My girl got her splints yesterday but couldn't try them out until we bought new shoes tonight. She is a size 11 in her shoe but for the splints to fit properly she has to have a size 1 (three sizes bigger than the norm). And because her school has the most strictest of restrictions on footwear, we had to buy her black trainers and when I mean black trainers, I mean absolutely no colour flashes or anything. This means she has to wear boys trainers. That alone infuriates me. Its not as if the kid is singled out enough without standing out further with hideous boy trainers. No offence to the boys but a girl has gotta have some pride, right?
Im not going to apologise for being on a downer because our hearts are breaking for her right now. She has to learn to walk all over again to correct her valgus heels. We took her to JJB sports along with the splints which she had not walked in yet. I put the splints on which have been measured on her feet when they were not weight bearing. This non weight bearing mould will correct her walking and is actually a good thing for her, when all is said and done. The bigger picture tells a better story but then again, it always does. That positivity is light years away but its a plus and for that I am grateful.
However, when it came to walking in the splints, it was like she was walking on broken glass. I doubt the school are going to give her the one to one she needs for that major shock to her system so we are going to break them in at home for 5 minutes a night, then 10 minutes and so on. In the shop she literally had them on for 30 seconds before I decided that the shoes were suitable for the job. People stared as she howled and sobbed about the discomfort and then she went and tore my heart in two as she wailed "Its not fair, I just want to be like everyone else".
Ellie says this about 4 or 5 times a year to us when she is faced with physical adversity and every time its without warning and it catches my breath. As a mum I ought to be strong for her and in lots of ways I am. I try and keep it together for her; she is my cub, I am her protector. But emotions run wild in this camp and all I could do was wrap my arms tightly around her and cry with her. I didn't care less about the stares or the looks of pity. Right there and then I just wanted to trade physicality with her because that's what I want to do but no such magic exists so we face reality alone. Although, on a lighter note - she might not appreciate what feels like a flaming broken leg if we did make that switch!
So tonight before bedtime, we both went to soothe her into them. She was dressed only in her nightie so we put on some socks, the splints and the shoes and watch her take her first steps. Im not going to lie, she looked bloody awful trying to lift her tiny legs that ended with a massive shoe and ugly splint. Her gait was corrected but the whole affair shocked the hell out of me and mark and we gave each other that silent "Im scared for her" look. She sobbed her way through the short walk from her room to the bathroom whilst holding onto walls and doors. This is not going to be easy and sadly, the hospital didn't give us any advice on the physio of it all. Im so angry and hurt.
As for the hideousness that is the story of my leg, Ive now been advised by the pharmacist to go back to the doctors again as I was standing at the chemist counter tonight waiting for stronger pain killers when my leg gave way and I almost passed out. The pharmacist, who isnt even a flipping doctor, looked at my leg and said that fractures often go undetected. I mean, what made him say that? Plus, a kind girl on the Studio Calico forum even said check it out for DVT. Yurks! I swear to god, if there is anything untoward after all my toing and froing it might just finish me off. Not before I finish my deadline's of course. I have absolutely no time to fit in an injury or illness, thank you very much!
Oh the joy of feet and legs in our house.