Ladies Camera Club

15 Aug 2012

Be kind. It's such a good feeling.

I keep receiving unnecessary comments from a repeat anonymous commenter. Actually, make that two because their patterns of grammar tells me so. I know these comments can't be classed as credible when it can't be traced to a genuine source but still. The persons who sends them just needs to physically walk a mile in both mine and Ellie's shoes before they get personal.

You can no longer read these comments as I am screening them now. It's ridiculous and kind of quashes "freedom of speech" but I won't allow negativity to chip pieces of me away; both to me AND to my readers, whom also might read the comments.

I do want to let you know that he slash she isn't upsetting me to the point of recourse. Perhaps I find it more irritating because i know that you can radiate so much beauty from being kind. It's uplifting to be able to say nice things or be encouraging and supportive. Whereas being negative, snarky and unkind must grind you down. Nothing good ever came from being mean.

Maybe once every 8 or so weeks do I feel the need to share our struggles about Ellie. I don't think I whinge about much else. But it's our struggle and it's real. We don't involve anyone else, not even our immediate family. It's just us four in our bubble, doing the best we can. So when I do share these thoughts, it's more in hope that we can reach out to others who might be going through the same thing with their child. It's definitely not a "woe is me" thing. Some days I deal with it and others I don't.

So, my dear daily anonymous trolls. I've given you your platform to offer me your pearls of wisdom for this post but if it's not encouraging or positive, I will not be publishing it.

Footnote:
We all have to try and be kind, everyone. It's an amazing experience. Even if you don't feel in the mood then perhaps just make someone's day by texting them or emailing a little hello. If you feel yourself slipping into a dark little corner of your bad mood, turn it into a positive by being kind to yourself.

If you want, email me at kirstywiseman@hotmail.com and I'll make a list from this blog entry to go into a RAK list. Everyone from this list will post something small but pretty and uplifting to the next person on the list. I'll organise it, just email me your name to be in the "random act of kindness" list where you will receive one little gift and send a little gift to spread the cheer. Just a quote or a card or something that costs less than £2 to make.

In light of all this troll and droll, let's spread a bit of kindness.

31 comments:

PaperDaisies said...

Hi
I am a regular reader of your blog and the reason for that is the positivity your blog oozes. I work within the education system and have followed the journey you have made with your daughter with interest. Negative people sometimes have the loudest voices so here is a kind person who has never left a comment before but should have. Kirsty keep smiling there are loads of kind people out there who follow your blog and hope will leave a message of support for you.
Hugs Nina

cardmaking bird said...

I've always been told that if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all. I've often read your posts about life with Ellie and that's how it's always struck me - that's it's just about your life with her, not moans, gripes or woes. Our blogs are our own, to say whatever we want on them, if people don't want to read them or don't agree with what's written, they don't have to read it. I'm glad you're rising above it, you're a good example of a strong woman, Kristy. Take care. Hugs, Marie xx

Anonymous said...

Nicely said, Kristy. Other people don't walk in your shoes and realize what you face on a daily basis. Please keep sharing with us as that is how we get to know you and your family a little better.

Kirsti said...

Well said Kirsti...I too was taught if you have nothing nice to say...say nothing at all...
Kirsti

Ps can u put me on the RAK list please...x

Carole Z said...

Hi Kirsty, I visit regularly and always find your blog uplifting and positive..it's so good that you can share your emotions, happy and otherwise about your life with your lovely daughter Ellie. Take no notice of the kind of person who would put you down for saying what you want on your own blog! Take care, Hugs, Carole Z X

Sue said...

I am also a regular reader of your fab blog and I love hearing about your family. You most certainly are not moaning. You tell it like it is.

If people can't even have the guts to put their name to their comments, then they should keep their nasty thoughts to themselves.

I would love to join the RAK list, so will email you now.

Sending you and yours hugs:)

Debo said...

I read your blog because it is so full of positivity. You make me laugh and cry and you put my 'troubles' into perspective: we all have problems in our lives but we can choose to let them rule us or let them make us stronger. You set us the example of the latter. You show us how to see beauty where we wouldn't have looked: you open our eyes and our hearts. We have read about and come to love and care about your wonderful Ellie and we have listened when, on those very rare occasions, you have vented your (justified) frustrations with the system which is not supporting Ellie as it should, because we feel like we are your friends, even though most of us have never met you.

Be nice to each other! (It may sound cheesy but it really makes the world a better place)

Debbie xx

Louise said...

another long term reader here who doesn't often comment...i was also taught if you having nice to say don't say anything at all. Your posts on Ellie are always full of such love and pride xx

Jaki Morris said...

In a way I miss reading 'coward's' comments as I used to enjoy replying to them. But by blocking them you don't give them the airtime they obviously desire. I read another blog (yes I know I'm a two timer) called Ministry of Mum, her tweets make me gasp as they are so true but somebody has decided that they don't like what she says and it has really brought her down. What I love about you Kirsty is that you rise above everything and everybody and you soar above us all.
Having had the good fortune to spend time with your family I found a truly happy unit and Ellie is a pure and innocent soul who has not been tainted by the negativity of this world.
You carry on censoring out the negativity, I do!

Love you loads

Jakixx

Julia said...

I am a regular reader too Kirsty and I love your positive outlook on life. I also feel your pain and dispondancy (sp) regarding your stuggles with Ellie. I think you do a wonderful job as a Mother.
Iwould like to say thanks for all the crafty goodness you do you are such an inspiration.
Hugs x

Julia said...

I am a regular reader too Kirsty and I love your fabulous outlook on life.
I feel too your pain and dispondancy regarding Ellie. You are a wonderful Mum and do your upmost to get things right for her.
Thank you too for the inspiration you give us crafters I just love your work.
Keep your chin up lovely lady.
Hugs x

Tracey said...

I have, on occasion , seen a sample of these weird comments, I think it's rather sad to be honest, they obviusly have nothing better to do than spew unnecessary words in a cold and spiteful manner. I personally love to read your personal entries as well as your professional/crafty posts. I had a similar thing ( as I am sure quite a few bloggers have - it seems to go with the territory sadly) and for a while I stopped posting anything remotely personal and I felt incomplete writing that way. The people who know you and visit your blog honey generally do it because they love you, we love you ! Just the way you are, it's not whinging it's sharing your life experiences and I am damn sure you have helped a great many people especially those with children in a similar situation to Ellie. Don't you ever ever change or hold back, if people don't like what you write then surely they should just not read your blog, I for one will always check back, because I care, just like hundreds of other people, keep smiling that gorgeous smile of your - love and hugs xxx
PS made up for some of the nasty ones by making a ridiculously long and verbiose but I hope happy comment lol xxx

heart.hearth.home. said...

Sad that you had to write this, but so well said. I am so glad you have the strength of character to rise above it. Negativity is destructive.
Keep on writing as you do, you have a story to tell.
I think it is amazing how much your business is growing given the juggling act you must have to do at home. All credit to you.

Sue said...

Very well said Kirsty. I agree totally in fact I make it my mission each day to make at least one person feel good :)
Please add me to your RAK list - will send you my email.

Rosie (Freycob) said...

You're better than the cowards hun. Those who KNOW you, Mark & Ellie KNOW your battles and frustrations but moreover they KNOW your LOVE for your beautiful girl.

Luvs ya!
xxxxxx

jknapp00 said...

Kirsty, I have been reading for a very long time and am continually amazed by you - your talent and your family and mothering and by your beautiful daughter. I think you and Mark do a wonderful job of advocating for your Ellie and she is a fortunate to have you as you are to have her. It breaks my heart that they can't figure out what causes her condition. It always seems easier to deal with when you know what you're dealing with. I must admit, I do not understand the schooling system in England - different than in America. Ellie will be fine because she has you and Mark in her corner and always will.

Judi said...

Totally agree with everything everyone else has said so there isn't much I can add.

Just stay the strong, caring and loving person you are and you can't go far wrong!

Lots of love

Judi xx

PS I nearly forgot to add AWESOME!!!

Catriona said...

I don't know what warped sense of self these people have who make adverse comments. As long as you find the majority of comments helpful you may wheenge, moan, tear out your hair, spill all yourworries and woes as you wish. We who enjoy reading about your very hectic life will always support you and if people don't like what they read- STOP READING THE BLOG!!!!
Sometimes I wish I lived near you to give you a real hug but here's a cyberhugfor now ((((()))))))

LindaB said...

Hi
I'm a mum, grandma and was until recently a special support assistant, I love your blog. It make me cry with your trials and tribulations and laugh at your fantastic sense of humour in the face of bricks walls - establishment and people. You probably make a lot of us feel life is there for the taking and living. Please don't ever give up. The so called 'trolls' must not be allowed to make comments and then not stand up a face the music - one word your cowards
Hugs to you all
Chris

LindaB said...

Hi
I'm a mum, grandma and was until recently a special support assistant, I love your blog. It make me cry with your trials and tribulations and laugh at your fantastic sense of humour in the face of bricks walls - establishment and people. You probably make a lot of us feel life is there for the taking and living. Please don't ever give up. The so called 'trolls' must not be allowed to make comments and then not stand up a face the music - one word your cowards
Hugs to you all
Chris

Lynn said...

I've been a regular follower for a long time and don't often leave comments but today I feel I have to come out in support. I love to hear how Ellie is getting along and don't mind if you need to have a 'moan' from time to time about your struggles to get the best for her. I'm sure when you put your feeling down it helps to make sense of the stuff going around in your head and any support can only help you to feel more positive. However negative comments don't help anyone. I too, have always been taught that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. Chin up, don't let the cowards get you down.

Lynn x

Anonymous said...

Hi Kirsty
It is really disheartening to read that you have to edit your blog. But I have read some of the hateful comments that you have had to cope with in the past - they were beyond pathetic.
I love your blog and really admire your strength and utter devotion to your lovely girl.
Your comments about Ellie's health difficulties helps us all to understand a bit better what others have to put up with. For that I thank you.
I once had an afternoon experience in hospital where I could only visit the canteen if I was taken in a wheelchair. What a wake up call that was - people actually moved chairs in front of us so we wouldnt sit at their table or near them. It was a horrible experience and I will never forget it and for me it was a one -off. Sending you all good wishes Kirsty.
Carole R

Craftilicious said...

I just don't get this trolling thing that's infecting the web of late. WHAT IS THE POINT??? I don't get what they get from it.
I don't have children but I like to read your posts about Ellie as much (sometimes more) than the crafting ones. Not that I want to share in your misery or anything, I just find you write so passionately about your struggles that I find it interesting. I don't find you whingey when you write these posts - and even if you are, it's your blog, you can write what you damn well like that's what freedom of speech is all about. Trolls should go hide under bridges like in tales of old and be slayed by the princes ;-)

SharonL said...

Kirsty, you keep doing what you are doing - you are doing so RIGHT by Ellie.
If some mean spirited persons wish to drag others down in to their pit of despair, than they can jolly well do it somewhere else!
I love reading your Blog - I know you strive for the BEST for Ellie as we have had to for our Boy. All that matters is your family unit and how you can keep moving forward to the next thing.
Hugs and smiles, Sharon. x

Di said...

Go Kirsty! Ha, ha - I'm with Jaki as I used to almost enjoy replying to the 'Troll' comments, but totally see why you shouldn't have to put up with it.

When I read your blog, I see the real Kirsty and that's what we all love about you - you tell it as it is. We laugh with you and sometimes we feel angry and upset for you, Mark and Ellie. It's life, and you have a way of opening your heart.

You know we're all behind you - just wish I could be behind the Trolls' rear ends wiv a very pointed shoe on my little trotter :)

Love and hugs, Di xx

Peachy Magoo said...

Bit confused, if someone doesnt like what you have to say then stop reading your blog? I like your blog I always read the posts but if I started to read one that wasnt up my street I would just skip it and if it happened every day then I would just stop following that blog...there are definitely some muppets in the world but I have always found them massively outnumbered by the nice folks

JANE KNOWN AS LIZA T said...

Arseholes to the trolls...nothing more to add...

chris paul said...

Just want to send hugs....i personally check your blog as often as possible as i love getting a update on ellie and your family.
I told my oldest daughter to check out your blog, since you have been sharing your amazing photography
(I dont think her nephew would reconise her without her camera ha ha)
Carry on living your life as positivly as possible and stuff the sad **** that take pleasure in trying to upset good people.
chris x

Jackie Humphreys said...

There is always somebody wanting to try to spoil things for others. They are not worth your time or your thoughts. We love you blog Kirsty.....Can I be added rto the list pleaseeeee. x

Debbie said...

It's sad that some people have nothing better to do than put people down. My mum always says if you can't say anything nice then don't bother, good advice I think. x

Julia said...

I never think anything other than "wow, what an amazing mum" when I read about your struggles with Ellie. I always look forward to your latest post whether its photos, cards or personal struggles. I only wish I could do more to help. Keep being you - you are fabulous!