.....with the dog, in my jammies and I looked around it and I felt majorly deflated.
Belle was pootling on the laptop indoors(surfing on National Geographic of all places; thoroughly content).
Our garden is such a dump this year and Im ashamed to admit I haven't planted a damn thing.
Mainly because our extension was meant to be built this summer but due to "rack 'em up cowboys......yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaa" there has been a delay in getting everything in order.
As the extension was supposed to happen, I thought that there was no point tending to it.
I even hate cleaning the house to within an inch of its bleaching life because this extension was on my mind - and there ain't no point of cleaning a house when half of it's going to be demolished.
So I paced the garden with the dog and looked at the "pretty much shit state" it was in and I tried with all my might to appreciate it already.
I slowly began to admire the established hardy's by photographing them and avoiding all the wreckage that spoils my space - uneven paving, weedy lawn, broken shed etc.
And then I decided, through the lens of my camera, that I loved my little hidden corners of age old plants despite the fact the lawn turns into a swimming pool every time it rains (we have really poor drainage as we are on reclaimed marshland).
I love the heather even though its framed by a rickety fence (that will be replaced when the proposed extension happens) and I completely adore the ivy that twists and stretched in and around the trellis of our dividing fence with next door.
When the extension eventually happens, Im turning our green space in a place of tranquility with a pergola decked with wisteria and honeysuckle. Im desperate for a country style garden with delphiniums, foxglove, sweetpeas and snapdragons. I want a whole row of Verbena's (my absolute favourite garden flower) and I can't possibly live without Hosta's, Dhalia's, Stocks and Aquilegia's.
I have a very green fingered friend (the Maz Meister) who Im hoping will help me map out the perfect space so that I won't want to walk around it in my jammies but in a flowing summer frock and a glass of pimm's instead.
All we hope for after that is a bit of bleeding sunshine.