Ladies Camera Club

21 Jul 2010

Puncture me, Voodoo me - I can take it!

Look, Childbirth I can handle. Paper cuts, needles and spitting fat I can not!

Ugh, I had to go to the hozzy today in relation to some probs with my ribs/sternum and had to give blood and undergo a chest x-ray. I had to fast for 12 crappy hours and all the while I could only see Mark and Eddy as large joints of steaming meat on a plate, just dying to be nibbled. Even the remnants of the Munchies Mark bought me yesterday looked appealing (Munchies are nasty chocolates, I detest them with a passion). I practically crawled into the "walk in health centre" from starvation and dehydration and every person that walked past me looked delicious. I felt like Edward from Twilight; only I wasn't sparkling and beautiful. I looked like death. I booked in using their deli-counter system where you pull a ticket and wait. Each human in that waiting room looked like they would have tasted absolutely divine covered in brown sauce and wedged between two slices of tiger bread. Bacon sandwiches were on my mind and each of them sizzled and taunted me as I sat in agony!

Eventually I got called in and almost took a chunk out of the nurses leg, Im not kidding - I was ravenous! I told the nurse she had a cat in hells chance of finding a vein 'cos my veins like to be snug in my epidermis! She tried the first time and failed. Scream. She tried the other arm, wiggled the needle in my arm and a was hanging off the ceiling in pain. She then decided to get her colleague to have a go who has 40 years bloods experience and hey presto - 4 vials of blood taken with ease and no scream. Then I had to go for an xray. I had earlier donned my bestest bra (non underwired) so that I would be decent in the x-ray room along with one of my cheeriest summer tops only to be told to whip it off in exchange for one of those gaudy, backless gowns. UGH, where is the dignity dudes? Its a good job I had a bolero cardigan on otherwise Id have been sat in the dark and gloomy corridor like a right donut. She called me in after what felt like 45 years and x rayed me with her tingly gamma rays.

After that, Im not kidding you, I legged it out of the centre to find my nearest eatery. I drank a litre of water and ordered a chicken salad sandwich which felt like fat hitting the griddle as it hit my stomach. Anyone watching that little scene, I am sure, have been put off food for life. Im laughing at it now, but OMG......... never again am I having bloods taken at 12pm after a 12 hour fast. LOL

Im leaving you with a tag which I used Aquamarkers, Altered Originals spray ink and Banana Frog stamps along with a smidgen of ephemera. My tag and quote collection is coming on a dream and Ellie will soon have a lovely catalogue of little keepsakes which I took the greatest pleasure in creating.
Going to go and hit the sack with my new books that I got for a song today, including The Shack. I hope to wake up feeling revived and renewed from reading it.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hope everything turns out OK. For all their faults (and believe me there are MANY) with my doctors surgery, they do at least try to get you in on the first appointment of the day if you have a fasting blood test to be tooked..... They sound like real meanies.... My first eat is always a bacon bap after blood tests! LOL. Jude.x

Darcy said...

the last time I had a needle put in it took them 8 attempts, yes EIGHT, from 3 different people. the last guy was a childrens anaesthetist, and even he needed 2 attempts. I have no veins, I am a vampire.

I am amazed you didn't take a packed meal with you to eat in the changing room straight after lol

Bettyann said...

you kill me..I can see you taking a chunk of the nurse's leg lol...

Maz said...

I give blood and am normally fine (it's a pretty big needle I must say) but when I was pregnant and throwing up all the time, on one of my hospital stays they tried 12 times to get a drip in me - like Darcy, they even got a children's doc in. You have my utmost sympathy, being jabbed with needles is no joke! And don't worry about the backless gown, we see much worse states roaming our hospital every day! x

Colette said...

You should right a comedy I swear, you crack me up. Poor you, I hope tests come back ok. I have been putting off having my cholesterol checked to avoid the 'fast', pathetic I know!

Colette x.

Josh Healy said...

Hi, hope it's OK to contact you here. We would love to include your blog on our giveaway search engine: Giveaway Scout (http://www.giveawayscout.com). Have a look and if interested, use our online form to add your blog (http://www.giveawayscout.com/addblog/ ). thanks, Josh

Jen said...

Aha! I have it down to a fine art: when I need a fasting test, I rock up at 8.30am when they put the numbers in the machine, so I'm one of the first in line at 9am when they start work. However, I feel your pain because every time I'm in hospital the doctors can't find my veins. In February both arms were BLACK from elbow to wrist. Frightening!!

JO SOWERBY said...

wow what a fantasticly hilarious story of torture. i cant tell you how it resonates with me. getting blood from me is like a needle in a haystack. i always say to the nures it's best to get it from the back of my hand which hurts alot but works. however they always like to play with my arms first, i can empathise with the digging part. in their defense however and as nurse myself who has learned to take bloods in the past, it isnt easy to do and i have missed some in my time. i always felt terribel but perhaps ur ones didnt. anyway hope all the tests come back witht he right answers and ur feeling more perky soon. plus enjoy the shack, it is an amazing book and very thought provoking
Jo xxxx

sarine.shamine@gmail.com said...

Hi, hope it's OK to contact you here. We would love to include your blog on our giveaway search engine: Giveaway Scout (http://www.giveawayscout.com). Have a look and if interested, use our online form to add your blog (http://www.giveawayscout.com/addblog/ ). thanks, Josh

angie's blogspot said...

hi chick I have had problems with my ribs/chest over the years, I was told it was costocohndroitis, or another name for it is tietzes disease, basically it's imflamation of the cartlidge around the ribs, It hasn't bothered me for a bit but when it hurts it hurts, hope you get your results soon, and all is well xxx

Sue said...

Hope all the tests come back ok.

They usually have problems getting blood from me. I sit there quiet happy, but then they miss the vein. I've been told my veins shrink and even they aren't in the usual place. I tell them they can stick me as oftyen as they like, I really don't mind BUT don't put it in and move it about. Guess what they do.......

Love the tag.