Ladies Camera Club

23 Jun 2010

Swing to and fro

Don't faint from shock but yes, this really is layout number two in the same week.
WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? He heeeeeeeeee, shameful and yet exciting; I can't cope with emotions today as it is.
I love the Tim Holtz little stick pins so much. Will use those, a lot, in the next few layouts

Love using my TINSY scalloped edged scissors to cut out leaves from book text

It's a layout Ive been meaning to do for weeks using gathered pieces put in a 12x12 baggy for that spare 15 minutes. I'm a sucker for grabbing lovely little bits that I know will work together on a layout and chucking them in a bag only to bore holes into the back of my head from the guilt of not doing anything with them (that was a stupidly long sentence, even I ran out of breath!). So I had 15 minutes today whilst belle was not well AGAIN in bed this morning. And this is the result.


So Belle was off yesterday. Its weird because I brought her up her breakfast and served it whilst tidying down her bed. I didn't pay much attention to her face this time, I was pre-occupied gathering her uniform etc etc. She never complained but just sat there, dainty as a wispy angel and ploughed through her bacon sandwiches and coffee. Then I went into my room to make the bed and come 8.30am, she strolls through for her hair brushing when I took one look at her face. OMG, it was so pale and there were not dark circles under her eyes but instead brown, like bruises. What on earth? I said to her "you are not well are you?" and she said "I don't feel too good but I want to go to school" (she would go to school everyday that kid, I'm telling you). I did not let her go and sent her back to bed. It was clearly hay fever as she was sneezing and itchy but unlike any hayfever I have seen in her, ever. I closed her dark curtains and let her rest until 2pm! So this morning Mark woke her up at 7am to give her some antihistamine but come 8am when I got her up for school, she was out of it again - up until lunch time anyway, after she had perked right up. I think half a tablet will do form now on!

It was just before I sent her back to school that I noticed a facebook update from one of my friends. It was along the lines of "RIP mum, you were so good and we love you - from the boysxx". I thought it was weird because my friends mum had died not so long back and I didn't get it. A few minutes later, people were writing tributes on her page and I then realised that the message had been written by her boys under her guise. The sad, awful truth sank in and I started to panic, feel sick and go very light headed. As the day unfolded it materialised that my lovely friend had committed suicide. Words can NOT describe how those words cannot be fully processed when you know that person had everything to live for. Nobody saw it coming and then you sit there and try and comprehend why it happened and why you couldn't do anything about it to help them. Its really cut me in two. I get so affected by these things in such close circles. I have been very blue about it all day and I must shake myself up. Perhaps I just might allow myself to be miserable about it today. It is, by no exception, one of the most strangest feelings I have had to deal with in a long time and I won't relish that again. **Sleep tight, Regan**

15 comments:

Candace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Candace said...

Hi Kirsty

Not visited for a while and have just been catching up on recent posts. Like you, I too have had concerns with my Son's health for a long time. finally after 3 years and me having to threaten to leave my child with Social Services I finally got a referral to camhs and an appoinment with a consultant. Consultant agrees with me, my son may have Aspergers.

For the past 3 years I have been spoken down to, I was mad having these thoughts, This is from people I know, relations, school, Doctor, Social Services even after school clubs. Even complete strangers commented on my lack of parental skills in being able to control my child's behaviour.

The weight that was lifted from my Shoulders when someone finally took me seriously was unbelievable.

Just need to wait for a diagnosis now, which I am told can take a while but at least I am now being listened to.

Good luck with everything, I truly understand how & why you feel anger towards people who just dismissed your thoughts. At the end of the day, as a Mother you know your child best.

Hugs Candace x

Ps Great LO.

Anonymous said...

Poor Belle. I wish I had a Mummy like you to notice when my hay fever is cr@p! :-) Hope she's feeling better soon.
Awful news about your friend. Just shows that we may seem alright on the outside, but have turmoil inside. Sending prayers for her family, even though I don't normally pray.....
Hope you are feeling a bit more on top of things soon too.
Jude.x

Sue said...

(((Kirsty))) how sad you must be feeling at the sad passing of your friend.

Hope Belle is much better soon and the half tablet works.

Fab LO.

Anne said...

That is such sad news about your friend. It must be hard to take it in. What a shock. I hope everything will be okay with Belle. x

Deanne said...

hi
your right - words cannot describe how it feels to lose someone but when that person loses themself its even harder to understand - love to her family x

I personally cant take any normal antihistamine! sends me a bit doolally! (well more than ususal) so I swear by Nelsons Polenna :) xx

Thinkie said...

sorry to hear about your friend. My granny did the same last week, we had her funeral yesterday.

SDCrafts said...

Kirsty, the very reason you feel so much right now is because you are a very real person; the words do not rhyme in vain.

Your friend has something in common with all who choose to end their lives, it seems to me, (ancient at 54 that I am) - she was not able to be raced sufficiently well by the humans who loved her enough to convince her life was worth carrying on with. No one particular person 'let her down' - no one let her down - she hid the deepest sadness anyone could bear. Of course, I knew her not and I could be very wrong indeed.

You will grieve and then, I know, you will find a way to reach out to her bereaved family. The pain you have borne through life's journey will show you the way.

Meanwhile, you will also be there for Belle and craft too - that's what makes us crafters so amazing!

mustavcoffee said...

I'm so sorry Kirsty, you are having a hard time lately. I really hope things will improve soon, xx

Debo said...

gosh, just don't know what to say. Keep typing then deleting, typing, deleting.
All I can do is wish you well.

Sue Bone said...

Have you thought about giving the anti-histamine tablet in the evening, so any drowsy effects are slept off. My doctor usggested this for me.

Sue

patriziawithaz said...

I want to say something to help but like Debo I am at a loss. Sending my love instead x

Heather said...

What a dreadful way to find out news like that. Her family must be devastated & her friends completely bemused by her decision to leave this life. But it was her decision. No one should feel the burden of responsibility but as humans its only natural that we do! Our thoughts are with you xx
Hope the tablets start working for Belle bless her she really suffers doesn't she :( xx

lynmcf said...

I am so sorry to read the news about your friend ...

amber jane said...

Just want to send you my love and a huge((((((hug))))) there are no words to make this better xx love you pet