My happy Friday feelings this afternoon turned out to be just ok (short lived in all honesty, but nevertheless - a Friday feeling is a Friday feeling and we must never lose sight of it despite any shortcomings).
But prior to the overwhelming Friday feeling I was awoken by a call from my doctors surgery. **It had to be the results of my blood test from two weeks back**. I know this because its highly unlikely that my Doctor is going to ring me up for a random chat and say "'Sup bitch?" is he? And then I only went to the Docs because I have pitting oedema - well, according to my friend Clare who is a nurse said that I had it. Clare, incidentally tells me you only get pitting oedema if you are over 60 and suffer with heart problems.
Ooooh, lucky me.
So when I went to the doctors to tell him I had it and could he give me any water tablets he said no.
Oooooh, I thought. Why ever not?
Cos we needs bloods Mrs Wiseman.
So then I think OMG, I'm dying aren't I. You need my bloods to tell me that I have swelling of the oesophagus or perhaps I have a burst lymph node in my ears. Give it to me straight Doc - how long have I got to live?
He really wasn't in a groovy mood. Doctors never are. I mean, I don't want to be his best friend or anything but a lil chat and sweet talking for free liposuction on the NHS would be really nice.
He orders me to give blood and I go and give some more positive A. Its true that the NHS is bleeding us dry, isnt it? And then I get the call this morning to discuss the result.
He said I had to go in to the surgery in 2 weeks to discuss cholesterol.
I thought this was about my swollen leg not my arteries.
So I shout to my mother (who is staying with us for a few days) - "Thanks Mum, I got cholly and you gave it to me".
Then I go and sit down to a lard fuelled breakfast followed by some cake, chocolate and a second helping of buttered toast and wonder what all the fuss is about.
And now my prediction of dying in December has been cut short to October.
Must go and eat a tub of butter before I go to bed to help it on its way.