Ladies Camera Club

8 Jan 2009

Fed Ex Fabulousness

Ive had some deliveries in my life both from the mail and womb varieties.
It could get rude here but you know me, thats not my style.
The mail ones are less painful, less gory and requires no stitches and lest the disgusting cup of tea afterwards.
Mail ones are the best deliveries although you could deem that little humans are indeed great deliveries but I can't exactly wax lyrical about the joys of giving birth. If I was to be completely honest, I found childbirth horrendous even though I was only in full labour attack pain for 3 puny hours. Nothing prepares you for your first delivery and I will never forgive my mother for telling me that I will forget the pain once the bundle of pink has arrived. It has become abundantly clear over the years that she spoke with a fork tongue at the time and I hadn't noticed the devil horns protruding form her head when she did.
So anyway.
My Fed Ex delivery.
I wasn't expecting anything from Fed Ex and almost collapsed from excitement when they came to my door this morgen. She said I have a parcel for Mr and Mrs Wiseman.
Oh great, I thought, not another bomb from the Taliban.
The thought does pass through my head when we get unexpected parcels, you know.
And in age old tradition I gasped "who could this be from?"
I bet she hears that a trillion times a day.
I looked at the senders address and it was from Las Vegas.
Had Donald Trump seen me on the strip last April and sent me jewel encrusted gifts to woo me. Bluergh, not on your nelly, have you seen his comb over?
Then I saw it was from the Research Facility and my heart practically kaboomed through my chest cavity. I was on my way to dropping Belle of at School and as usual I was a lil late. I raced like hell fire to school and back and every tom, dick and harry were on the roads this morning driving at a speed that Miss Daisy would orgasm over. I chatted to Ellie about what it could be. She really doesn't care, she has Geography this morning and she was geared up for that.
I raced back home, foot to the floor and again - stuck behind millions of other mums on school runs/drop off's. My heart was racing so fast that I could hear it in the echoes of my empty head.
When I eventually got home I ran in, grabbed a carving knife to open the over sellotaped box almost whipping both my eyes out in the process which would have actually been ironic if not slightly funny. Not being able to see this baby would be gods punishment for inside were requests for bloods from Mark and I.
And it looks pretty urgent cos they said get it done and send back on a 24 hour Fed Ex. They even put an ice pack thingy to freeze when we do. I mean, ER comes to the UK. Im so friggin excited. Im tempted to stab my arm with the said carving and knife and draw it myself - they even sent rubber gloves, a torniquet, phials, needles, sterets. Id even hand deliver it if I knew it meant something. Which it might not. But I think they have found something and they need Marks and my blood to rule something out.
Genetics is a mine field of rabbit warrens, twists and turns..... all these chromosomes, DNA, researches and bloods bring new things everyday. But with our little Ellie there is a little hidden imprint that will surely tell a story one day. Christ knows that 13 years waiting is far too long and it seems, recently, that her nerves are starting to judder a lot. Poor love can't sit still at the best of times but the last few weeks she has been cuddling up and when she does, she jerks, shudders and cannot rest for ONE second. Alderhey Hospital have got her earmarked for sleep observations (she does this juddering in her sleep too) but like everything else, there is a looooooooong waiting list for such a test.
But I can't be pissed off with all that NHS shit when research facilities out there are as FABULOUS as this (and if any of you are feeling ultra generous you can make donations there too).
This is turning out to be a bit of a bloody fantastic day......... Ill be back laters.

Afternoon.
I posted all the above this morning and now its afternoon.
Ive had a delivery for Ellie which I openend because its mother preogative to rifle through their teenagers stuff.
Well, actually I fib. I don't rifle through her stuff but I knew what the delivery was. Belle has treated herself to a Flip video camera because her phone camera is pretty shizzer and the quality is dire.
So I had a play this afternoon and quite surprisngly, Eddy hated the dame thing - you will not this when you watch this (by the way, turn your volume down as there is a moment where I am forced to scream and also - ignore my accent. I hate it HERE
Then when Belle came in from school, we went through the Fed-ex box and I recorded it. Ellies behaviour is so ad-hoc and I love how she sounds on it HERE
And finally, because you always get a little video happy with a new video - I recorded this for her before I went to walk the dog HERE
Expect more flip videos of total and utter randomness soon. Good job Belle cant use it from 9am to 3pm so that lil baby is all mine.

13 comments:

Kristine said...

Oh the excitement!!!! Keeping my fingers and legs crossed too for you and your family!!!!
xoxox
kristine

Brook said...

Hoping for news soon. Just to have a diagnosis would be awesome. Poor babe, if she is moving too much in sleep she isn't getting fully rested, and growing gals need rest. My boys are getting flips soon. Shhhh! Don't tell! Cheers!

Jennifer.T said...

I'm very happy for your guys! Both on the new little toy and on hopefull getting some answers soon!
BTW your accent sounds exactly the way I though it would (and no that's not a bad thing!)

sharon said...

omg...you will be going FLIP mad..I can't tell you what I've been up to with mine..;)..all for research of course...lol
Of course I bought it for work purposes but I get easily distracted.:).x
I will look forward to seeing your little films

Marie said...

Oooooo... very exciting with the box and the blood related things. Hope this means they're on to something.

That vid of Eddie did make me larf. I love the bit at the end "oh my god your breaths stinks!". PMSL. That totally tickled me.

xMx

Jozza said...

OMG!!! Fingers crossed for that all important diagnosis then! How fab would that be???

Now (you're going to love this), Maddie, my 3 yr old was sitting next to me while I watched the first video of Eddy. She said "mummy I didn't know dogs could talk!"

Bless hehehehehe x

Kerry said...

Hey that disgusting cuppa after the birth actually gave me my son's name. He was going to be either Max or Lucas and when they fetched sachets of Maxwell House it kind of made up our minds and Max it was.

Good luck with the tests. Funny how you were only saying the other day about keeping your mind off the NHS LOL.

My son asked me if it was me who was talking on your video. Must be that Yorkshire accent ;)

Looby said...

OMG the Eddy attack video is hilarious! I've just spat water everywhere! LOL

Really hope the blood tests lead to some promising news for you all

Lou xx

Lynz said...

Whatcha talkin' about, woman, I love your accent! But I hate my own Scots burr so I guess it's just one of those familiarity things, aye?

P.S. If you ever feel the need to get rid of your dog OR your child I want first dibs!!

Kate said...

It's so cool to have a voice to go along with the face. Hope all goes well and you get the answers.

Happy Weekend!!

Terrie B x said...

hope you get `good news` with the bloods Kirsty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxcrossed
So love the vidoes!!!!lol...
loves them all but I love the `Paris` one with you and Belle..`Fab`
Big loves to you all~x~

Cazzy said...

What have I missed? Better get reading, flipping PCs expiring when I am on holiday.

That birth pain forgetting thing - it is a myth that is put about to make sure women don't stop having babies (probably brain washing by people who have never had a baby - maybe men), and once you had one you tend to have another. I remember the pain too and like you I had a silent labour so it was only the actual birth that hurt like nothing I have experienced before.

I heard some girls at work saying it the other day, I didn't put them right - should I?

Cazzy said...

They ain't so good without sound, roll on new PC or fixed PC, son's can go back to his pit then.