Sometimes I think I am on top of this "emotional train wreck of a mother" journey to hell.
I wake up and think that Im going to deal with whatever brick walls we hit and I do.
Then on some odd days I see a little knock or a graze on our daughters confidence and those 10 steps foreward become 15 steps back.
And I hurt; enough for the both of us.
This girl has lost her confidence in the swimming pool just as she got her first certificate only a few weeks back. It's as if the euphoria has vanished and the fear has started all over again. She came out of school heartbroken that she didn't feel big enough to get back in the pool today and frightened and convinced that the encouragement she often receives was more of a "you must try harder", instead, from her aide. I know for a fact her assistant is very affectionate towards Ellies needs but Im thinking some communication has broken down.
I know it can be resolved.
In the meantime I brought her home, cuddled her lots, talked in depth about the difference between encouragement and barking orders which in turn helped bring out this half effort of a smile. Still, it's a pretty little smile and you know, tomorrow is a new day.
And the pool can wait and her confidence will come back.
It's just a blip, I can handle it and so can she.
Repeat this mantra in your sleep, Kirsty.