Ladies Camera Club

27 Apr 2011

I want to tell you something

I saw this sign the other day on a friends facebook wall. I looked at it and immediately it summed up everything about my life

This may be the reason why I am tormented from relationships with friends (and indeed family) I have had in the past. Everyone has a standard or expectation and when it not fulfilled or its over compensated, this is when we start to think we have either failed them and indeed, ourselves.

Recently I have learned to surround myself with like minded people. People who have the same beliefs without hidden agenda. People with the same tolerances and understanding. But it has taken me many years to come to terms with it and enjoy my lot in life.

There ought to be no shame from walking away from a fight. I see no need for endless, gut wrenching arguments when both parties are so resolute that there can be no persuasion or empathy for each others grief. That aside (and in my ideal world) - bygones really should be bygones. But who says it first without the other party breaking into a tirade again? I got tired of all that years ago.

I wanted to share this with you today because this weekend I was reunited with a lovely friend from years back and has reconnected with me without any clue to the form of person I am now. What I felt compelled to do what to email her and explain what kind of person I have become over the last 15 years and how situations have shaped my level of thinking. How I deal with turbulent friendship's and how I use those incidents to reevaluate how I move on from the choices I make. I don't think I have been so open and honest in my life.

And if it wasn't for the quote I saw above, I don't think I would have had the nerve to write such a lengthy email but by god, did it make me feel good when I had poured my heart and soul into that email. It took 4 hours to write an account of my life (with many many things omitted, perhaps just touching on the basics but definitely no papering over the cracks - if you get my drift).

I don't think it was a life defining moment but suddenly coming to the age of forty, you start to look back at the things that have made you, shaped you and tormented you and you bunch them up together, twist them, squeeze out the bad things and sift out the good things. And from that point on you are smarter, wiser and perhaps a little braver.

Have you come across any quotes that suddenly made you "Ping?".

15 comments:

Felicia said...

*PING* I have nothing else to say as you just summed up everything I would have said on this subject perfectly. Thank you for posting this. =0) *Double PING*

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

Brilliant. It gives you such insight.
I find many cool quotes on the net. Then I forget them. That´s ok because they feel like new when I find them again. :D

Martha Richardson said...

Love that quote but I ran across this today and it pretty much PINGED me..."We evolve at the rate of the tribe we are plugged into."...Caroline Myss

Trish said...

OMG *PING* Having just finished my own blog entry for the day I popped over to get my daily dose of Kirsty and your post hit me square between the eyes, have a look and you'll see what I mean. Thank you X

Clarky J said...

Fab quote - I have no ping quotes to impart however I did find when I hit 40 I decided to tackle things head on and put to bed what I could not change - Im now 44 almost 45 and have spent the last 4 years much happier with myself. Turning 40 is a milestone but I think its a very good one too x

Hanlie said...

Great post! I am in a similar space in my life - ready to live on my terms!

Sue said...

I often see a quote that makesd me go 'ping'. One of my favourties is:

Dare to dream and believe in your dreams, as you may amaze even yourself.

Colette said...

I agree with you about turning 40 being life affirming, I am much more accepting of myself and kinder to other people as a result. I love the quote: 'Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle', Plato. I do think it sad though when people seem to treat with suspicion a random act of kindness or generosity. Says something though of how life has treated them I suppose!

Colette x.

Julio said...

I also learnt a long time ago that my time is too precious, I dont have enough time to spend with the people I love and like, let alone the people I don't particulary like. I know it might sound harsh but I "dumped" lots of so called friends a long time ago xXx

Michelle said...

Gr8 quote! SO TRUE!!!! I always say to my kids, treat ppl how u want them 2 treat u!

Pippa (pjbear) said...

PING'd me too, just finished a blog post about it, http://pjbear-determinedscrapper.blogspot.com/ Thanks Kirsty

Caroline said...

So, so true. I am equally tormented about this with friends. Not sure how to get over it but seeing that sentiment and the fact I am not on my own makes it seem so much better...x

Chel said...

Wow!! It must be a turning 40 thing or something but this is exactly what I have been doing in my life!!! I was recently divorced for the gut wrenching fights among other things...thank you for putting my thoughts into words!
Chel

m.punk said...

That is something I could not say any better! I feel that way a lot! It's awkward to be the person you were raised to be- the one that tries to go the extra mile not from weakness or trying to suck up but just because that's the way you are to have ingrates look down their nose with not so much as a comment, as if that is the expectation- on your part- just don't expect anything in return. The thing is- it wasn't done expecting anything in the first place! I cannot help having the "nice" genes given to me by my parents and I make no excuses for them! Thanks mom and dad! Especially my dad- who to this day will take the shirt off of his back to give to someone in need, then he'll make sure they have something to eat! He's 83! Just saying!!!
Punkinhollow@gmail.com

Joy said...

Great quote. My Dad (90 this week) always told me to check every night before going to sleep, what I had done today to make the world a better place.