Ladies Camera Club

4 Dec 2006

Horrible, Horrible day :(

I couldn't attend the funeral of a dear, sweet scrapper today because I had a hospital appointment which I couldn't cancel. I wanted to and in hindsight wish I had of because it was just awful. 4 times they tried to feed a line into my hands (twice in the arm). It still hurts, both arms and hands are black and blue. Worst thing was that my MIL took me and of course I didn't want to cry in front of her but in the end I broke my heart. I was thinking that I'd rather be celebrating the life of Joanne (see picture). A woman who barely cried and who asked others to be brave for her and not cry too. I sat there wailing in my bed being such a blub and ordered myself to be strong. And in lots of ways I am but when they call for two aneasthatists to try and raise the veins in my arms and hands, strangling my bloody supply to my fingers until I couldnt feel them, attempting 3 times to feed the line for 35 minutes and then hurrah ... line fed.
With the treatment complete I was taken home alone and I slept. Ellie was picked up from school and dropped off and I slept. Ellie fended for herself and Im so proud of that girl. She roused me at 7pm to ask for a bath. She stroked my hair and whispered so darling into my ear. She ran the bath for us both and I made us a massive plate of pasta, chopped ham and cheese to munch in bed after the bath. We have just finished, Im typing up a wee blog and have edited some photos and its back to bed.
I guess that rather than mope (which I haven't, yet!) Id sit here and thank my lucky stars that I get to cuddle my child tonight. I know two kids who won't get that from their mother this evening and for that Im at a loss for words :(
Goodnight Joanne and god bless xx


Jen said...

Big hugs dear Kirsty! I so hope it's nothing serious :( I know you are very sad about Joanne, who I only know of as being Anita's sister. It's tragic and I'm so sorry you are hurting. It's that kind of time for us too - little C's funeral on Friday which I'm kind of dreading but wouldn't miss for my friend's sake (his mum). We must hug our loved ones closer and count our blessings. Love ya!! xxxx

tjc designs Craft Cabin Blog said...

OMG!! I do not know her but have to say read your blog and cried! Thoughts, wishes and hugs are sent your way.

Traci x

Ms. E said...

I've been there with the vein problem (and my Mum too) and often felt like I've been through 50 rounds after being "punched" in the arms by needles! I sympathise with your frustration and upset - it's trying. I hope it's nothing bothersome and you'll be ok. :O)

I've been thinking about Joanne and her family today too - I'm so sad about it all and shall miss her so much from my team at UKS. Such a lovely lady... :(

Take care.
Ell. x

Corinnexxx said...

hope your fine my friend and so sorry for you that you couldn;t be with the funeral but you were there in spirit and that is what counts.hugs!


lee woodside said...

Oh sweetie I just cried too. Big hugs coming your way.

Laura said...

I'm blubbing like a baby here Kirsty!

There is nothing i can attempt to say that will help the way you feel hon, but know that my thoughts are with you during this sad time. I hope you soon feel better. xxx

Birgit said...

Kirsty you bring tears to my eyes. I know how you feel, I feel the same way when I hug my kids. I have to think about her a lot. I think we should be very thankful for what we've got even if it's not always perfect!
I hope you will be fine soon. Sorry you had such a horrible day!
Take care, Birgit

Missy said...

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your dear friend. Hugs to you!!!

amber jane said...

((((hugs)))) Kirsty my darling girl - please look after yourself,do you know this time last year we were eating mince pies and chatting ? miss you hun xxx

Roz Roz said...

sending you massive hugs and love

D@nielle said...

Oh sweetie, wish I could give you a big old hug .... Yes it is a sad day and you know what even though you couldn't be there physically be there you were there !

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