Ladies Camera Club

16 Sep 2008

Do not and I mean DO NOT buy a phone from Carphone Warehouse

I should have noticed the spurs on the boots of the Carphone Warehouse salesman who constantly "yeeee-haaaa'ed" when I signed the most disgusting phone contract (to move to Orange) ever in the world - EVER, last week.
Ok. Ok. Ok. I know I signed it at the time thinking it was a deal and a half.
That was until I rang my current provider, O2, for my Pac code (the authorisation to keep my phone number so I could move contractswith ease!). O2 asked why I wanted to leave to go with Orange. So I told them about my supposed fab new deal. O2 murmured that rather cringe worthy "oh dear" and that's when I knew I had been screwed. O2 could do the same deal for £17 cheaper than the deal I had just got with CP.
£17? I mean £17 a month cheaper. WTF?
So I rang Carphone Warehouse head office. I was quite delighted to be able to ring up and tell them I got a better deal elsewhere and that they could jolly well shove their crappo contract somewhere sinister until I was met with "hitch from bell". I explained that I didn't want to carry on with their contract because I had a better deal from O2 and that I'd like to cancel. And the girl answered with the following hideous line
"Dat's what you's got and dat's what you's get and dat's what you's are aving".
Serious, the EXACT words.
I know you think Im bulling you, but really - dat's how she said it.
I actually think its funny in hindsight ....but you know, I dont take too kindly to mean girls.
Other than spontaneously combusting with rage, I threw the phone down and thought "Huh, watch this space, knobbers".
I went back to Carphone Warehouse to pick up the Blackberry the next day (I ordered in a silver one and they had none in stock the previous day). I re-iterated my dilemma to the guy in the shop who clearly has sloping shoulders and wimpered that he couldn't help but James could (the cowboy, remember?). He said he would get James to call. Pass the book, why don't you?
No Call.
4 days later, no call.
So I rang the little sod today.
Told him my dilemma and he said "Sure, bring it back".
Hooray, Im £17 a month richer, I thought.
So I take it back tonight.
Oh no. Oh dear. Oh how convenient.
No James, he had sodded off to sodsville.
Sloping shoulder guy and Couldn't-give-a-toss guy pretend they don't know how to deal with a return on a phone that doesn't have a "14 day cooling off period" it seems.
They ring head office (probably not really, they were obviously ringing the speaking clock for all it was worth) who said "No - you cant return the phone. Orange won't allow it and neither will Head Office".
Allegedly, if you buy a phone from CP via a T-mobile or Orange network you apparently do not have a 14 day cooling off period to return it. Which is a load of cock and bull - actually.
So I came home FURIOUS tonight and rang Orange direct.
Orange are an AMAZING company themselves.
Very good, very informative and who said that CP are a bunch of knobbers whom are notorious for being rip off merchants. Love it when I get the feeling Im right!
They WILL allow me to close the contract but need to be authorised by CP head office.
So I ring CP head office.
And I quoted "28 days Sales of Goods Act" which guarantees that I can return my phone as its not fit for the purpose of my use.
Knob head CP guy gets all tacky and says "well if its not fit for the purpose, you have to go back to the shop and say so".

Blind leading the frigging blind?

Tune in tomorrow to hear of how the tale ends.
Hopefully not me throwing a rope around my neck and jumping off the banister.


michele said...

what is it with these sales guys they get you good and proper, i just saved us from a 1 week time share on a boat! good luck with sorting it out you get the ********'s hugs mx

Mrs Wonka said...

Will you be selling tickets, I'd like to see it.......

Mrs Wonka x

greyparrot said...

after spending a ridic amount of time in vodafone shop today AND sat listening to my mate on the phone to them for hours I sympathise! In this case it was 'vodafone online is £145 cheaper over the contract course than vodafone shop for exactly the same package'. We did mucho arguing and won in the end. Off to planet knobsville with them all!

Yasmin said...

Will def be back to read the 2nd instalment!

Deanne said...

bloody hell kirsty, this is why i hate contract phones
him indoors renewed his contract with vodafone and got a Tocco, it was crap! his stubble kept pressing buttons whilst on the phone, lmao, so after two days he rang and said he wanted to exchange the phone, as it was of no use to him, they tryed to charge him £350 for a new phone!!!!!!! so he threatened to cancel his contract, all in all after numerous phonecalls (paid by us) it took some five days to sort (i think they were holding on for the 15th day!) knob jockeys
keep smiling honey the world is a better place for it x :)

Sam said...

get the iPhone, get the iPhone!!!

Jozza said...

Ooh this is much better than Eastenders! I'm on tenterhooks waiting to find the outcome of this cliffhanger!

I love the way you describe stuff - it's fab :o)

Altogether now "Carphone Warehouse smell of wee and poo!" (that's what my 7 year old would say haha

Mooneybeams said...

Been with Orange for years and I agree, they are fab, but CP!!! OMG - cowboys does not even begin to describe it. . .They sold me a phone that ended up having about five hours battery life (while not even being used) so I took it back as it was obviously faulty. . . and they told me that was what it was supposed to have!!!! Went direct to Orange who exchanged it immediately. . .and ta-da! Guess what, it has nearly a week of battery life!

Beckie Dreyer said...

Oo having a bit of deja vu here! Same thing happened with me and Phones 4U!
Eventually I went direct to Vodaphone and all sort and smiley now though I did fork out more money for a cooler phone ... shhh don't tell DH!
Fingers crossed for you :)

Bev said...

The robbing swines!! Hurry with the update - I'm past meself now!!

Jo said...

Sat here.. totally understanding where you're coming from!!!!!

I went to Orange last year, after coming off BT.. the service is crap, no signal in the house at all unless I sit in the front bedroom next to the window.. I tried to return mine - hence why I still have it here nearly a year later!!!

Every sympathy with you! Hope it all works out okay.

Rosie (Freycob) said...

oooh Mrs W!

CP are kakkapoopoo indeed and are well known for their 'rules' regarding returns.

I always deal with the networks direct and have managed to get an AWSOME deal on my new phone through Orange direct, but I knew WHAT I wanted and HOW MUCH I was willing to pay for it and didn't budge. Took me 3 phone calls to renew my contract and each time I battled a little bit harder until..... result!!!! I got my Samsung Omnia (which the screen has packed up on 3 times so is being swapped today after only just over a week of having it!) I rang Orange last night at 5pm, got off the phone at 5.2pm with the promise of the replacement being with me between 9am and 1pm today. Now that's service!

Good luck hun!

Lulubelle said...

love to read your blog for soooo many reasons-this is the main one! after a rubbish day at work, you made me laugh out loud-long may you reign! x

NancyJones said...

you freakin crack my ass up girl

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