To me she is still my little kitten and try hard as I might, I just can't see her looking any older. Of course, she has grown but I only notice that when it comes to her jeans coming half way up her legs. Seriously. This girls still has cotton underwear for age 2-3 in her cupboards - that still fit.
Tonight I took her to McHeart Attacks. Its her favourite treat eatery and boy, she could do with the calories. Instead of going in her uniform (she rarely gets out of uniform after school), I suggested she get dressed up a little and that I would frizz up her hair and add a little make-up. She has the most palest lashes (and long, too - huh **cry cry**) so when I slicked on some mazzy, well...... I almost gasped at how much of a difference it made. I know it made her look older but as I snapped these picture I could still see my porcelain doll baby in there with her delicious ruby red rose bud lips, peachy skin and steely grey eyes peering over the top of her glasses. She is forever giving me the disapproving school mistress look - and it always makes me laugh.
As we ate in the restaurant, loads of people looked over at her and I know they were looking at her hair. It really is a show stealer. She behaves like any normal child (from the outset) and displays the most impeccable manners. But whenever I taker her out in her wheelchair, we know they are not looking at her hair. Isn't it funny? I do realise that people think I'm being paranoid but its really not the case. Any mother of a child with a handicap will agree with me. Its the stigma. And it hurts every single time. And quite recently, when I was explaining my heart ache about it all to somebody, they simply replied "That I just have to get on with it". Taking into account I was having a rough day, I took it really bad. On a normal day, I think I'd have to agree. Man, I wish I had no emotions and a swinging brick for a heart, at times!
If you ever met Ellie (properly), you instantly realise that something is quite different about her. Not just her size, but her manner. She is not good at giving eye contact. She won't volunteer information unless she really gets to like you, let alone know you. But she is a great listener and she takes it all in and yes, I'm talking about the nudges and finger pointing when she is in her wheel chair as well. But if you look beyond all that and tap into that beautiful mind of hers, you then start to marvel at her presence rather like overlooking the broken fence and admiring the flowers in her garden (one of my favourite quotes).
I'm thinking of taking her to the Harrogate show with me next week, so if you are there do come up and say hello to us, won't you? We have discussed Betty's Tea Rooms too - ooooh what a fun day that is going to be!