Ive always been grateful for the technology that comes Ellie's way in our desperate plight to find out the root of her disabilities.
But what really does cut you up is pinning your hopes on a fool proof test that then only delivers the crappiest of all punchlines: COME BACK IN 12 MONTHS.
Blink blink stare. Kaboom in your cavity where once a heart did beat. Heavy, dull ache in your head. Hands reach out to touch the child you adore. Thoughts swimming through your head like "Have we done enough?", "Can we do anymore?", "Will we just call it quits to prevent further heartache?".
I feel right now.......
I want give up.
I'm throwing the towel in completely, forever, full stop.
No more tears to shed, Ive run dry.
I have completely choked on my own heartache.
I can't breathe.
I was left incredbily speechless, today, that I just gave up the fight.
Even Mark was dumbfounded. And thats says A LOT.
And the weird thing is, the Physio knew it and did all she could to placate us.
But it didn't work.
I saw Mark staring into space whilst absorbing all these words that meant nothing, really. Whilst I was waiting to hear one tiny clue or key word that would take us onto the next level.
Anyone want to take on the NHS for us?