Having spent the most thrilling day with my daughter yesterday on the woodland walk, I have had to reassess a couple of priorities in my life. They are temporary but from yesterday she is my saviour. Her wee little body is getting better (in a more spiritual sense as opposed to physical strength) and her willingness to be involved with things now is immense. Ellie and I had a heart to heart on our walk. We discussed feelings and emotions, we held hands and kissed them every so often, we bent down to look at random objects, we pointed at things we would normally never discuss and she just wanted to do so much more than her body would normally allow. I see the child in her that should have been years ago - perhaps she is finally growing and Im sat here believing. And Im happily believing too.
So we spent time together again today. We took a trip over to see Sarah. I haven't seen Sarah for 5 weeks and we went to deliver a belated card and gift. I had made her a canvas that I had inked and painted myself. It wasn't a Monet but it was made from the heart and I think she loved it. It was good to talk to her and offload. We shared and laughed and drank coffee but poor sweet Ellie had dropped off. I knew that the walk yesterday would take its toll somehow and as she drifted off into a cosy slumber, Sarah and I caught up with stuff. Sarah is 6 weeks pregnant now after her second IVF attempt. She truly has the soul and patience of saint and a very calming manner. I sat and listened to her as Ellie lay across my lap in a ball of delighfulness and I took little wistful, dreamy glances at her and I felt an overwhelming rush of more love for her. She was so tired but safe in her mothers grasp. For most 10 years olds, this is not a "cool occurence" but for Ellie and I to have these moments, which have been lacking over the years, it was obscenely gratifying.
As I left, Sarah handed over to me a handful of THESE amazing blooms. You know me and my large blooms right? Well you have to see these - they made me very happy. You can only buy them from Sarah in a varying size of delightfulness. Share the flowery love, dudes.