks and white sandals with chunky white beads. I remember now cos I thought I looked so cool in the 80's! With a perm!!! Jeeeeeeez

First time you fell in love and how did you know ??
I fell in love in 1989 with a guy called Chas and I knew because he made me feel safe at that time. He then went on to be a two timing pig bag and I will never forgive him for it even though he was my first proper luuuuuuuurve.

First time you cooked for someone ? Was it yummy and what did you make ??
I thought I had done a good job of not burning sausages, potato waffles and beans! The person who I made it for loved it and of course it was yummy - or else the breadknife would have found its way into his chest.

First time you got on a plane?? Where did you go and were you scared ??
I was 18 when I first got on a plane to an verseas posting whilst I was in the forces. I wasn't scraed as I was surrounded by lots of hunky firemen bound for the same destination. I flew to RAF Ascension Islands - just benath the equator, between south america and africa.

First time you shaved your legs ?? and did you cut yourself ?
No - i used an epilday but it wrecked cos those things rip the hairs fromt he roots - YOUCH!

First time you put on make up ? Looking back how did you do ? Did you look like a clown or do a good job ?
My mum put me some make up on for a school disco and I remember feeling so grown up. The teacher told me to go and wash it off and the next day I woke up with a rash - I was allergic to Avon make up and have since had to buy exepnsive make up (bummer!). Im a mac girl, just incase you felt like buying me some fabbo eyeshadows!

First time you moved out of home? Was it into an aparment or house ??
I left home at 16 to joing the Royal Air Force. It was in shared barrack accomodation with about 60 other girls with 20 to a room. I had the time of my life just laughing my head off in those barrack blocks.

28 Jan 2006

Cute kiddy capers

These cherubs are the reason why I want to take photography seriously! If I can take piccies of two live wires in a house in Evesham without photography studio lighting then I can take pics anywhere. I spent a lovely day and night at my wonderful friends Jo's house. The house is filled with laughter and love - I didn't want to leave but I was missing a certain little lady so I had to go eventually. Anja Mable is my doppleganger (if only by personality) and Freya is my story loving chum.

>>>This piccie still needs a little more editing but don't the girls look heavenly? Ive focused on their eyes, lips and jeans. I think I need to buy a graphics tablet so I can finish editing this properly as there are shadows behind freya's head and the floor doesn't match the walls.. this is a working progress for now but looks pretty good so far.
AND!!!!! I know I've been tagged, like a thousand times ... I promise to do it tomorrow.

25 Jan 2006

Zingy Paint Cans!

Oh my god - this is she - this the one - this is Caroline's pressy and I couldn't bear to part with her! I had to take a paciture when I finally talked myself into packing and posting it and here she is. Ive called her "Ali" - as in Tin Can Ali! Please will some UK scrap shop get trimmings in like this? (think Kate at Scrapcanvas might have some but Kate, if you are reading - get some MORE fabbo trimmings in). I admit, I went to town - in a rather exhuberant manner - with the ribbons too ..... so will some scrap shop owner please invest in some more fabbo ribbons and not just spots and gingham!

Now - Ive got to get on with some slide mailers. I had to ring Dr Dean for some inside info as Ive never actually done the slides - just the mailers. So thanks Jane and not a paracetamol in sight (or prozac for that matter - mwahahahhahaha). Also a wee thanks to Shell bean too - you naughty girl, getting me links to some sneaky sites whilst in work!

Can somebody slip me an extra 2 hours for this afternoon and will everyone stop calling me for chitty chatty. Ok - carry on with the chitty chatty but me hands are covered in jo sonjas paint and my workspace has decreased to 2cm square.

24 Jan 2006

Just love my stinky trainers.....

This is a layout I entered in the first round of a competition this weekend. The task was to include a "lace up" on the project and I felt inclined to do a layout about my beloved Reebok Classics. They stink to high heaven but are the most comfiest and scrumptious trainers I have ever posessed. I spent ages thumbing through all 700+ papers to see which would match the photos and Blonde Moments seemed the perfect marriage. I wubs Dyan cos she gave me extra so I could make fabbo stuff for her and I hope she likes this one. As the competition is based in America - I hope it gets the profile she deserves. She is bringing out another range of colours - ones that you will adore but I won't spoil the suprise for you until she launches at Stitches in February.
I did my first paint can today - for a birthday swap. I cannot wait for Caroline to get it because I know she will love it. I used my bestest fringing and ribbons on it and worked my arse off trying to perfect it. I won't post the picture up until I know she has received it because the surprise is for her initially. I think I could get heavily into these but our haberdasheries sell the most crappest of trimmings. I buy most of mine in the US - at walmart and micheals cos they is cheaporama. I want a bud from america to lavish me with wonderful cheapo trinkets such as ribbons, papers and trimmings because unless you have a penchant for fat tassles and twisted cords (a la velour sofa trims) then paint cans are sure gonna look pants if this is the style we have to adapt to.
peace out dudes - and by the way, how are you lot getting on with my "The miniscule picture" (as opposed to the Big picture!!!!!). Tee hee, just kidding Donna.

23 Jan 2006

A trip to the lakeside

This is me and Belle yesterday at the 3 sisters lakeside. Its our favourite little retreat just 2 minutes from our house. Mark was getting to grips with a lil photography lesson from me (yes - Im doing something right cos look at the results!) I don't know why we bother in the late afternoon at the duck side of the pond - the birds are always full-up when we get there and we see so many disappointed kiddies offering 3 week old bread to nonchalent (and fat) looking ducks and canadian geese. Ellie loves coming here becuase its so open and a great place to take in lots of fresh air.

Anna left yesterday morning and hopefully she had enjoyed her stay. I do wubs Anna - we are so alike in many ways (and yes, sally - people often think we are sisters!!). I cannot wait to move there but we cannot do anything until we have sold out house. Not one person has been to view it yet and Im paranoid we are living in a shack that nobody wants. Saying that - how am I going to sell it when I tell the world on this blog about the funny smell, which incidently keeps coming back - even though we thought we had got rid. I actually think its the lead in the paint from yesteryear on the radiator. Mark doesnt seem as concerned as me but Im completely going bonkers about it. When he comes home on Friday and see's Belle and I doing fruit and nut loop dancing on the ceiling - he might get the picture.
Ooooooooh , actually i just 'membered, I won't be in our hallucagenic household on friday. Im off to see the lady with the very rude issues.

22 Jan 2006

Dear, Sweet Anna

Anna came in my hour of need this weekend to take away my ellie blues. This was in light of Belle being faffed about at the hospitals of the world and to be honest - both Anna and I needed a bloody day off! I demanded she brought her glad rags - for we were to venture into the depths of a lesser society in a suburb of Wigan for a night on't tiles. This lasted precisely one hour and 30 minutes. We are soooo feeling our ages with incessant smoke inhalation, beer that tasted like dish water and leery 12 year old boys pretending to be 30 something. We wanted to go back to the house and get into our jim jams, eat chocs and watch a movie. In this case we watched Coyote Ugly. Whilst we enjoyed it, we did end up feeling rather fat and unworthy of life as the girls in that movie - goddang!!! Figures to die for or what? We wanna open a bar like that (with a crop room at the back o' course!. )

We took a photography trip down to the albert docks in liverpool. It's tres cosmopolitan down there with fabulous imposing red columns holding the buildings up, wonderful brick archways and high heel crippling cobbled paths. We had a scream playing with our cameras and anna took a moody wee shot of me (manipulated to hide tired blemishes!!). She took some great shots with her super duper papparazzi number so go and read her blog later.
But you know what - the most terrible thing happened whilst we were there. We only happened to drop in at a fabbo scrap shop (and in the northwest darlings - scrap shops are RARE). Both Anna and I mooched around the shop on our own little adventures and got to the till and spent exactly £62 each. And we bought totally different things. My most fabbest purchase was deffo the whale of a punch retro flower and some comlpete and utter scrumpsh rubber stamps for 80p each. What a great day we had and we were so looking forward to a lazy retreat when we got back until we doscovered the smell again in our house. Mark and I had scrubbed behind the radiator and found nothing to pin point the problem and I fear its coming from beneath the skirting boards. I have this immense dread of unearthing a body or something equally as hideous. What could it be? Answers on a box of bazzill cardstock to my usualy address.

19 Jan 2006

Cry babies and funny smells

Oh I can't help but laugh at this picture of Ellie crying. She was quite happily playing her DS when I walked into the room with my camera and said "smile". Instead of a beautiful beaming smile I got the look of fear and tears! And instead of rushing to put the camera down... I erm, carried on taking pics. She totally hated me for 5 minutes but all is forgiven. Isn't this scrapping lark cruel?

Then tonight as Ellie was finishing her tea, we sat in the lounge chitty chatting when I smelled a familiar smelly smell. For the past 2 weeks, mark and I have noticed this really strong pong coming from the lounge. It smells like strong adhesive, like a wood glue. It was starting to worry me becuase it wasn't a persistent smell and I was worried about fumes. I rang my DH cousin to come and have a sniff around the house becuase mark wasn't home yet and I was getting a bit upset. It was so funny watching Glyn smell every piece of furniture and piece of equipment - he even sniffed the telly. He looked under neath one of my cabinets only to reveal 5 mouldy maltesers which could of only been dropped by Ellie - she began to cry again cos deep down she knew she had done it possibly 3 years ago (even though, come to think, we have only lived there 2 years). Great - Glyn had seen all my dust and mould!

He then detected it coming from behind the radiator. He shone the torch down the back and I almost fainted with the scummy mess of dirt and dust. We have been in this house 2 years and wanted to change that radiator when we moved in but it was massive and they dont make this size anymore. We could have put smaller ones in but the idiots who lived in the house before us artexed AROUND the radiator. This meant changing to a smaller one would have meant artexing the room again (and artex is hardly "de riguer" is it?). Anyway, mark and I have to take the damn thing off the wall tomorrow to see what this offensive smell is. we have turned the radiator off and the smell has gone. I can assure you - we aint scrapping that moment. But I might offer him a couple of maltesers - mwahahahahahahaha

18 Jan 2006

15 layouts done - GO, GO,GO!

Hallelujah and praise be the blessed lord of all things wonderful. Ive finished 15 layouts for Becks and they are in transit as we speak. Heritage layouts are pretty hard going - purely because of the fact finding and date tracking involved. Im free from the reigns of deadlines (for about 2 days, have one layout and article to do for natalie) and then I start scrapping for me again!!! I miss scrapping for me. Like - scrap to my own theme. Don't get me wrong, I do love scrapping for magazines but its usually to a set theme. So now I scrap these fabbo ideas I have floating in my barnet. Scrap, scrap and scrap - oooh and ATC's too. And maybe the odd slide mailer.

Got these fabbolish things in the post today. Jane Dean made me this completely useful stamp for my ATC's. It incorporates my eyes which look a bit freakazoid - Im so looking forward to stamping all my ATC's with them plus I feel very lucky to have such a talented online bud!. And Lizzy sent me her first ever collecsh of ATC's - without swapping either, so I am honoured and they are rather delish. Ive licked all my Rak's a lot today. They are a bit soggy but Im in love.

Anna is coming to our house this weekend - Im besides my self with happiness. We are both feeling somewhat low so we have planned to go to the albert docks in liverpool to take some moody piccies and have a laugh. They have the most scrumpsh brasseries/eateries where we can practice our photgraphy skills and pretend to be Elsie Flannigan but be ourselves as well - the poor woman would think we are nut jobs otherwise. Ok - we want to be her - young, talented, scrummy hubby and a fab job. Sigh, I have my marky munky munksters and my baby belle and thats good so far.

Im also off to Jo's house next week (the lady with the incredibly rude issues) and the week after is my birthday. I keep hinting to the hubs that I want an AMM tool tote bag but i think he is buying me a 250gb external hard drive - the height of sopistication and romance. He will probably set it up for me and will think he is funny when he says to me "Do you wanna see my fire wire darling?". I will just say "No, Im fed up not hard up love" Mwahahahahahahahaha

16 Jan 2006

Right then, me old fruits

Ive been tagged by scrapdolly, Shell and Anna so here I go - baring my soul for you to feast your beady eyes on.

Four jobs you have had in your life:
Royal Air Force (9 years!), Recruitment Consultant (hated it), Temped as admin clerk (loved it - all over newcastle) and pole dancer

Four movies you would watch over and over:
Hope Floats, The Commitments, Bad Boys and Pulp Fiction

Four places you have lived:
Scotland (Paisley), Wales (Holyhead), Ascension Islands (whilst serving in the RAF) and Notting Hill

Four TV shows you love to watch:
Lost, Desp housewives, Friends and Will & Grace

Four places you have been on vacation:
Tunisia, New York, Cyprus, Portugal

Four websites I visit daily:
The Scrap Pad
Uk Scrappers
Two Peas

Four of my favourite foods:
Jaffa Cakes
Chicken in anything
fresh white bread
Pink Lady Apples

Four places I would rather be right now:
Having a cuddle from my mum (bad day)
Having a cuddle with mark (he is on his way back to Salisbury right now)
Having a cuddle with my freinds
Having a serious cuddle with my Daughter (which I will do in about an hour when i go to bed)

Four bloggers I am tagging:
Jolene, Edwaaaardo, Elsie (like she would do!!) and amber jane

Having fun but paying for it

My feet have not touched the ground since the end of November and the thought of going away on a retreat in January should have made my life relaxed. Ive just come back from Art from the Heart learning lots of Dyan yumminess. Although I didnt complete all the projects (had to finish off some deadine work) I had a GREAT time with some new buds. Made more ATC's and had immense fun learning about slide mailers. I spent a bliddy fortune on paperartsy stuff along with a few books, rubber stamps, embellies frm 7 gypos etc etc. Im still absolutely knackered and it didnt help getting up early for Ellies appointment at Alder Hey. What didn't help again was the way in which she was treated but I won't get into that as it will set me off and I would cry a river right now. Elie is fine - i thought I may add. We are just none the wiser and feel like after 10 years of being faffed around - we are back to square one. How can the RVI, St James, Southampton, Sheffield University, Wigan, Scarborough, Bridlington, Salisbury, Stafford, LGI and Alder Hey hospitals not know what is wrong with her?

On the plus side of things I feel very lucky to have been instilled with more creativeness in which to bring out my frustrations through todays hospital shenanigans - expect some very angry ATC's!!!!!! (not like the ones on display here - I love my surf dudes card. This is from a collection entitled "The madness of Maggies den"). Click to enlarge as its a bit hard to see some of the detail.

Our night out this weekend was class! We always go out to Brios whenever Dyan has a retreat. Its a poshy woshy italian restaurant serving yummable scrummables. I managed to do "layout" on a piece of ciabatta with pesto and olives (YUMMMMMMMY). I also had basil stuck in my teeth and the girls kept telling me all night and I wanted to keep it as it was my new altered teeth look and tts still there now and Dyan did this - an altered serviette with a piece of radichio and some garlic bread - tres funkadelic or completely barking? You decide.
And here is my picture of the day taken last week so it probably doesn't count as picture of the day anyway.
Its me and my beloved jaffa cakes. I can eat a pack of 12 in one serving with no problems at all - can you? Its not a very clear piccy but it conveys a message to you all - I hope. And that is.... don't buy anymore jaffas. They ere mine, not Mcvities. I accept no substitute. Just pure and simple jaffery jafferness will do for me.
Oh - and Ive been tagged by Shell and Scrapdolly. Ill do that tonight if thats ok.

11 Jan 2006

Holy Crap....

Not that I think Im a scrap guru of any description but Ive just been asked to do 4 beginners classes at the one and only Bonanza. I went last year as a retailer with Anna and had a blast meeting UK scrappers and other retailers. It was knackering to be honest but worth it when I met Boo and Dawn Evans and Clare to name but a few but my bestest meeting personage was my darling friend Jo (the lady with very rude issues!). The classes are being uploaded soon and I cant really divulge the info. A great deal of my freinds won't be doing the classes as they are, as I have said - for beginners. But it's a start and one day I will teach how to scrap on a budget of 50p.
So anyone reading this and going to bonanza for the first time - get your heels together, polish that eyelet setter and stand to firm attention. You is gonna meet Ms Wiseman and my cane is bent and poised! Mwahahahahahahahahha.
Click HERE to see a Bonanza website I found - its bloody hilarious - especially the music! Michael Landon ey? He was one of my first loves on The Little House on the Prairie.

10 Jan 2006


For fear of sounding like a repeat I shall say this only once - I MADE FRONT COVER AGAIN!!!!
Did you read that? Am I excited? - you bet your stinking butt I am! Simply cards and papercraft is the magazine who are under the umberella of Practical publishing whom I also submit work to for their Scrapbook Magazine and Craft Essentials Magazine. I had no idea my work was on the cover until the mag came through my door this morning. I knew it was in this issue but not fronty pagey! I did an altered pringle box - nothing wacky weirdo or anything - just pretty and valentiney and sour cream flavoured - mwahahahahahahahaha.
I also sent out 16 layouts to Joy for her set of books, She has also asked me to contribute to the other set she is doing which will surmount to 48 layouts in total by the time she has completed taking designs. Now thats out of the way I can concentrate on 15 8x8's for friday of which I have done 2 but they are quick and I love this 8x8 size all of a sudden.
Glynn came around to show me his new camera - OH MY GOD - its the mutts nutts... a Nikon D2 which is the top of the range Nikon DSLR so he has **loaned** (with intention to purchase I may add) his Fuji S2 which is ...oh my lord.....super-wizzy-fabboriffic and so paparazzi. I am going to be taking some superlishus pictures with that baby.
Then to top it all my accountant came around tonight to deliver me some fabbo news. What was initially thought to be a whopping tax bill for the end of jan is actually zero becuase i had but two things in the 2005 Out register instead of 2004 .... why am I telling you this? Cos it means I can buy a studio kit now instead. Wooo bloody hoooooooo. I knew I had been miserable for too long for something wonderful not to happen. So ..... Im in quite a bloody good mood and ain't nobody gonna piddle on my parade. well, not until tomorrow.

9 Jan 2006

Its been a mad few days....

.... it has you know - fast paced and full of action. Despite avoiding anything in excess of 2 calories Ive been burning off neg calories in effort to finish off 16 layouts and this afternoon I was done. Ok, so a few of the layouts have corners eaten out of them during my hunger strike but I do think it adds a unique distressed look and Im sure they can either leave it there in the book for curiosity's sake or they can airbrush it up. Ive done 4 baby, 4 heritage, 4 holiday and 4 wedding layouts packed full of the usual fullness that I cannot ignore. Ive loved doing the heritage layouts - just loved them. I was egged along by the help of timmykins alcohol inks (my room really does smell like a brewery) and the forever prima hyderangeas helped me a lot too. My fingers are as black as something really black and i have a scrape of ink down my right cheek - which actually highlights the hollows, I look almost waif like supermodel-ish.

So tonight I start a marathon round of 15 layouts for another project (a bookazine - not really a book and not really a magazine - not just a clever name then huh?) before Saturday, a layout for a mag and an article on using scrapbook die cuts. Are any of you going to donate me a couple of hours or shall I just take some lard off you and stuff it back down my thighs?

**Picture of Jen, MGC, Elaine and Fran on during our tour of Edinburgh, Nov 2004. We had such a freakin crazy laugh - i love them piddling about - acting all serious and not**
Oh! And I've added Usher to my music video (ive had complaints about the constant madonna marathon...but I wubs her!). Im converted - he is fit as fudge and he got me shaking my booty all over my postage stamp sized office. The wafting of said booty has knocked a few blossoms off me ameoba sized desk - but as me ... do i care?

7 Jan 2006

The gym and fish and chips

I totally larded out over christmas. I was like a hoover with teeth. I scoffed choc, mince pies and pringles like they were going out of fash. I nibbled and munched and licked and grazed on anything remotely savoury and sweet. The cupboards are now bereft of anything grabbably instant and have resorted to almost scoffing dried pasta in order to dispell my hunger.

This morning on goes the black cords I bought 2 months before christmas and they are tighter than a pair of stretch jeans on an elephants stumpy leg. I lay down on the bed tugging at the zip - absolutely determined they were going to fit when I lost the ability to contract my diaphragm and almost killed myself from panic.

DIET!!! (DH keeps singing, to the tune of the Kaiser Chiefs... I predict a diet, I predict a diet). So after dropping Belle off at school I came home and had a pastrami sandwich (needed the carbohydrates for impending visit to the gym this very evening) followed by 4 burtons chocolate tea cakes and a cup of tea (no sugar and skimmed milk - so surely evened it all out). Lunchtime came ......... nibblies. I craved nibbly nibbletons so i warmed some of last nights chinky up. Afterall, it was leftovers and nay we don't like to waste food in this household. The chinks was followed by another couple of burtons chooco bix and another slug of tea.

Throughout the day I kept looking in the mirror thinking I looked quite slim considering the amount of work i was going to do at the gym tonight. This thought was rewarded by a chocolate off the tree (its going down tomoz, stop panicking). Then came gym time! I beat myself to a pulp for an hour and 10 minutes and decided that it was not a good night for beans on toast - chippy chips were beckoning and I had earned it, hadn't I?

When I step on the scales in the morning and I havent lost 2 stone then Im quitting the diet and maybe consider eating my bazzill off cuts - which at the moment looks very, very tempting.

6 Jan 2006

A series of unfortunate events

Woke up to mount vesuvious about to erupt on my chin and 10 minutes later than usual. Its Belle's first day back at school and I was running practically starkers around the top of our house gathering uniform, clean undies, whilst my brushing teeth then putting eyeliner on with a blunt tip then brushing Ellies hair as she scoffed her rice krispies. I like to be all calm and collected for when my SIL arrives with her two children whom I take to school everyday and by 0836 precisley, up the drive she rolls and Im done - pristine and ready for the sqaubbling to start. And it did. And two minutes later it had stopped. Cos I was having none of it today. I needed to feel the zen, the ching and chang, the wicky woo waa of serenity- for I was to finish packing orders and then concentrate on my last 6 layouts for posting saturday afternoon.

I did one layout today and have almost finished another tonight and although I thought I was going to lose the proverbial mojo - I didnt. I did, however, lose my heart to Ellie as she seemed to want more than ever tonight so I stole away for snugs and cuggies. I think the first day back hit her for six after spending two weeks at home with us. I let her stay up to watch Celebrity Big Brother - I think we should call it "Why do I bother" in this house. Its full of numpties, crack heads and plastic. My money is on Faria or Preston to win becuase out of 11 odd balls - these two seem to be the most normal-ish. Pete Burns frightened the life out of Belle - he used to be really nice during his prime.
Then again - didn't we all? Mwahahahahahahahaha

4 Jan 2006


I cannot get a wink of sleep at the moment and Im dog tired. Belle and I went to bed at 10 o'clock. She normally goes at nine but she is not even tired but needs sleep more than me and she goes back to school tomoz. I tossed and turned for hours and clock watched every time I turned. Eventually I got up at 0530 and tidied my wardrobe out, the shoes cupbaord, dusted and finished off a few odds and ends (housework wise). Belle got up at 0730 and we watched freinds together whilst eating ham sandwiches for breakfast.... we are such rebels!
We have done so much so far today - lots of packing, sorting and admin and its only half' one in the afternoon. Ive run out of pizza boxes though - which is pooey so Im waiting for a delivery from a local box manufacturer. This is a firm who generally supplies food firms and our last batch was addressed to "Pies to Die for" - so funny .
Ive got 7 more layouts to do - fortch I have the pics printed and the paper and card sussed pluss sketches (check me out - one obv thinks she is becky higgins all of a sudden). Ive got 2 batches of ATC's to do (I say that like Ive been doing them for years, don't I?).
Im off to go an celebrate my left over day with a philly and pastrami toasty and a snuggy huggy with Bella Boo.
What have you been scoffing today - anyone says they have eaten salad are telling massive porkies. S'too cold for salad. Today is a day for lard. And fat. And vegetable oil.
BTW - the picture is of a coffee muffin I took a pic of in Edinburgh last Nov. Now I have a permanent reminder of why my hips are as wide as the M6.

3 Jan 2006

ATC's - oh man, not another addiction

Mum - if you are reading this - ATC's are not drugs although ATC's have the effect of an addictive drug. Not that I would know that cos Ive not taken anything illegal since I drank the Vodka I bought in excess of my allowances back from the Ascension Islands in 1991. I know these cards are not exactly the mutts nuts as far as ATC professionals go but what Im more chuffed about is the little accordion wallet I made from paper

bag ends. Im dying for someone to ask and swap them so that I know I will be a fully fledged ATC tart. They are only swappable on a threesome basis as Im awkward and feel they deserve to be nestled together in their scrummy little wallet for safe keeping. Actually, this wallet will hold 7 ATC's in the seperate pockets but do I look like I have time to make 7, in a 7 swapping swapper event?

Im up late sorting stuff out on my website and to be honest I cant sleep. Id do this through the day but the sale has gone bananas and I owed ellie some snuggle time earlier on. Tomorrow we are making cookies and we want to go and feed the ducks over at the 3 Sisters lakeside after Ive finished packing the orders. Im not kidding, I have 3 massive bags to take to the post office in the morning. Margaret (one of the post girls, well not exactly a girl - more like old hag with boil on her chin) is going to keel over. I swear to god - everytime we go to the post office with our mail bags (we dont use couriers.. we is not posh at all!) Margaret will look over the top of her glasses in disapproval and make some excuse to go to the back of the store room for some random, pretend item (as to avoid dealing with our load!) I wouldnt care but I leave it and dont wait for her to process it and then pay. We always leave the money and let them sort it out. I can't see what her problem is unless of course its me (god help us).
Anway, Im going to go and look for something for our feeding of the 5ooo ducks tommorrow. Our bread is so stale its gonna knock them out if we toss it in the water. MMMMMM goody - Aromatic Duck for tea then. Or duck and chips. Or duck butty. Or stuffed duck on mantlepiece. Duck a la orange. Duck and dive. GOT TO BED KIRSTY ...... YOU ARE BORING YOUR BLOGETTES.

1 Jan 2006


I have a list as long as me arm and no doubt the determination will be outlived by the weak and feebleness of my excuse book.

1. I will try and not eat lard, sugar or finger nails at any one meal session.
2. I will try and do 50 butt clenches whilst aimlessly surfing various forums. That also goes for 50 pelvic floor exercises - I try and get the elevator to 5 floors (if you catch my drift - at least I'll have a strong bladder if nothing else)
3. I will plan my work in advance rather than 3 seconds prior to the job.
4. I will concentrate on one layout at a time (i do 3 at one time and intermingle and chop and change to defeat boredom)
5. I will write my Will. Not that I think I am going to die yet but my dear friend Jolene has advised me of what happens if I dont.

So tomorrow evening when all of these havent been adhered to - don't die of shock. But if you do - make sure you get that Will written!
PS - Don't ask me why ive uploaded a picture of a paperbag book that isnt even finished inside. Just couldnt bare to upload a post today without a pictorial picturation.