I saw this sign the other day on a friends facebook wall. I looked at it and immediately it summed up everything about my life
This may be the reason why I am tormented from relationships with friends (and indeed family) I have had in the past. Everyone has a standard or expectation and when it not fulfilled or its over compensated, this is when we start to think we have either failed them and indeed, ourselves.
Recently I have learned to surround myself with like minded people. People who have the same beliefs without hidden agenda. People with the same tolerances and understanding. But it has taken me many years to come to terms with it and enjoy my lot in life.
There ought to be no shame from walking away from a fight. I see no need for endless, gut wrenching arguments when both parties are so resolute that there can be no persuasion or empathy for each others grief. That aside (and in my ideal world) - bygones really should be bygones. But who says it first without the other party breaking into a tirade again? I got tired of all that years ago.
I wanted to share this with you today because this weekend I was reunited with a lovely friend from years back and has reconnected with me without any clue to the form of person I am now. What I felt compelled to do what to email her and explain what kind of person I have become over the last 15 years and how situations have shaped my level of thinking. How I deal with turbulent friendship's and how I use those incidents to reevaluate how I move on from the choices I make. I don't think I have been so open and honest in my life.
And if it wasn't for the quote I saw above, I don't think I would have had the nerve to write such a lengthy email but by god, did it make me feel good when I had poured my heart and soul into that email. It took 4 hours to write an account of my life (with many many things omitted, perhaps just touching on the basics but definitely no papering over the cracks - if you get my drift).
I don't think it was a life defining moment but suddenly coming to the age of forty, you start to look back at the things that have made you, shaped you and tormented you and you bunch them up together, twist them, squeeze out the bad things and sift out the good things. And from that point on you are smarter, wiser and perhaps a little braver.
Have you come across any quotes that suddenly made you "Ping?".