Ladies Camera Club

14 Jan 2010

Wanting the best

Wanting the best for your kids needn't be materialistic i.e designer clothes and phones - hell, even designer friends; as we often learn everyday in this house.
For us it's about how she is coping, how she is feeling and how she is thinking. I just wish I could get inside that beautiful head and sort all the stuff that doesn't work properly out and bring her up to peer standard. I can't help it, its a mum thing.
She has been doing her first run of assessments this week and because she doesn't quite grasp the concept that these will form her overall marks for this years course work, her sense of priority and understanding is not a mechanism that kicks into gear for healthy study time. I worry that what she is reading isn't sinking in and I worry that she will be sat in the exam room looking at her papers and not knowing a single answer. I just want to do it for her, you know.

So, on Sunday just gone, we kitted her room out with a desk and new chair, cleared loads more stuff out of her room to make way for her room to look a little more teenager-ish. She instantly loved the new look and gave me such a loving hug which I hope meant that "study" was going to be a concerted effort. We often take those little hugs and thanks as immediate gestures of gratitude but will they last???!!!!

On this occasion the grattitude lasted more than a kiss and a hug....she is still smitten with her "grown up" looking room.

Most of this week, my love has poured all her efforts into revising for a science exam today and when I helped go over her notes last night there was not one thing she didn't know the answer to. Do all mothers go through this unnecessary worry or is it just me?!!
We know for certain that Ellie isn't University material and that's fine, its not like its going to come as a shock to us. We have learned to grow with this notion. I didn't go to Uni and I managed to great a great job at just 16 (Royal Air Force for 9 years) and I admit I also struggled through school but it wasn't until my final year that I flourished. However I, myself, didn't have the delays or struggles that Ellie has but thankfully we have been assured by school that next year (year of option) Ellie will not be undergoing a full curriculum. She is being given access to a local college to discover what she best excels in and then the school will focus all the non curriculum time into gearing her up for her chosen studies. Things like History, Music and RE will be dropped in favour of access courses that will give her certificates that will be recognised for potential employment. And whats a complete delight to my heart is that Ellie wants to work in Graphic Design; something she is quite capable of doing. This coupled with architecture would be all her dreams come true.

I hope with all of my heart and soul that they do.


becky said...

i love your notes about your beauty. since i work with students who struggle and have special needs, i adore reading about the strides ellie is making -- what a doll!! you do so many wonderful things for her, you are the mother i wish so many of my kiddos at work had!!!

becky dunnell

Bettyann said...

You are such a loving Mother..that is all we wish for our children to be happy and make me cry ((((hugs))) to you and your lovely girl

Zoe said...

I believe your beautiful Belle will have the very best chance of success and achievement in whatever she decides to do simply because she has such a wondeful mum helping her get there.

What kid could ask for more?

By the way, Uni's not all it's cracked up to be! I went; hated it (being a student ie:skint and the course); dropped out and have never once regretted that decision. I may not be a high flying career woman but I'm very happy and that'll do for me.


hello gorgeous said...

I think it's all about faith, not talking about the religious kind but the kind you put in your kids, family, friends and I know you put a lot in Ellie and d'ya know what Kirsty, she will come through because above all I think Ellie wants to achieve/be the best she can not least to show you that all your hard work has not been in vain.

hugs to all ;o)

hello gorgeous xxx

Sandie said...

You always turn me into a blubbering mess with posts like these. Ellie is so beautiful. I'm glad she's thrilled with her 'grown-up' room, I can't imagine having to take down all of the Strawberry Shortcake in my daughter's room. She's only 4 so I've got a few years yet ;)

With the 110% you put into making sure Ellie's needs are being met she can't help but reach her full potential in life. You rock as a mum!!

Marie said...

Posted a 3.30AM??? I though you were supposed to be getting more sleep this year Mrs Wiseman! LOL.

I'm sure Miss Belle will do fine at her Science exam but I'll be sending all the ~~~EXAM-SMARTS-VIBES~~~ I can today. Good luck Belle!


Lizzie said...

Well done Belle for getting the Science stuff licked! I hope the exam goes so well.

How can she not achieve her best, if she has such supportive parents? The main thing is that you are helping her to recognise her own strengths and to set realistic goals in her life. It's not all about going to university - as you have so rightly decided. You are not putting pressure on her to be someone/something she is not and can not be. You work so hard to build her confidence and support her efforts.
It's great when our kids do well and we can watch them fly! Belle's wings may be slower to sprout than some of her friends, but they'll come!
Wonderful that she's interested in Graphic Design.. though she may need to choose her course carefully, to make sure it offers what she needs (I was told some graphic design courses are very technical - and "boring"!)
Good For Belle (and good for you!)
I'll go and throw away all these soggy tissues now...

Carol said...

Kirstie - there are wonderful things happening behind those eyes. There is major success lurking there :)

Sarah said...

Writing from a secondary teachers pont of view it is not always about how many GCSE's your kid can achieve. Yes, I agree they are important but I strongly feel that children will succeed with whatever they chose to do if they have the support of their family (which Belle has) and a school that provides for children of all abilities. I teach a lot of children with all sorts of abilities and I always find that it is the ones who 'things don't come that easily to' (I was one of them!) that have the most success in life. I have taught graphics for a few years now so if there is anything I can do for you and Belle please just ask!

D@nielle said...

wow she looks so grown up in these pics. And I'm sure she will do well in whatever she sets her mind out to do as she has so much support that says she can and I believe that is the most important thing there is !

Angela W said...

That is awesome! I am glad she will be able to do something like that to find what she excels in! As a mom, we do tend to worry a bit more for and about our kids.

Katty Bell said...

Flamin' 'eck, Kirsty!
I am blubbling again... for all the right reasons.I'ts the way you tell your stories that does it.
Belle, bless, has a very wise head on such young shoulders, knowing what direction she wants to take in her career choice is testament to what a loving & supporting mum she has. **sniff-sniff**
(((Hugs to you all)))

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

Yes, we all worry about the kids getting enough study time. Specially in their teen years. They soooooooooooo live in a world of their own, with lots of daydreaming times. :D
Belle is as beautiful as ever, glad she liked her new room look. :)

kaz_za's crafty corner said...

i kirsty
i know the feeling.. my son went to high school summer just gone.. and i was sooo worried... he wasn't reading anywhere near he should have been.. his writing wasn't 2 bad.. but he couldn't spell any of the easy words... so we got him a tutor.. Pat is a wonderful woman.. and he has head Pat for just over a year now.. and you can see the difference,.. he can read very well now.. his writing is lovely.. his spellings are coming along.. but could be better...we all want whats best...i hope that Dean finds his way in the world and gets a job.. as you do for your daughter... So no you are not the only one who worries... we all do...!!! lol

sarah copeland said...

Ahh, thats a beautiful post, and a beautiful girl. She's had a great head start in life already just by having such wonderful parents. :)

Traci Cornelius said...

Iwish with all my heart that they do too and it is every mum - believe me!! Can't beleive how grown up she looks - I have to get to see you all soon otherwise I will simply shrivel into an old dried up prune!!

Michelle said...

Hi Kirsty
I have just stumbled across your blog and so identify with your thoughts about your daughter. I have a 23 year old son who has Down's Syndrome and I have spent the last 23 years working every waking moment to help him achieve his full potential and now, although the work continues, my role has subtely changed. He is attending a performing arts college, has auditioned for two TV films and made it to the last 2, has made a film which required him to do stunts and has worked with one of the stunt coordinators from the bond films, has met and become engaged to a young lady with Downs and is to have a fantastic wedding in Harrogate, with reception at the famous Betty's and is having a studio mews built in one of the more affluent areas in Harrogate. This from a baby who was destined for a life of dependancy and disability.
Keep going, keep working, keep analysing, the possibilities are endless!
Love your work too! Crafting keeps me sane!
Much Love

Darcy said...

Wow Kirsty that first photo makes her look sooo grown up, I think it's the hair being pulled back. With you as her Mum she is gonna do great, may all her dreams come true.

Cazzy said...

That little powerhouse may just surprise you. I didn't go to Uni either and I sort of ended up being an accountant and I am no good at maths.

Cazzy x

Emma - A crazy crafter said...


Don't discount Uni for darling Ellie, I have just finished my degree and on it were two people, one with learning difficulties and the other with physical disabilities, who were told as children that they wouldn't get far. Their sheer gut and determination got them where they are. You don't need all the qualifications in the world if you have guts determination and an ability to be willing to do work you love.

Ellie will do you proud and being a Graphic Designer (a bit like her mum) will be a fantastic achievement.

Emma xx

mommy2alex said...

Your worry makes you a wonderful loving mother!!
I have a 6 1/2 year old that has autism and adhd...I too worry about what his future holds. It would be delightful to be in their sweet heads for a bit!
I'm not looking forward to the day when he is affected by the looks/actions he receives from peers because I know that they just kill me now...will I be able to protect him from them forever? How oh how to keep them from being crushed by the rudeness of others?
You are doing a beautiful job and your Belle is a precious blessing!!

Anonymous said...

curlygirl looks scrumdiddly-if she ever wants a holiday on the south coast,pop her in a jiffy bag and send her on down.....
Lulubelle x