Ladies Camera Club

11 Jun 2009

Keep Calm

....and carry on.
That's my new focus.
Shock over.
Still hurting though.
Poor Belle still has no idea about whats going on so I gently explained to her yesterday evening and after wondering if she going to die (which I majorly shouted NO!) she was cool.
And, you know, Im not mad with the NHS. Like Jen mentioned in the comments in the post below, i dont think these Doctors study years of medicine to be callous or mean. But I do think there should be better support and access to information is more easily to hand. Im sure Im allowed to still feel frustrated with a poor system of care. But, at least we know she has one ailment diagnosed and that can be observed. Always grateful for the care. im just not grateful for time wasting appointments and appointments where things are discovered but not discussed.


Belle has a planned weekend of infinite affection from my parents and we have promised her a new dvd to reward her for being so brave when she gave blood at the hospital. Mark went on a long geocache this morning, he is almost up to 700 and has forty planned with my father on Saturday. I got my roots done and you know what having your roots done means to your soul! Its my only and favourite treat. I had a bit of a re-style to make me feel more summery and it took a load of the weight off. And as soon as belle saw it tonight she said "wow". Belle rarely gives out emotion in this sense; I liked it! Even mark was knocked off his socks. Photobooth quality pics are not the best, ey?!!
My hairdresser today made me feel like a million dollars even if she did tip the bleach a little heavier than normal. And so what? Time to shake my tail feathers and dust down my frock. New beginnings, I guess.

Im going to share a ton of photos including projects tomorrow to make up for lack of photoness. From pixies in the park last week with Sarah and her kids and our visit to Piel Island in Sunday with my friend Terrie and co. My blog needs an injection of memories because Im turning it into a couple of books so that Ellie can savour the ups and downs of her crazy momma in years to come. I certainly don't hold back, I hope she can put up with what some of you guys have done for the past 3.5 years.

And by the way, each and every comment and e-mail that I have received from you has been of great strength and comfort and I absolutely treasured each and every one - Thank you xx


Made by Mandy said...

Hey there pretty lady, look at you with your new posh hair. Looks great, but YOU look even better with a smile on your face :)

Just read your last post, it made me cry with frustration for how you are feeling. I've commented on your posts on Facebook so not going to repeat it here, but wishing you all so much love and strength to get through this. Ellie is a beautiful baby and so resilient. You've had a hell of a lot to deal with as a family and I have such utmost respect for you.

I just want to give you a humungous squishy hug. Wish it could be in person but a cyber one will have to do.

nailgirl said...

Great haircut! I work in a salon and I'm definitely gonna have to print this out and show to the girls! It looks beautiful on you too!! man i know how it feels to get your roots a whole new you! enjoy!

brokeshopaholic said...

I think your hair looks fantastic and you're a lovely woman.

I come to read your blog several times a week and I just wanted to offer a cyber *hug* all the way from Western Canada. I think you are an amazing daughter to your Ellie and a strong voice and advocate.

take care of yourself and your family, hugs, Randi

Sarah xx said...

Top hair!
You go girl!
You and yours are amazing and will be fine.
Huge hugs and best wishes.

Brook said...

I so love the chic hair! I am letting my hair grow out a bit to hopefully get something similar to this. I hope the new hair helps give you a new outlook.

I love Ellie's spirit! Getting on with life and having the most joy possible is what is imortant!

Lynn said...

i think kids can cope with more than we give them credit for! All we can do is be the best mams we can and you certainly seem to be doing that! love the hair by the way ... have decided to let the colour grow out of mine as it's just too expensive to keep in ... and hoping for a sunny summer to brighten it up au naturel :)

DGgirl said...

As a real brunette who always wanted to be blonde but was too scared - love that hair Kirsty!!!!

I agree with the comment, and from experience, kids are so much stronger than we ever believe or give them credit for, generally more so than the adults/parents etc.

Well done on keeping going.


weewiccababe said...

Hi Kirsty,
I haven't commented in a wee while, sorry. But I came on this morning for a bit of blog hopping and caught up with your last weeks posts.
I feel so angry/upset/sad/frustrated (delete as applicable) for you. I really don't have anything else to add that hasn't already been said. But I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you all.
Your hair is absolutely Gorj!
and as Dory said in Finding Nemo... just keep singing, singing singing
much love

Terrie B x said...

Hola Amigo`s....
WoW check you out!!!!
Fab hair cut.....`Gorgeous Lady`...
hmmmm I`m now debating the chop it all off look!!!!!
Sending lotsa loves to you all...
Have a fab time at Mam ma`s Belle
Big (((hugs))))xxx

Bettythebaglady said...

Dear Kirstie-Can't beat a hairdo for a boost. My hairdresser and I have lived through many terrible happenings in our lives. Reminds me, now that you've inspired me to get my nails in shape....I mean it... better get my hair done. How's yours doing by the way..hope you're keepin' up to them for your next appearance on QVC. Hugs Betty

Sue Abbott said...

Lovely to see a smile re appearing, lovely hair do and a lovely idea about the book. The thing is Kirsty, life is full of up's and down's as you know only too well, bless you, and the book needs to be open, honest and contain a mixture of thoughts and emotions, which your blog always does, that's why people from all across the world stay tuned!!!!! Hugs as always,
Sue xxx

Dylan said...

You is always my gorgeous bezzy be-atch girlie. love ya loads xxx. ha ha todays word is fuzle..!!

Lisa Hemmings said...

Hey, the hair looks lovely!!

Belle, is so lucky to have such kind and caring parents and hey....

How lucky are you to have such a strong and beautiful girl like Belle?

Lovely to see you smile again

Lisa xx

Rosie (Freycob) said...

PHWOAH!!!!!!! Sexy lady! xx

Jenny said...

I'm a lurker on your blog (from Studio Calico) and I have to comment. Thank you for sharing your story. You obviously are a strong person and beautiful Ellie is a lovely little girl who has the best Mom in the world. Though I can't say "I know what you are going through" or "don't worry, it will get better", I do have a special needs child myself. My 9 year old son has autism. Now autism has been in the world wide spotlight for the past few years but it wasn't so when Vincent was diagnosed. In fact, he was diagnosed with "Provisional Developmental Delay or PDD" - huh? No, not autism but PDD. Does it matter? Yes because since he wasn't diagnosed with autism but a form of it, he didn't qualify for services from the Regional Center. So all the early intervention programs I had to find on my own. There were lots available for children with autism but I was told Vince was different and didn't qualify for them. And no I didn't have thousands of dollars to pay for private therapy or school. Fast forward 5 years later and lots of appointments later, they finally did change his diagnosis to autism. Part of me is relieved and knew I was right from the very beginning. Part of me is upset because all the early intervention programs Vince missed out on. Part of me doesn't give a crap anymore. I drive myself crazy with "what if's" and "was I really the best advocate? I should have been more louder/stronger/more knowledgeable with the doctors back then..." At the end of the day, I know I am giving my best to Vince and that is all that matters.

You are giving your best to beautiful Ellie and that is all that matters.

ps - I also cry/moan/complain about the unfairness of it all about once every 2 months too :) It actually feels so good afterwards!

pss - LOVE your new do!

Missy said...

Love your hair! Hugs to you! Your family is in my prayers.

Karen said...

fabulous new do! perfectly sassy!

Katy said...

WOW!! loving the restyle, it looks gorgeous Missy!! :)

Sending you and Ellie the biggest of hugs and love.


Ally said...

That is some HOT hair girlie!

Sometimes a little pick me up can go a long way. Still thinking of you...

Houston said...

Hey, that's my haircut! Twinsies I tell ya! I'm in bad need of a trim, I shall have to call up my hair guy and say... "Make me look beautiful" it really is a big boost to the self-esteem!
You are so strong and brave, I know that conversation wasn't easy. Big hugs and have fun with the family!

Jen said...

OOh like the do! I agree totally with what you say: info should be more readily available and I know there is more focus on that in med school now, so hopefully it can only get better, eh? "Keep calm and carry on" - well, did you see my pink poster? There's a linky on my blog; I deffo recommend you get yourself a poster or something to keep you smiling!! HUGS xxxx

Angela W said...

Beautiful do, Kirsty! My hair is about the same except I have a little more bangs! You have an amazing little girl! I comment on your Facebook, but I also try to comment here. Many hugs and prayers still being sent your way!

Rachel said...

Hi Kirsty,
just thought I'd let you know you are one strong and feisty lady...I don't need to tell you to keep fighting, you do it so well and Ellie has a wonderful mum in you, who will give her all she needs day after day....She is so gorgeous and so are you with your new "do"..
take care my lovely...

big hugs


Rachael said...

Im loving the new hair do!!

Anonymous said...

love your "do".
love your curlygirl on all the vids youve posted on utube.
love your creativity.
love your posts.
love your immense love for your curlygirl.
BIG love to your curlygirl.
Lulubelle x

cannycrafter said...

Lovin' the new "do!"

karen m. (akaliz) said...

beautiful new do! so sassy!

hugs and prayers to your and your sweet Belle!

Emma - A crazy crafter said...

gorjusness itself. Love the new hairdo Kirsty. Glad that Belle is cool with her illness and you are feeling a bit calmer than of late. Emma xx

Sue Ramsay said...

Hi Angel,
must have been the day for bleach overdosing - went to get mine done yesterday and same thing happened. Came out with poker straight hair and felt like Morticia from the Adams family lol - certainly brightened up though just like you have.
Talk soon?

Linby said...

love the hair - glad you got yourself a pick me up. keep going with you and yours - thinking of youxoxox

Anonymous said...

Best hairdo I've seen for ages, and it suits you so well. I'm sooo jealous!

Children always take things in their stride so much better than adults. And Your beaut li'l Belle is one strong fighting chick, just like her mom. Your reactions, anger and frustration are all normal and driven by your love for your child.

When my own condition (Lupus)is getting me down I read your blog to see how you and Belle are doing. Both your strength of characters are so inspiring, you make the most out of your time, and find pleasure in the smallest things. Belle is remarkable and reading about your lifes ups and downs puts my problems into perspective and kicks me up the arse to stop feeling sorry for myself.

Bucket loads of hugs are winging their way to to all
Luv Dee P

bettyann said...

love love the new does lift the spirit looking so glam..shake off the blues and let's go dancing...bundles of hugs are coming your way!!!!!

*reyanna klein* said...

Your hair looks fabulous!!! You're one hot momma, Kirsty! WOOOT! :D

Vanessa said...

I've just read this and your previous comment. I don't know you at all, but I think I can see from here that you are a very strong and extremely loving mother. I'm a mother too and my heart goes out to you with what you must be going through.

Your hair looks fab by the way. :)


D@nielle said...

there are posters and cute necklaces that say that ;) OOOh we have the same do, love how your hair has grown I know you were longing for longer hair. So glad Belle took it all in as the brave girl we all know she is !