Im far from religious.
That's not to say it doesn't exist but its just not my bag. I think that, with religion, you are born into it. If your parents are Jewish then you shall be Jewish. If your parents are Catholic then you shall be Catholic. Personally? I think we should choose religion for ourselves rather than have our parents encourage or force it upon us. There is so much world and choice and freedom beyond the confinements of religion for children to explore, before they are wrapped up something that prevents them from making an informed choice. Although my parents had me christened under Church of England, I only used to go to church because either someone took me or Brownies/Guides told me to. It was never the law and I didn't fear burning in hell if I didnt. I even took confirmation because it was something my friend did. I feel bad that I did it because looking back, I didn't have a scooby doo about its real meaning. I suppose it makes me a hypocrite that I also chose to be married in a church and have Ellie christened. Im so embarrassed about it, if the truth be told :(
I've attended weddings, christening and funerals because of the act itself rather than celebrate the religious part of it. But when I am sat there, on a wooden pew with a bible in my hand, I wonder about the meaning of it all and turn my head to the stained glass, the guy in a frock and wooden crosses. It just doesn't resonate with me. And Ive really tried. Even at my lowest ebb, Ive tried. I want to bore into the heads of those that "follow" and try to see what makes them feel the vibe and why that vibe inst in my head too. Then I go deeper and think that had my parents drummed it into me as a kid, would I be sat here, as an adult, questioning it? I just give up and realise that it's just not for me.
I am very grateful to my parents that they never forced it upon me, though and allowed me to be the free spirit that I obviously am. And yes, it hasn't stopped me "praying" and sat wondering for hours about it but even then, Ive only touched on Christianity because that's what I grew up surrounded with.........and I can't help think "what if I was suppose to be Hindu or Muslim or Mormon? And how do I choose which is the right one for me anyway?" Its crazy. Well, for me it is.
So, at the ripe age of 39, I finally choose spiritualism. Its not about preaching nor is it damnation and hell bound. Its lovely. Its happy and you don't have to go anywhere to celebrate it. You don't have to pray or be bound by its laws. You can pick it up and put it down and nobody would bat an eyelid about the gaps in between. Its calming effect and feelings of enlightenment takes away all the negative thoughts I have from time to time so that must mean it is my chosen faith. The books I have read recently don't tell me what to do either. Books as uplifting as The Power of Now and The Power, including The Secret are not strictly spiritualism but they have melodic tones pointing to spiritualism. And let me tell you, those books make you feel fantastic. I urge you to read them anyway as they don't interfere with religion as a whole. They just provide you with an upsurge of happiness and we all could do with a bit of that, now and then.
And that's my thought about it all. Me, a small cog in a massive wheel of various faiths and religions............believing in something and taking comfort from it.