This is just a quick post, perhaps more of a request for help - mainly from mommas of special kids :)
I took Belles to CAMHs yesterday. I poured my heart and soul out to a woman who had a clipboard in one hand and a look of pity as she gauged my desperation. Belle sat back in the chair, distracting herself with my iPhone. She always distracts herself but always, very always, listens. The woman, actually a psychologist, asked Belles to interject if she felt the need. I felt the need to tell the woman that Belles doesn't interject - that was part of the reason why we were there.
Belles is a lot of lovely things but she has an unusual behaviour.
Don't get me wrong, she isn't a complete psycho of a child who screams the house down nor creates havoc or has come home decided that she hates us and wants to die (rather much like I did when I was a teen - I hated the world, it owed me a favour and I wore black....every single second of the day). No, she is a very placid child who gives very little eye contact. She will not initiate conversation and I don't think I have ever heard her ask "Why?". She never questions or argues or moans. She does not spontaneously bound into a room with a tra-la-la-la-laaaa nor make a racket. She rarely sings aloud. She will quite happily sit and just observe. She prefers her own company. She never asks for friends to come round for tea or just to hang out (I have to ask if she would like this to happen). She never asks for new things. You can't treat her or offer hugs and kisses - she often says "No, thank you" and only recently I've stopped becoming hurt about it. She struggles but rarely shows it. She rarely cries. She never demands food or attention. She can become frustrated but its not very often. She prefers routine. She irks at speed and loud noises. Hates the light. Loves hot baths. Likes to lay down a LOT. She plays with string and soft toys ALL THE TIME. She takes an hour to eat her meals. She never, ever complains. She rarely chooses her own clothes to wear. Would rather watch cartoons. Pretty much eats the same thing every day unless we encourage her otherwise. Likes to fiddle with little fiddly things. Talks about animals whenever she can. Knows more facts about animals than I will ever get the chance to read and learn about - seriously, she is a genius with animal facts.
She is 15. This is not normal. And these are not negative things about her. These things are her but there is something stopping her from flourishing and perhaps maturing and its my job to enhance that - isn't it?
Whilst the woman cogitated and made select notes as I gave her a thorough description of my daughters odd behaviour, I was becoming agitated. The woman expressed that whilst Ellie shows a few similarities to a child with ASD, Ellies case was not strong enough and that we should seek help from her schools to combat some sort of nurturing. Wow - just like that? You lumber that on the school when schools are in fact for education and not some sort of therapy?
Im at a loss. I don't know where to go for help. We need to tap into Belles head and re-arrange a few things - help her, coax her, coach her, co-herse her, assist her. Whatever. She needs support and we do the very best we can but there is no progression with her. And yes, its simply reassuring to have a daughter who isn't a tearaway, a problem child or basically - a little sod.
But what needs to happen is to jump-start what's going on in that beautiful mind so that she can be taken a little more seriously - you know, have her voice heard and for people to take note when she might, on the odd occasion, ask a question. Maybe take her seriously and not brush her aside or talk to her like a baby. Believe me, the amount of people who do that "gush talk", you know that super sickly "hello little girl, whats YOUR name? Isnt it a LOVELY day? OOOOOH exciting! You have SUCH pretty HAIR - weeeeeeeeeeeeee" like they are speaking in broken english is UNTRUE! She is a lot of things but she ain't stupid. GAH, im going mad!
Anyway.....lol, can anyone suggest a system we can tap into - please? I was thinking MIND but maybe you know something we don't.
Thank you x
Giveaway still open until Thursday night - see posts below x
PPS: Just have to come back on and edit and thank you for all the comments and the emails I have had this morning - overwhelming..... close to tears. Where would I be without you kind blog readers?