But today really was her day.
For those that don't know, Ellie is everything to me shared 50/50 with marko and we care so much about her. So much to the point it makes our hearts ache for all she puts up with (health wise). Today I lost it, emotionally, as something I watched on the Tv triggered off my hidden depth emotions and I let rip. I am a member of various forums and organisations ranging from Gulf War Babies to photography to scrapping to photoshop to cardmaking to outreach centres. Each 15 of the forums I am a member of (some not so active, you hear!) know either everything and nothing about her. One particular forum is a very tight, close and tidy community of only 120 members and its there I sounded off my concerns to be met with warmth and kindness. I needed them this afternoon and they were there.
So when I come to pick up belle from her school trip this afternoon and she relayed her day with such relish - all of my pain, tears and emotional paled into significance (or is the term insignificance - who knows, who cares?) Belle had to dress up as a victorian child today which we struggled with. The dress code was long dress/skirt, white blouse, pinny and shawl. At two weeks notice there was no way I could make one up nor afford to buy these clothes outright (to be never worn again) so a teacher lent these to her. She felt so important to be doing this and didnt mind those funny pantaloons. She looked more like a little old lady with her glasses perched on the end of her nose - my heart melted.
Belle explained that they had to re-enact victorian child youth from scrubbing floors, wiping and cleaning surfaces and making beds in a massive dormitory. Although Ellie didnt actually partake in those becuase of her inability to do most of them - the staff at the retreat involved her in a sweet little way. Well to Ellie (and me) that was monumental. The best thing about her day was the scones she made and brought home. At first she wasn't keen to try them but I said Id slap a bit of butter on them so she could at least appreciate her baking. Well she polished two off quicker than you could go to the fridge and put the butter back. She rabbited on about every inch and second of the day and my little cup runneth over with love. I just look at this little girl and wonder how she manages and boy she does. I know its me thats a wreck and perhaps seen by others as not being a good influence but then again - I wouldn't be a mother if I didn't ache for her.So this is Ellie day today. You can keep your AppleiPhones for today and the tax returns (phew, made it... thanks Lynne!!!). My belle is a wonder babe and so much more. **sigh**