When an attack is launched upon the enemy, its best that a strong army be in place to make the most of blood sodden work.
A battle of wills requires the same, you think?
(I'm referring to yests post if you want to read this entry with fluidity).
I couldn't go firing off at Carphone Winehouse tonight as I was on my lonesome and had visions of cowboy retaliation launching broken phones as ammo in my direction. However, I do have a cunning plan. It's late night shopping in town tomorrow and my mark is coming as my back up. You can picture the scene.......I enter the store; my eagles eyes and my wits are about me, I look intense and beads of sweat protude from my forehead. Both Mark and I are miked up, he is in the shop opposite surveying the scene over the pages of book on quantum physics and I talk into my collar, in muffled tones
"I have a visual on cowboy, sloping shoulders and Couldn't-give-a-toss. Do you copy? Roger, out".
I go up to the counter, I bang my unused Blackberry on the counter and I give the death stare of all death stares.
Cowboy opens his bean stained mouth to say something and I say "Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?" in my most fabulous Robert De Niro voice and scare the cowboy out of his saddlebags.
Mark runs into the shop, takes a dive, rolls over to take cover behind a Bluetooth headset stand whilst pointing his finger gun at all three knobbers behind the counter and calls me on his discreet mike over to my earpiece disguised as a q tip sticking out of my ear
"Ive got you covered bitch, go for the kill".
Feeling quite shocked he used that tone on me but equally fired up I demand that they take the phone back or Im going on Phil and Ferns this Morning show or even worse, Jeremy Kyle (bluergh), to blow the whole story.
With that they cancel the contract and we greet the feds who cuff 'em and bang them up for a very long spell in the clanger.
Its sounds so easy, doesn't it?
Really - do tune in tomorrow night for the full and frank versions of events (minus finger guns, feds and mikes of course).