Ladies Camera Club

17 Sep 2008

Strength in Numbers

When an attack is launched upon the enemy, its best that a strong army be in place to make the most of blood sodden work.
A battle of wills requires the same, you think?
(I'm referring to yests post if you want to read this entry with fluidity).

I couldn't go firing off at Carphone Winehouse tonight as I was on my lonesome and had visions of cowboy retaliation launching broken phones as ammo in my direction. However, I do have a cunning plan. It's late night shopping in town tomorrow and my mark is coming as my back up. You can picture the scene.......I enter the store; my eagles eyes and my wits are about me, I look intense and beads of sweat protude from my forehead. Both Mark and I are miked up, he is in the shop opposite surveying the scene over the pages of book on quantum physics and I talk into my collar, in muffled tones
"I have a visual on cowboy, sloping shoulders and Couldn't-give-a-toss. Do you copy? Roger, out".
I go up to the counter, I bang my unused Blackberry on the counter and I give the death stare of all death stares.
Cowboy opens his bean stained mouth to say something and I say "Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?" in my most fabulous Robert De Niro voice and scare the cowboy out of his saddlebags.
Mark runs into the shop, takes a dive, rolls over to take cover behind a Bluetooth headset stand whilst pointing his finger gun at all three knobbers behind the counter and calls me on his discreet mike over to my earpiece disguised as a q tip sticking out of my ear
"Ive got you covered bitch, go for the kill".
Feeling quite shocked he used that tone on me but equally fired up I demand that they take the phone back or Im going on Phil and Ferns this Morning show or even worse, Jeremy Kyle (bluergh), to blow the whole story.

With that they cancel the contract and we greet the feds who cuff 'em and bang them up for a very long spell in the clanger.

Its sounds so easy, doesn't it?

Really - do tune in tomorrow night for the full and frank versions of events (minus finger guns, feds and mikes of course).

15 comments:

Rosie (Freycob) said...

Oh my word....!

You need therapy woman! I almost let a little dribble of wee out when reading that little episode!

Tune in next time to find out what happens when K&M go to CPW!!!

xx

Rach said...

PSML can I come and watch?!

Mrs Wonka said...

Maybe you should get matching balaclavas just incase it gets nasty! You may never be able to go into town again......Good luck may the force be with you!

Dawn said...

Do you think it's time to give up scrapbooking and become that famous author instead?? You do write a good piece of fiction and I'm sure the pay would be better!!

Deanne said...

you defo need to seek help! :) lol x

Bev said...

ROFLMAO!! How am I going to get any sleep now, I can't stop laughing!

Think you should call MGM - there's a blockbuster in the making here

Darcy said...

LMAO.....I watch to watch,never mind typing it up you should video the whole thing. Oh and wear fake noses and moustachios too.

xx

Darcy said...

LMAO.....I watch to watch,never mind typing it up you should video the whole thing. Oh and wear fake noses and moustachios too.

xx

Jo said...

blimey Missus!

I've never laughed so much this early in a morning before.. my eyes are usually boggled shut with sleep!!

You make me chuckle.. what time's the update?? lol

Kath said...

A little something for you Kirsty
HERE
..you are such a sweety and you do make me laugh. Good luck with the assault on CPW tonight...need any back up - give me a shout.
hugs
kath
xxxxxx

Hannah said...

That was hilarious! I almost fell off my chair! I love reading your blog its ace, will tune in later!

Han x

Jozza said...

I feel you need to slip a little Clint Eastwood in there for proper bowel loosening effect (on the cowboy not on you!)

"Are ya feeling lucky today......PUNK?"

I await the next installment with baited breath......

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