Ladies Camera Club

3 Sep 2010

Can you see it?

To me she is still my little kitten and try hard as I might, I just can't see her looking any older. Of course, she has grown but I only notice that when it comes to her jeans coming half way up her legs. Seriously. This girls still has cotton underwear for age 2-3 in her cupboards - that still fit.

Tonight I took her to McHeart Attacks. Its her favourite treat eatery and boy, she could do with the calories. Instead of going in her uniform (she rarely gets out of uniform after school), I suggested she get dressed up a little and that I would frizz up her hair and add a little make-up. She has the most palest lashes (and long, too - huh **cry cry**) so when I slicked on some mazzy, well...... I almost gasped at how much of a difference it made. I know it made her look older but as I snapped these picture I could still see my porcelain doll baby in there with her delicious ruby red rose bud lips, peachy skin and steely grey eyes peering over the top of her glasses. She is forever giving me the disapproving school mistress look - and it always makes me laugh.

As we ate in the restaurant, loads of people looked over at her and I know they were looking at her hair. It really is a show stealer. She behaves like any normal child (from the outset) and displays the most impeccable manners. But whenever I taker her out in her wheelchair, we know they are not looking at her hair. Isn't it funny? I do realise that people think I'm being paranoid but its really not the case. Any mother of a child with a handicap will agree with me. Its the stigma. And it hurts every single time. And quite recently, when I was explaining my heart ache about it all to somebody, they simply replied "That I just have to get on with it". Taking into account I was having a rough day, I took it really bad. On a normal day, I think I'd have to agree. Man, I wish I had no emotions and a swinging brick for a heart, at times!

If you ever met Ellie (properly), you instantly realise that something is quite different about her. Not just her size, but her manner. She is not good at giving eye contact. She won't volunteer information unless she really gets to like you, let alone know you. But she is a great listener and she takes it all in and yes, I'm talking about the nudges and finger pointing when she is in her wheel chair as well. But if you look beyond all that and tap into that beautiful mind of hers, you then start to marvel at her presence rather like overlooking the broken fence and admiring the flowers in her garden (one of my favourite quotes).

I'm thinking of taking her to the Harrogate show with me next week, so if you are there do come up and say hello to us, won't you? We have discussed Betty's Tea Rooms too - ooooh what a fun day that is going to be!


Jan C. said...

I think Belle is gorgeous. Her skin is has such a lovely translucent quality, and that hair is to die for! They do grow up too fast, though, don't they. My 12-year-old son has grown so much over the summer that he's almost as tall as his 23-year-old brother, and his voice has dropped an octave! He's the youngest of 5, and I get a little misty thinking about where all the time went, too.

Ruth said...

Well, I don't think I have to tell you how much I love Elle's Belles. I can honestly and proudly say that I'm not only met her in real life, but had the honor of getting to rub her feet and recieve hugs! She is the most kindhearted, loving, NORMAL young lady you would ever want to meet. I cannot believe she's almost 15!! ::sniff sniff::
I remember when you were here and I was pushing her in her "Elle mobile" and the stares we got. It bloody well (how's my Brit?) ticked me off and I got to see what it was like to be on your side. I adore her, I adore you and Mark, and the thought of someone ever hurting any of you truly sickens me. She's a beautiful young lady and I can see such a difference in her now and in the picture I still have of her in my family room.
Love you to bits,

Mandi said...

I have just sat and read your wonderful blog entry and this has started my day witha big smile!
what a precious girlie she is and so is her Mummy!

There will be [people who have prejudices about what they think is 'right' or 'normal' those ones, have UGLY insides......and who'd want that!!

MWAH for sweet Belle x [My doggie's name too Belle...lick lick]

Have a wonderful weekend
mandi xx

Sue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sue said...

Oops!!! Sorry, not sure what happened there.

Belle is beautiful. If people can't see past the wheelchair, then it's their loss.

I am sending you both hugs (((Belle & Kirsty))).

Heather said...

I agree with what everyone has said K. Belle is a beautiful young lady, she was very chatty when she came here. My Erin adores her. People can be very cruel and I know it hurts. Also people are bloody ignorant, just cos she's in a chair doesn't mean she doesn't hear and understand. Strength to you all xx

Rosie (Freycob) said...

Hey darl! You know we all love her to bits! She certainly puts Maisy in her place like I've seen no-one else do. We even tell visitors the Ellie technique to stop her excited jumps. You tell her that I miss my fave grown up girl and that she's welcome ANY TIME to stay with us! I have ham in the fridge and cakes to be made that need the help of 'Ellie egg' & 'Freya flour'. Oh, you can come too of course! xxx

Fiona said...

My friend is also a wheelchair user so I understand where you're coming from. Ellie sounds like a very wise young lady. Please tell her I think she has the most beautiful hair, I wish mine was like that.
Betty's Tea Rooms sound fab!

Tracy said...

Such a lovely, heartfelt post Kirsty. Your daughter is beautiful and still has that child-like innocence that is sadly lacking in so many other girls her age these days. It really doesn't matter what other people think, or that they stare - they are just ignorant nobodies!

You've captured her so nicely in these photos - the red suits her so well and her hair looks great!!

Tracy x

Kathy Rogers said...

Having had the pleasure of meeting her I have to say your daughter IS BEAUTIFUL, and you are spot on her manners are impeccable, she made my heart melt in the 15 minutes of conversation she had with you on that day. It was evident that she adores you. How many Mum's can say that about their teenage daughters? I'll sat hello in Harrogate next week.

Debsg said...

I hope you have a fantastic time in Harrogate and that Belle's hair is the star of the show :)

Rae said...

I'd like to think that really, subconsciously, they stare because she is so amazingly beautiful. they just don't fully understand it. because she is! the end! :) hold your heads high, both of you. Really, you have so much more of what matters than the stare-ers will ever have x

Clarky J said...

Ohhh Bettys - Been there today for a very special wedding (on my blog Clarky js playspace)x Im with you on the stigma front its others that need to wise up not you - some people are just far too rude!

Polly Pierce said...

Many years ago I had the priveledge of taking handicapped kids to Disney World on a working holiday. 'My own kid', a 16 year old girl reminds me very much of Belle.

Sometimes she needed the wheelchair and at others she didn't. I will never forget the ladies rooms in Disney World and the thoughtless stares of those who should've known better.

It angered and upset me greatly at the time, and I was only helping 'my kid' for ten days. I can only imagine what it's like having to live with it everytime you go out.

People can be very cruel and nine times out of ten, they don't even realise what they're doing. Keep smiling, you've got a lovely young lady there to keep you company and she's worth more than anyone of those doing the staring...

Alana said...

Unfortunatly many people today like to point out the 'differences' in others not thinking about the concequences of their actions. I hope Belle can sweep off their judgements and that her sweet personality shines through. Sending you big hugs.

Melanie Marshall said...

Anyone who has told you to 'just get on with it' has obviously never walked in your shoes. (which would make them shoe thieves really though)

My son is autistic and it's not that he's different, it's that in a way, I guess he is vulnerable and oh so precious. When we went out for dinner, he cried out of the blue and couldn't explain why he felt this way. As he sat there 5 minutes later scoffing ice cream and chocolate cake, it was me that hurt.. not him. He would never know or care that anyone looked at him, that he is different.. but I ache inside that just one day, he might.

And i'm sorry that I just droned on about my son, and that I know his condition is apples and oranges compared to the life your daughter has to live.. but I just wanted you to know that you're allowed to feel a little heartbreak because sometimes I do too. It's only because we love them with all we are.

Your daughter is gorgeous. I'm not BS'ing you to make you feel better, you are not wearing rose tinted glasses, she is beautiful.

There are so many lovely things and special moments to have in life, never let anyone else take that away from you.

Oh and Kirsty.. Just get on with it will ya. Kidding!! xXx

Bettyann said...

Kirsty sounds like Ellie is so sweet and it hurts when others see only the oustside package and not the inner person...Sending warm hugs and kind thoughts your let's go kick-boxing together to cleanse those black thoughts...take care..

kate said...

oh Kirsty I read your blog often and laugh/cry at your comments and stare in awe at your creations !
I have a 12 year old Ellie who has very curly hair and we get complete strangers coming up to her to touch it (without permission!) and have even heard people talking about it and saying "what a shame !???" I can only guess what it feels like for you and Ellie to get that all the time ...its all very well to say "ignore it " etc but my Ellie has recently told me that she has been teased for years and even some of her so-called bezzy-mates are equally cruel ! lets start a national campaign called "stop and think before you open your gob " hee hee !! seriously tho' its not fair and I totally get your rants .....anything that affects your kids just rips at your heart , doesn't it ? More power to you and the gorgeous Ellie in your and my Ellie-bing-bong are practising with the straighteners !!!!!
take care ! kate