Ladies Camera Club

16 Oct 2012

Suicide is painless?

I am really shook up about the story of Amanda Todd and how she came to make the decision that life wasn't worth living anymore.

She wasn't a bad person.
She committed no serious crime.
Her apparent "wrong doing", in this scenario, was an incident which she thought she was dealing with in private.  Then, of which, was exploited and the aftermath saw her demise.  It is only in her death that the people who saw that demise are now full of sorrow.   I hope they feel ashamed that they couldn't extract themselves from the "in" crowd.   And this is what hurts me most.

Why didn't anyone reach out to her?  WHY?

We live in a hateful world where the media spurn gossip and write articles about weight and appearance.  Kids who read that believe it to be true and in turn it leads to anxiety of not coming up to standard.  Even worse, they turn to bulimia/anorexia.  The feeling of not fitting in makes them feel left out and alone,  And other kids pick up and that and challenge their weakness.  The taunting snowballs from there which then leads onto bullying.  And the thing is, I don't think most kids realise what they are doing until its too late.

We stupidly live in a world where hideous comments on social networking are not monitored or acted upon.  A world where kids give in to peer pressure and ride on the back of others kids misery and hurt - its no wonder the world is full of negativity and pain.

If only the media would not offer opinions and sway peoples decisions.
And social networking was in support of positive actions as opposed to fighting or hating them.
And kids had the free will, without retribution, to lead and walk away instead of following like sheep.

This quote sums up my feeling on suicide:

"Suicide isn’t cowardly. 

I’ll tell you what’s cowardly: 

treating people so badly that they want to end their lives"

RIP Amanda x

Kirsty x
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Rach said...

Suicide is painless? Suicide is a selfish act that leaves a life time of pain and what ifs for those that are left behind to deal with the loss. My brother committed suicide aged 20.

Kirsty Wiseman said...

Rach, I dont doubt your pain whatsoever.
Im just trying to understand what leads people to decide that there is no other choice for them, Im sure he didn't want to hurt you. But he wanted to stop hurting more.
I did have this discussion with a family member not so long back. It was after a young girl had thrown herself under a train. And he said it was a selfish thing for her to do. And whilst I felt his damning reaction, my empathy was greater than his irrate comment.
We must reach out to those in pain and to vulnerable people and try and prevent such things from happening. I don't think anyones purposely kills themselves to prove a point unless a mental illness led them down that path.
But for a child of 16, who felt that she couldnt come up for air or reach out to a friend or feel any love - well, that to me is not cowardly or selfish. To me, I see that as self preservation and going to sleep to shorten the endless suffering.
I have been affected by suicide twice. Once by my cousin and once by a friend. Both under different circumstances and method. I do not think they were selfish but instead I berate myself wondering if I could have done anything different to prevent it. But when someone wants to go, you have to let them go. And then go about your life being as supportive and appreciative and positive. Because the more negative you are affected by it, the more it consumes your life.

Judi said...

I was so upset by this when I read about it and watched Amanda telling her sad story on youtube yesterday. I am so disgusted that people are leaving hateful comments on Facebook pages that have been set up in memory of Amanda. This is social networking at it's worst, it can be such a dangerous tool and cost this poor child her life. As someone who was bullied at school, I am appalled that in this day and age we still have not managed to teach children to like people for who they are and not what we would like them to be and not to pick on the underdog just to be in with the 'in' crowd. In fact it is far worse now than it has ever been because of social networks. I just hope that the evil, sick person, who started this persecution of an innocent child, is caught. We can't begin to imagine the hell that poor girl went through before taking her life after two failed attempts. So, so sad. May she rest in peace now.

Jan C. said...

I'm not familiar with this story and Googling it isn't helping. Can you fill in the details.

Vera said...

RIP Amanda. I am surprised that after the very public video, those around her didn't rally around and step in. Or maybe they did, but it just wasn't enough.

Rach said...

You can't help people who don't want helping, who don't give any indication there is a problem, or tell you they are dealing with it. 4 suicides have touched my life a brother, a school friend, a friend and colleague and a close family friend and teacher. I couldn't have done anything to prevent any of them. I was 15 locked in my house with the phone ripped out of the wall. I watched him pack the hosepipe into Mums car I screamed and screamed I hammered on the window shouting to him I watched him look at me I watched him drive away. I told the police where he would be they ignored me a farmer found him there the next morning. I was traumatised for a long time. I had nightmares for years. I couldn't have prevented it, it's what he choose to do, it was how he choose to deal with his problems. He didn't want help. It doesn't consume me, I rarely think of it anymore. It took a long time to get to that point the what ifs and the guilt can consume you if you let them. You can't reach out and help people who don't want helping, who don't indicate that there is a problem. Those like my friend who just walked to the railway bridge and jumped without saying a word, taking everyone by complete surprise including his disabled wife who he left behind with no support or family,

Kim said...

I hate thinking about what a cruel world I'm bringing my children up in. I try and teach them not to follow, to know what is right, and not to act in such a cruel way, however I just a strongly teach them to stand up for themselves, to talk to me if they are worried, or sad. No one should be made to feel like their life is not worth living. I myself have never been a follower & will not tolerate such hideous behaviour, I actually gained my best friend by standing up for her against bullies.
While I do believe their are some suicide cases where people may not be helped, I think in this case this poor girl could have been.

Sarah said...

Oh my goodness, I have just googled this, and have spent the last hour crying watching her video and reading reports. The man who did this to her is vile, but so too are those heartless brats in the schools who treated her so badly and gave her no friendship or respect. Why would no-one be there for her? Poor poor girl, I wish someone would have reached out to her. I am only 30 and remember my first lonely years at senior school so well, I was so quiet and an easy target but nothing on what this girl went through.