I couldn't attend the funeral of a dear, sweet scrapper today because I had a hospital appointment which I couldn't cancel. I wanted to and in hindsight wish I had of because it was just awful. 4 times they tried to feed a line into my hands (twice in the arm). It still hurts, both arms and hands are black and blue. Worst thing was that my MIL took me and of course I didn't want to cry in front of her but in the end I broke my heart. I was thinking that I'd rather be celebrating the life of Joanne (see picture). A woman who barely cried and who asked others to be brave for her and not cry too. I sat there wailing in my bed being such a blub and ordered myself to be strong. And in lots of ways I am but when they call for two aneasthatists to try and raise the veins in my arms and hands, strangling my bloody supply to my fingers until I couldnt feel them, attempting 3 times to feed the line for 35 minutes and then hurrah ... line fed.
With the treatment complete I was taken home alone and I slept. Ellie was picked up from school and dropped off and I slept. Ellie fended for herself and Im so proud of that girl. She roused me at 7pm to ask for a bath. She stroked my hair and whispered so darling into my ear. She ran the bath for us both and I made us a massive plate of pasta, chopped ham and cheese to munch in bed after the bath. We have just finished, Im typing up a wee blog and have edited some photos and its back to bed.
I guess that rather than mope (which I haven't, yet!) Id sit here and thank my lucky stars that I get to cuddle my child tonight. I know two kids who won't get that from their mother this evening and for that Im at a loss for words :(
Goodnight Joanne and god bless xx