Ladies Camera Club

5 Nov 2010

He who shouts loudest

Being a Momma of a child whose needs are different means you spend your life crying, getting angry and saying things you shouldn't have to in the heat of the moment. Surprisingly, you can be rewarded as a result. The weird thing is, if you ask nice and casually, it kind of falls on deaf ears. But if you scream, write letters, cry, get to the point where you can't handle it anymore and therefore make yourself look like a total psycho in the process; well, it might just be worth the agony. And in Belle's case, well - Id do it everyday if it meant getting some answers.

Lucky on this 45th million occasion we got an answer.

Belle is totally not coping with her options at school. She just doesn't quite grasp that these new choices will form the foundation for her future and she sits in the class not knowing what the hell to do. When she has been given homework, I ask her what its about and she simply does not know. So I have to re-teach her in a language that she understands. For instance, she has been taught franchising and enterprising in Business Studies. She came home not knowing what it all meant. So I had to break it down like she was going to buy into McDonald's/Subway/Starbucks - shops she identifies with and some of the many fast food chains that are ever the popular franchises in the UK. After spending three hours on a piece of homework that should have taken an hour, we got there. But how many parents do you know who has three hours a NIGHT to spend with their kids on their homework and whose parents cannot give them the guidance during their exam; of which she will no doubt, ultimately, crumble and fall without them there?

As a result of a rather intimate meeting with her SENCO and the likes, it has come to light that Ellie is allowed to take a bespoke course at another school in Floristry. To say this is a relief is an understatement. Floristry is a trade, at least and is something Ellie will manage quite easily. I can't tell you how much of a relief it was when the Access team at Wigan authority granted this bespoke course but I only wish the school could have identified her needs more closely without me having to scream my head off and see how we could tackle her needs.

Nevertheless, it is done.

I hope Im done screaming for a while. The 1% of me that doesn't cope seems to outweigh the 99% of the time that I do, so I hope some people give Momma's like me a break and empathise with how shitty this cruel planet can be for little people like Ellie.

Wow, I feel so much better already - happy Friday x

26 comments:

mustavcoffee said...

Fantastic news Kirsty. Lucky Belle to have you on her team, perhaps you can sleep a little easier tonight:0) xx

Handmade with Love said...

Glad your screaming has been heard Kirsty and what a fantastic course for Belle to take. It was lovely to meet you at scrapagogo! Tracey x

Suzanne said...

Good news Kirsty :) We learnt years ago, with Joe and then Ella, that those who scream loudest get heard. It's not right, or fair, but you do what you have to for the best of your kids xx

Anonymous said...

Well done Kirsty.. a shame that you had to scream and shout to be heard ..... caroline xxx

Tracie H said...

WTG Kirsty - I did the same with J's school yesterday - shouted and screamed the place down and managed to secure him a spot at the local college, where he will be taking a certificated bicycle maintenance course - he's dropping ICT in favour of doing something he loves and is such a happy chappie now.

Will Ellie be getting support during her exams? We managed to get extra time as well as a scribe and a reader - again only after LOTS of shouting with the men in grey suits!

Jaki said...

I'm just starting the statementing process with my son and it's going well at the moment. I think it very much depends on the school and how aware of things they are. For example it might be that for some subjects my son can do verbal essays instead of writing them which will be great.
Go mummy power

Maz said...

Great for Ellie - just a shame you have to shout to get these things - they should be offered without you even having to ask. Hugs. x

Sharon said...

What a brilliant course for Belle to take! So artistic - lovely! And well done to you for screaming loud enough for her. Thank you for my lovely pictures at Go Go Getaway. XX

Sue said...

Way to go momma bear:) Belle is so lucky to have a mum that fights for her.

Hope she enjoys the floristry course.

Heather said...

well done. I'm sure she'll love Floristry.

Bettyann said...

You rock Kirsty..You are the poster Mom of how to get their attention...

Anonymous said...

Well done Kirsty. Like you say, a shame you had to yell to get that information though. Ditto to everyone else's comments and just to add that - for some reason, no idea why - I can really see that lovely little lady as a florist. Who knows, you may work together one day? :-D Jude.x

Debbie said...

So happy for you and Ellie :) I know from even working in a school (TA)how loud we shout and all too often it isn't heard so I'm so glad you got a result. And floristry too! I'm sure she'll love it...I think I would too lol xx hugs Debbie xx

Debo said...

It does seem that if you don't make a fuss they leave you to it but if you make enough of a noise they will eventually deal with you.

Maybe I'm getting cynical in my old age, but I think they hope you'll just give up because it's so hard especially on top of everything else you're having to deal with and so you'll go away and then they won't have to do anything!

Well done for not giving up!!!
And I hope Elle will (excuse the pun!) blossom on the floristry course!!!

naomi_m said...

Oooooo flowers....pretty. I REALLY hope she enjoys it. I'm looking forward to seeing what she makes.

Mandi said...

Thats great news to read Kirsty
Good Luck to your Belle
She is bond to be fantastic at arranging flowers with such a creative Mamma

xx

Annette said...

pleased to hear that Belle will be able to do somthing other than try and understand franchising and enterprising - does she really need to know what they are? (come to that how many of us actually need to know what they are!)

Hope she enjoys the new course.

Sorry that you have to keep fighting her corner - but its always worth it in the end - you don't need anyone to tell you that - it is all for Belle and that is all that matters.

Take care

Paper Paradise said...

Oh Kirsty that is absolutely brilliant, not just for Ellie, but you too. It will be amazing to know she is doing something so enjoyable. Regarding the shouting, we should all shout at the tops of our voices for our children, so good for you. x

Eileen said...

'Mama power' rocks.

*reyanna klein* said...

Oh, wow. This is good news! I'm sure Ellie will do a fabulous job with Floristry!

Anonymous said...

hope the florisrty is something chosen and not "chosen on behalf of" .... because there is nothing else ! shame it took this long to sort it out and amazed these sorts of discussions didnt happen a long time ago ! Shows how poor some communication is within education doesnt it ! Surely plans put in place with the child as the centre of these plans and the parents as their support would be a much better way to include and support each child even if they have got some very mild health problems or the child with the most complex needs - it makes no sense why planning and discussions didnt happen with your daugther way before the courses began. Maybe they will do that next time and hopefully her ability to be independent in her learning will flourish and be of huge benefit to her as she develops into an indpendent and confident young lady in todays world - Good luck!

Sasha Holloway said...

You did what you needed to do .. and that was to "raise" your scream a little louder .. WTG for you and the little Elle.

I would have done the same damn thing for mines. hell I have in the past.

Chris T said...

Good for you but as you say it's sad the school couldn't figure it out for themselves without you shouting loudly!

kate said...

I was told a long time ago that a squeaky gate gets the most attention....and its so true. my son is not special needs but whenever I have gone into school to raise concerns about him being slower to grasp things I just get a shrug of the shoulder and told "thats boys for you " if thats the case are there no men in top jobs/Uni places etc???? totally feel your frustration....we all have to fight for our kids rights and you are doing a great job for Ellie-keep at it ! I feel that your fight is just beginning !!
remember you are the person who knows Ellie best and whats best for her.
take car and keep shouting,
Kate xx

Jo E said...

You brought a little tear to my eye with your post. Thank goodness Ellie has a mother fighting for what is best for her. I am thrilled to hear that Ellie will do something she can make her own.

Anonymous said...

I can remember my children doing their 'options' too. They were classed as normal whatever that is. I think at that age very few have any idea what they want to spend the rest of their life doing, I know I didn't. Ellie is lucky she's got the option of another course to take.