Ladies Camera Club

13 Oct 2006

Dares up

Have I not told you enough of how much I love the dares? They are up again and this week was "in one day". I did mine about Belle and continued with was a card hater then a cardmaker. You have access to all my stuff but you choose when YOU want to craft. My Belle hates crafting - can you believe it? I did get asked was that becuase I dont have time? I always have time for Belle - but she loves to sit on my knee from time to time and direct me, but woe betide her getting glue on her fingers. She is anal about stickies (dirty hands) so would much rather boss me about. But this card she made was for my MIL and she did a great job. **not that she was sticking the emebllies on the BACK of the card** I love it that most kids do that!
Im away shooting Emma today along with her family. Im trying out my fabbo Canon 20D but will take along my trusty Fuji, just incase I fall back in love with carrying round the breeze block of all cameras. I went out and bought a 70-300mm Sigma for the Canon today with a macro switch. I *heart* it. Have plans with that baby. we all have plans. Whats your plans?
Whilst I am away, I have a copy of the new Parties for Children Book to give away which I helped contribute artwork for and a copy of this months Scrapbook mag. I made a snippet of the front cover with a layout I did of this lady's little ladies. To win, please can you tell me a disgustingly funny joke and the one that makes me laugh out loud, hard, will get the maggos worth £12
Until Sunday night, my sweet bloggers - have a bloody fabulous weekend. Love love love.


Gina said...

Adorable photos! Love her intense looks. : )

Corinnexxx said...

ok I am not good at jokes at all, but I can tell you something funny that did happen a while ago. Now you have to know that I sleep in my birthcostume for this to understand. So here i was lying in bed on my back. My oldest son who was 6 than came to our room to snuggle with us in our bed. So when I pulled the blankets for him to get under the covers he stares at my boobies for a while and than says with a serious voice: Mom do you know your boobies look like fish eyes? BWHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA I thought that was sooooo funny, hope you do too!


Jen said...

Oh cr*p! I don't do jokes :( And I soooo want to win one of your give aways.. Let me see if I can remember an anecdote.....Er..... Nope! Nothing. Zero. Zilch. If anything comes to me I'll come back and comment.

Hysteri-CAL said...

Mummy, Mummy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat?

Shut up and eat your meat loaf.

Mummy, Mummy! What is a deliquent child?

Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.

What is green and smells?
Hulk's fart.

Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party?
Because he was a party pooper.

Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.

There was a guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine. She was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started working there. Her name was Clearly, and she was absolutely gorgeous.

He began to like her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But, he was a loyal man and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.

He decided that there was nothing for him to do but to break up with Lorraine and date the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

One day as they were walking along the river bank, Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned.

The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing..." I can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone..."

Boom boom !!!

Roz Roz said...

here goes, hope it makes you laugh.

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!" he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my Porridge?!!," heroars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and
yells, "For Christ's sake, how many times do we have to go through this with
you idiots?
It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was

Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away,it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the damn table, it was Momma Bear who put the friggin cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and, now that youv'e decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs, and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I'm going to say this only one more time.


lowrygirl said...

I could tell you a tale about pretending to be a sexy French woman and dialling the wrong number and getting y 15 year old nephew instead of DH - you would laugh especially if I told you what I was earing at the time.

Sam said...

ok here's my joke

"two cannibals eating a clown, one says to another "does this taste funny to you?"

ha ha hee hee

scrappyfairy said...

two snowmen in a field...

one says to the other..

"can you smell carrots?"

Faith said...

My favourite joke of all time....

How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
No one knows, coz it's never been done!!!!
Hee Hee

Faith x

Hysteri-CAL said...

... and there's more ....

1. A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

2. What's the definition of a pessimist? A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.

3. One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BAS**RD!!!!"

4. Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance they looked like hares!

5. What kind of ears does an engine have? Engineers

6. At an auction in Manchester a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing £10,000 and would give a reward of £100 to the person who found it.
From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted, "I'll give £150!"

Ann(i)e said...

just loved hearing your voice on that little video clip!!!
Wanna see some shots from you weekend photoshoot.
HOpe all is well...

Sally said...

I have a joke for you!

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

pigglet said...

What's the difference between bogies and cabbage?

Children won't eat cabbage!

how do you make a hankie dance?

put some bogie into it!

yep i have now officially spent too long listening to bad jokes from my ds age nearly 10!!!

hope you had a great weekend


Sally said...

Did you know they are now using 'low fat' wafers at communion. They are called 'I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus.
lol. well, I thought it was funny.

Hysteri-CAL said...

OK ... none of my jokes are showing up ... so i'm sending more .... bet they turn into buses and all turn up at once .....

anyway chuck ... next lot of hofferings ....

A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink.
A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands.
The girl looked at him and says: 'You must be a dentist!'
Flabergasted, the guy responded 'Yes, that's amazing how did you figure that out ?'
The girl said: 'Easy .... you keep washing your hands'
One thing led to another, they migrated to the bed and things became more passionate. After they were done, the girl said: 'You must be a GREAT dentist!'
The guy was very very surprised, and said 'Yes, I sure am a great dentist ... How did you figure that out??'
The girl said: 'Easy ... I didn't feel a thing'

Hysteri-CAL said...

Whats green and the shape of a bucket ?

A green bucket !

Tracie H said...

Two nuns are driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet.

The nun who is driving says to the other, "Quick! Show him your cross."

So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "Get off our f*cking car."
Tee hee hee.

joanna said...

Ooh, I can't wait to see that edition of the Scrapbook Maggo; thank you for scwapping my little ladies, Kirstles :) Lovin' your dare layout - wubs that little peach. OK, here's my joke: Q. What's pink and hard? A. A pig with a flick knife!!! xxx

Suz said...

Hi Kirsty, Ive emailed you mine as it might offend some people, hope thats ok! Suz xx

Missy said...

oooohhh Kirsty this is a fabbo layout. I love her precious little face holding that card. I am 80% done with my layout for this challenge - it's a good one. I hope to finish tonight and post tomorrow.

Sorry no jokes from me - well none I can put on a public blog anyway.

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