Ladies Camera Club

23 Sep 2012

There was this one time

In New York, 2005.

Mark and I booked a long weekend for an absolute steal.  And I mean a full on bargain.  It cost us £400 each to fly there and back plus a hotel booking for three nights (room only).  It was such a thrill because you can't even go to some mainland Europe destinations for that price.  On the flight over we learned that some heavy snow was about to land over New York and that we would be experiencing some minus 15 degrees temperatures.  Pah!  Im British and Im hardcore - bring it on.

We arrived at noon and after much advice we took to the Empire State building as it is best to be inspected in both day and night light.  So by mid afternoon, we wrapped up most cosily and took several lifts to get to the top.  The sun was on its way down which meant we could take in the 4 corners of Manhattan by day but also stay and enjoy the lights that would soon become all too obvious.

As we exited the lift, the temperature was most hideous even though the skies were cloudless and no snow was in sight.  It was so bitterly cold that when you inhaled through your nose, the air froze within your nostrils so we had to breathe in through our mouths instead.  I didn't quite enjoy this task but the labour was soon forgotten as I took in the cityscape of lower Manhattan; still in state of disrepair.  By the time New York had lit up the dark skies, I could not feel my feet.  Plus, I can't tell you how many cups of coffee we had but by about my 205th skinny, chocka mocha wocka - I was as high as a kite from the caffeine and the thin air!  So, we decided to go back to the hotel and warm up.

Mark and I, Trump ice rink, New York - 2005

The queues for the lifts were hideous and you couldn't make any shape or figure out from all the big, thick coats and woolly hats and caps filled the vestibule but at least it was warm as we waited to catch a lift down.  We all looked pale, exhausted and the same.  Note this last sentence.  Eventually it was our turn to go down.  There were approximately 20 figures ram shackled into the lift about the size of a cupboard so I held onto Marks right hand with my left and looked forward, towards the doors.  I didn't like the squishiness of us huddled in there but with Mark by my side, I felt safer. 

I was minding my focus towards the door when I felt a hand smooth around my back, under my left arm and then onto my left, erm, top left lady part.  At first, I just assumed it was Mark....mucking about.  Im used to him goosing me on the butt a million times a day, why would a random grope make a difference? But I had hold of his right hand, so how would he manage to carry out that manoeuvre from his position?  So I slowly turned my head to the right and looked up at the offender with my eyes as wide as saucers.  The offender looked at me and in return, widened his eyes with much alarm.  His face was absolutely priceless because all the while, he was till holding onto my bosom whilst looking at me and in turn looking at his girlfriend on his right (who was wearing a hat exactly like mine).

After much laughter from myself and his girlfriend (who had witnessed the entire debacle), the fella removed his hand from my chest and stood dying with shame .........and all the while Mark was completely unaware of the entire episode.  It was worth the cheap thrill JUST to see the shock and horror on the offenders face.

It still makes me laugh to this day.

Kirsty x


Shazza said...

OMG hilarious..... I was frightened for you but then when realised he thought he was caressing his girlfriend I 'tittered' aloud. Beltin' x x

Lizzie said...

Oh... Someone hold me up, before I collapse with laughter! Soooo funny!
Brilliant storytelling Kirsty, just priceless!

Anonymous said...

a memory of long ago will still cause amusement. the mind stores little snapshots of events which caused some emotion such as joy or despair.

Jaki Morris said...

What a lovely post, Kirsty.
Beautiful photo of you and Mark.

Don't get me started on lift stories!!

Take care


Sue said...

:) Thanks for making me laugh, although I nearly choked on my toast:)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious.... Coffee-filled noses are not a good look. I have to ask - was the 'grope' worth it once you saw him? lol. Poor guy. I bet everytime they have a row she brings that up. :D Jude.x

Debo said...

You have put a smile on my grumpy, snot-ridden face! Thankyou!


Louise said...

I'll keep a watch for that when we're there in 3 weeks time!!! Great story x

Carole Z said...

Ha Kirsty, you do know how to raise a wide smile! Love the photos too Carole ZX

Louise said...

Oh My....hilarious Kirsty, you told it so well that i have been crying with laughter. The look on that chaps face must have been priceless!! lovely photos x

Julia said...

Fantastic! That's cheered me up no end!